Leave The World Behind: A movie review

Leave The World Behind is one of those movies that ended abruptly, which is a distinct characteristic of an indie film, specially in the Philippines. 

Though some audience are happy with that, praising how smart it is of movie makers to leave the ending open so that viewers will participate in the story's plot, and so that the intellectuals are free to form a thousand plot possibilities... I am not one of these viewers. 

Yes, I am the type of customer who orders at a fast food hungry and expects to eat a whole cheeseburger, with fries and drink (if I ordered that exact list)... nothing less! I don't expect to be served a half-eaten burger or be served a burger missing its lettuce, onion and tomato just because the crew doesn't feel like going to the pantry and slicing pieces of the hamburger components and then be expected to understand the staff just because "matalino naman ako" and I can adjust.

In the same way, I don't expect to watch a movie and invest my attention and feelings on it, only for it to end abruptly just because. It feels like being asked to play a game with someone, and in the middle of the game, my opponent would suddenly quit out of the game and suddenly shout "Ayawan na! Ayawan na!" just because. 

I feel it lacks manners... like I am deprived of something that's rightfully mine. (At this case, of a proper ending to a movie.)

So yes, this is a note to movie and story makers that when you create a movie or a story, please deliver and finish it with no excuses. Thank you.

Ghost Ache: When Will It Leave Me?

 There's a ghost ache that lives within me. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever heal from previous loves and past hurts. Because although I fall too easily over and over again for someone new, when I re-examine my heart and look for old wounds, I find it wincing and trying to avoid inspection, afraid I will look at past rejections cause it still hurts. It seems I haven't stopped crying even in the midst of falling in love with different souls. 

The Center Cannot Hold: A Book Review

 

The Center Cannot Hold, a memoir written by schizophrenic author Elyn R. Saks, is an account of an adult woman who has a mental illness and how she went through things a normal girl would --like going to college, going to law school, finding a job, making friends, handling relationships, and dating. 

After reading just the first few pages, I was immediately endeared to Elyn, much like how I was endeared to Ramona, the eight-year-old character Beverly Cleary created in her children's book series years ago. Even if Elyn is an actual person, Ramona is a fictional character, and they were decades apart in ages, both have similarities. Ramona throws tantrums while Elyn has episodes. In both cases, both girls strive to be understood by the world around them and they feel frustrated and alone when they are not and when their needs aren't met. My heart goes out to both of them when they are feeling helpless and can't do anything about their situations due to unfortunate circumstances in their thought or emotional processes. I was always rooting for both Elyn and Ramona as they struggle through their unique disorder that no one else around them has and even as the world sees them as someone spoiled, selfish and constantly blames them for something they can not control. 

"Have you ever killed anyone?' This is what Elyn usually asks anyone she is with when she is about to have an episode. She then proceeds to tell whoever is listening that she has killed thousands with her thoughts. Sometimes she also thinks and says out loud that she is God or that she used to be God. 

According to Elyn, the difference between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder is that schizophrenia is a thought disorder while bipolar disorder is a mood disorder. 

I liked how the author is honest with how she wrote her memoir, not filtering out even the most violent or absurd thoughts she had when she was having episodes, and it was a good thing that the editors did not cut these out as well. I think that for people to understand mental illness, it is essential to be absolutely honest about it so that people going through similar situations may find hope and be encouraged to get the help they need so that they may be able to lead --if not a normal life-- at least a life where they can be happy. The book gives hope to mentally ill people by making them think that like Elyn, they can also find the career, the love, the acceptance and the support that they needed. 

Why Epilogue by Justin Hurwitz is my go-to song when I am sad

If there's only one track I can listen to when I am feeling heartbroken and sad, it has got to be this song. Even 5 years later, I feel every note and melody of this track with undeniable melancholy... A mild wave of sadness that feels its way around you tentatively, and yet wrings your heart with wistful memories of past loves and a pain that never really seem to go away.

When this movie was shown, I watched it with someone I loved whom I did not end up with, much like what happened with the protagonists of the movie. 

It was also a time in my life when I did not feel sure about anything at all: It was the 1st time I moved out and lived on my own and no one helped me move to my new place. My supervisor at work was giving me a hard time. Finally, I was dating a guy I adore who was also dating another girl and I do not know where I stand. 

Shortly after me and the guy I dated separated ways, I remember imagining the two of us dancing to the sad notes of Epilogue slowly, and he would give me one final spin before handing me over to my next dance partner, the next guy I will love. 

Even though I stopped having feelings for him years ago, I started associating the whole Lalaland soundtrack --especially Epilogue-- to feelings of sadness and longing for someone. So should you ever catch me playing this song or any other Lalaland track on Spotify, it means I am feeling quite sad. 

I have an artist ex who never drew me for the most part of our time together. It was weird and when he finally did after stressful nagging and pressure from me, the portraits he came up with never looked anything like me at all, unlike portraits of other girls he did which were all impressive and accurate.

One looked like a local actress and another portrait just did not look like me. I pondered this for a time and thought that maybe he doesn't really know me or appreciate me for who I am.

Towards the end of our relationship, finally, he came up with one that looked like me.

Although it was unfinished, it was something he did where finally, I can recognize myself. I can see my sadness in this. Surprisingly, I also recognized myself in another portrait he did shortly after he did my portrait of a well-known celebrity.

I guess it's his way of honoring my contribution to his life and expressing that even though he is now with someone new, he somehow missed me.

I'm 37 years old and I still get puppy love

I will always treasure having met you, "Lito".

Yes, I do. The kind that makes you burst in endless, uncontrollable tears till your eyes get swollen almost shut the next morning the moment he tells you he has a girlfriend on your second date --a date you took careful time to prepare for and dressed your best 'coz he teased you that you looked like "namalengke" on your first date. The kind that fills your tummy with butterflies when you look at his photos or control the urge to hug and kiss him in public 'coz to your infatuated mind, no one else looks quite as breath-takingly, heart-stoppingly, adorably cute as your "baby" --actual babies included.

The same puppy love that makes you send a heartfelt poem about missing someone to him, and telling him to send it to his girlfriend so that they'll patch things up 'coz you just want him to be happy even if it makes your heart wince. The kind that makes you pray for him in church instead of praying for yourself, asking God fervently to always keep him safe, that he gets a good life, good health and everything he's ever hoped for, sending him meditative rays of healing white light in the process because oddly, it just makes more sense for you to ask God to bless him before he blesses you --a first for a fairly selfish person who rarely prays for her self, let alone for others.

It is the puppy love that eradicates all your preconceived notions that men who dates you should pick you up to and from your doorstep at home should they ever want to go out with you, or that you would only agree to go out with them if the place is convenient, say walking distance away from work or home, or at specific public commute stops you pass by on your way home from work and that they should pay for everything always. This type of love makes you illogically book exorbitantly expensive Grab fares to and from your new suburban home to where he wants to chill so you can be with him faster, when you never book a cab anywhere 'coz you'd rather spend money on food. The type that makes you meekly say "OK" when he wants a late night drinking companion when you don't even drink and just the idea of staying up late makes you cranky for reducing precious hours of sleep.

This type of love is when you are just happy being his friend, and you don't ever ask him for anything more. Coz you are at your happiest just to be with him, being near him even as he completely ignores you despite traveling all the distance to see him and chats with someone else on his phone --giving attention to everyone else trying to contact him in his online world but alienating the one right in front of him.

Like any puppy love, the smallest, most inconsequential things fill you up with foolish joy and hope in your heart... You look forward to him asking "San ka?", as it meant you will see him again, to which you will readily reply,"San mo gusto?", signifying your willingness to drop everything to be with him.

It puts a silly grin on your face to watch a Youtube video that declare twin flames are at least 10 years apart (your age gap is 12 years). You also happily recall the time when you are channeling your psychic powers, and you came up with a fair-skinned guy with slanted eyes years before you meet him, same as how you came up with names of two other exes before you met them. 


But despite living in this dream world when you are apart, you know that this is the type of love where you will never pressure him for anything when the two of you are actually together. It's the puppy love that gives you contentment just to kiss him on the cheek whenever you part because you respect him and you never want him to feel awkward or imposed-upon... or that you and he should have a boy-girl intimacy just because one of you likes the other.

It hasn't occurred to you to ever make him wait --your replies, your approval to come with him whenever and wherever.... everything is automatic when it comes to granting wishes for your puppy love because as quoted in your favorite sappy chick flick My Sassy Girl: "Fate is building a bridge of chance for someone you love." So this means no mind games, no wait for 3 hours to reply, no nothing. Just your plain, raw, pure love for him and you ain't afraid to let it be known 'coz you just don't feel like masking it or showing him any other thing apart from what you truly feel for him. 

Your feelings for him are similar to that of a child's when they don't try to hide their delight upon seeing you or they don't hide that they want to play with you nor do they attempt to stop it when their faces light up with bright smiles to show how much they missed you when they haven't seen you for a while.


But maybe puppy loves aren't meant for 37-year-olds. Nor is it meant to be dedicated to 49-year-olds. Maybe it's time that I grow up and fall in love the way proper adults do.

Make Gift Giving Hassle-Free with GC Regalo!

Although buying something for ourselves and shopping for new clothes, gadgets or goodies can always be a source of happiness for us, there is no greater joy than the joy we get from giving gifts to other people. And with Christmas just around the corner, everyone is already busy scouting the malls for the perfect gifts to give their loved ones. For those who are stumped on what to get the special people who made a difference in their lives for the past year, below are fool-proof gift-giving ideas for all occasions:

•  Make it all about them and not you.

• One way to ensure that the gift you will give will be appreciated? Go out of your way to really know the person -and most specifically- find out their likes, their hobbies, favorite characters, etc. Just spend a week observing what they do in their free time, or look at their social media accounts for clues on what they like based on the photos they have posted in the past. Once you have an idea about what they like, then you will find it easier to shop for what they want. Remember that although you may be tempted to give them a gift that YOU yourself want for yourself, they may not appreciate it as much, and they will be much happier in getting a gift that truly reflects their interests and likes. 

•  Personalize your gift. 

•  Another way to make your Christmas gift or birthday gift extra special is by personalizing it. Personalizing a gift is really very sweet and thoughtful as it means you have put ample time and consideration in preparing it as opposed to just getting a last-minute gift from the mall. In deciding on which gift to personalize, you can either base it on your own talent. Are you artistically inclined and is skilled at drawing, painting or calligraphy? Do you like baking cupcakes in your free time? Perhaps you can make a short poem for them? How about serenading them with your epic guitar skills? Or if you don't have any specific skill or talent, you could just have a shirt or pen customized with their names, school, club affiliations, or anything they're currently interested in at the moment. 

•  Give them their favorite food. 

•  What could be better than their favorite food? Everybody loves food and it's guaranteed not to go to waste as their is always someone they can share the food with. So multiply the joy by giving them their favorite food... whether it be their favorite dessert (cookies, brownies, cakes and ice cream), favorite chips, nuts or snacks or their favorite food from a restaurant (pizza, fries, donuts, chicken).

•  Simply give them a Gift Certificate. 

• When all else fails, just give them a Sodexo Premium Pass Gift Certificate or GC Regalo. By getting them a Gift Certificate, you are relieved from the burden of having to gift wrap a present, and you are also saved from having to carry a bulky and heavy gift package which you have to hail a taxi cab to be able to deliver as you just need to hand the certificates enclosed in an envelope. Best of all, you give your loved ones the freedom to just be able to choose their gift however they want it as the Sodexo Premium Pass Gift Certificates may be used in around 100 restaurants and food establishments, major department stores and supermarkets nationwide, skin clinics, salons and spas, electronic and appliance stores, pharmacies, clothing and shoe stores as well as leisure parks, theater and bowling alleys. By purchasing the Sodexo Premium Pass Gift Certificate or GC Regalos, shopping for a gift this Christmas is truly hassle-free and convenient to do! 

Light In the Dark: Musings While Travelling

When I was travelling in Iloilo, I glimpsed this through our window while riding the ferry... 

It was a magnificent sunset. a glorious bright and wild fiery lava-like sliver of color that seeped through an otherwise darkening, almost black sky. 

As with anything by nature, I was mesmerized. I looked at it in awe, dazed by its beauty... the audacity of it to be so loud and colorful amidst the dark skies. As a child, I've often wondered if blazing sunset such as this one signifies the hot coals of hell and that maybe all of us can see hell from our windows at home or maybe it's the opposite.. maybe it's actually paradise peeping and saying hi to us. 

Well, that day on the ferry, I chose the latter. I imagined the feisty pink-orange light to be a beacon of inspiration, and it filled me with hope to be able to see it waving high and proud at me, telling me that my dreams are not impossible at all but are indeed attainable and that although I may not be there right now, I know that one day, I will reach it. One day my skies will be filled with bright glorious light and it will be amazing. 

Watercolor

 I give you back your heart. I give you permission. She is the sum of yourself and your dreams. Approach her like a monument, step after step. She is solid. She is your have to have. As for me, I am watercolor. I wash off. --Anne Sexton

Pagitan

Habang ako ay nagpapahinga
Doon kita natagpuan, aking Pagitan
Sa kalagitnaan ng aking pag-aalinlangan sa aking naging simula at dulo, ako ay iyong nilapitan
Ginusto kong maglibang at huwag ng malungkot
Sa sandaling kasama ka ako'y nakalimot.
Alam kong ang mga tulad mo ang siyang dapat iniiwasan ko ngunit andiyan ka na
At andito naman ako
Sa una ay maayos ang lahat, pakiramdam ko pareho tayo ng gusto.
Wala ito, sandali lang ito, ang sabi ko.
Kunsabagay, pagitan ka lang naman, mayroon pang tiyak na dulo.
Ngunit sa pagtagal-tagal, lagi ko ng natatagpuan ang sarili ko
Na nasa Pagitan.
Hanggang sa kinalimutan ko na ang aking simula, at ni ayaw ko na makita kung san man ang aking dulo
Basta dito ka lang lagi,
Aking Pagitan.

To Be A Girl in a Patriarchial Society

I will survive the day without someone trying to...
Touch me.
Hit on me.
Or make inappropriate comments about me.
When it used to feel safer knowing male friends will attend a party,
Now I am more...
Alert.
On guard.
And ready to kick,
Prepared to diss man's every trick.
Whatever happened to platonic friendship?
Now I can't have tea without him asking for something to keep.
The world can't really expect me to form something deep
When all these monkeys are acting really cheap.

That Moment When I Made The First Move

I have always been the passive type of lover. As someone who never cared about anyone unless someone goes out of their way to spend time with me, feed me and my ego, and convince me that having them in my life is as normal as breathing, I usually just ignore everyone around me.

That's why it's hard for me to imagine that back in high school, I actually made the first move to let a guy I barely knew that I liked him. 

The event was brought about by one simple incident that happened a few days before. It was right after our ACP (Aerospace Cadet of the Philippines) class when one of the girls in my class made a joke as we stood near the school gate. Being the slow wit that I was, I only got the joke when everyone else left, and as I looked out the gate while finally getting the joke and a smile slowly spreading on my lips, I suddenly found myself looking at a guy from my batch who also smiled back at me.  Looking around me to check if there was anyone else, I was embarrassed to find that I was alone and that the guy from my batch probably thought I was hitting on him. But more than being embarrassed, I also found that I fell into some form of trance with his smile and that although I've seen him around and paid no attention to him before, suddenly I can't forget his smile. 

So much so that when our school held a recollection event for all the seniors in the batch and they asked us to give red ribboned candles for love, I acted on impulse and had my love candle delivered to him, never mind that we never had a class together nor spoke a word to each other in all our elementary and high school years in school. I didn't even think of what my friends or his friends will think, or what he himself will think or whether he has a girlfriend in our batch...I just wanted to give him something for his smile. 

Seeing You Again

Yesterday, for the first time since we met and since I have known you to be my neighbor, we crossed each other's path accidentally. I knew it was inevitable, with you living just a stone's throw away from where I live, and with both of us having just a 1-hour difference in our work schedules -you being speeded up by having your own vehicle and me being slowed down by public transportation and my tendency to buy groceries first before heading home.

Ever since we met, I had acquired the habit of always peering intently at the faces of motorcycle riders to see if it was you. Yesterday, it really was you. You were wearing your helmet, allowing me to just look at your eyes for identification. I had planned on what to do when I see you again -originally thinking of snubbing you or looking at you and then looking away pointedly and then later on thinking that my heart will probably be transparent anyway and that I'll most likely give you a sad smile in the incident that you cross my path and you are with your new love.

I did none of that. I looked up straight in your helmeted eyes and held your gaze for as long as I can, savouring the moment, drinking the presence of you all in, knowing that it was all I had and will probably ever have in a world where I have to rely on circumstance to see you again. I never saw your motorcycle to confirm if it was really you. I never had the chance as I was stunned to see you or the idea of you, asking myself if it was really you, unsure of myself, unsure of you. But what if it's not you, I asked myself. Yes of course, it is you, I chided myself. I'd know those eyes from anywhere even if they are quite sad. They mirror my own emotions.

Museum of Broken Relationships

I've long heard about the Museum of Broken Relationships. But today, I actually got to see it via this video I found on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ajplusenglish/videos/750086135132896/ The museum is a place to donate items that remind owners of their exes and each item comes with a story like the small dinosaur toy on which the caption read: "Remember how many skee balls we had to roll in order to win this?" 

Seeing the video inspired me to think of what my donations for the Museum of Broken Relationships would be:

• My red shirt                                                                                                                             

I wore this when I decided to travel 4 hours to surprise him on Valentine's Day. Afterwards, I refused to wash it because it smelled like his perfume and for a time, I always slept with the shirt next to me. 

• Movie Passes 

I scored passes and invited him to watch a movie with me for our 3rd date. Towards the end of the night, I tried giving him his pass to keep as a souvenir. He told me to just keep it. Maybe it was a sign I didn't see. 

• Loom Band 

This loom band was given to me by a friend who worked with me. But I will include this in memory of someone else -the boy I was in a relationship with at that time. We used to spend all our weekends together ever since we got together but there was 1 whole week when we didn't see each other 'cause I was so busy. Anyway, when we finally saw each other, he told me that in my absence, he had repaired my loom band which had gotten broken and which I left at his house. 

• Couple Photo Collage

Back when photo collage apps still don't exist and my Photoshop skills were very limited, I asked my best friend to create a collage of me and my guy's numerous photos and then printed it so I can give it to him as a Valentine's gift. 

This Thing Called Infatuation

When we first met, you were wearing one of your black shirts that you always wore the first few times we dated. I think they were your best shirts. They made you look thinner and hid your beer belly. I never saw any trace of them later on. Anyway, during that first date exactly a few years ago, I knew you liked me or what I represented to you at that first glance. I knew because you never complained about the bill even if I surprised you with a pretty expensive choice for that impromptu dinner date brought about by my sudden PMS craving for beef belly. Neither did I hear a peep from you when I picked an imported ice cream chocolate bar from the grocery and made you pay for it, too. I have been jobless for some time, thus penniless. I knew I got you coz when we were about to part, you were even humming a song.

When we first met I thought you looked fairly cute. Not bad, I told myself after my first glimpse of your face.

The second time we met, you were wearing an elegant black jacket sitting directly below the chandeliers at the lounge of the newly opened cinema in BGC. When you saw me, you flashed me a brilliant smile, so happy to see me, and I can't help but smile back coz you were so dashing and your smile so genuine. I started falling in love with the crinkles around your eyes which showed everytime you smile or laugh.

The first time I rode with you on your motorcycle, I buried my face in your back coz you were going too fast. You thought I was being sweet and sorta rubbed your stubbled chin on the back of my hand on your shoulder (which I thought was cute if not a bit odd)

I loved how your face would always light up with a smile by way of greeting whenever we met. The first few times, I smiled back, but I was back to my poker resting bitch face after that coz it's my most natural state.

Like your predecessors, I am once again in total bewilderment of how I can fall for you when you didn't seem to exhibit too much lovable traits. But for me, you were absolutely beautiful. All I have to do to forget all about your shortcomings is imagine the magical moment when I snuggled up hesitantly next to you to sleep, and you inched yourself all the way into my arms and as close as you can be before kissing me lightly on my forehead and falling asleep. I ache to be with you always, and when I was not with you, I imagine myself sending you kisses, hugs and an auric shield filled with love so that you may always wake up happy and in a good mood. At night, I wish to the stars and pray to the universe to always keep you safe and to let you know how much I love you.

When you started to withdraw your affections, I vacillated between letting you go and holding on, but reaching out to you somehow always won. I reasoned with myself: Can I really live with myself for not trying to understand you when you are the person I love the most in this world? Is this (shunning you) any way to treat someone who will be my husband? 

After this reasoning, I always came back to you. I sent you beautiful poetry or articles related to motorcycles or helpful links about your career and even childish Viber stickers. I sent you signs of my love patiently each night with a curtly keyed-in good night or a corny good night sticker just before I close my eyes to rest each night, never mind that you don't respond or just seen-zone it. "I love you and I will not give up" is my battlecry, and I ignored all the hurt you were piling up on me. I will not be calling out all your faults coz after all loving is not about me, but my decision to continue giving it to you even without getting any in return.

I had no idea when I intended to stop until one day when I decided to take a peek at your profile, and found that the only heart I had ached for every waking day for months --and which had been kept safely out of my reach-- now belongs to someone else.

From Denial to Acceptance: Going from Slim to Huggable

I have always been a waif for most of my pre-pubescent and pubescent years and up until college. Everyone in the family would always tease me "tikling" which I understood to be a tall, thin object because I resemble exactly that in their eyes. On my second year of college, I had the waist line of 23 inches and our pre-physical check-up for our swimming class in P.E. revealed that I only weigh 88 lbs.

I know that most of my friends and family are surprised at how big I've suddenly become. So to settle that, here are the compilation of facts and reasons on why I suddenly "blew up" for those of you who are wondering:

1.  When the movie Queen of the Damned was released, I remember one of my friends saying that they didn't enjoy it as much because "Aaliyah was too petite to be a queen". That simple comment had been engraved in my memory for future reference. 
2.  I remember browsing through photos of me from my bro's camera when I was a bit "chunkier" and I also remember feeling happy with my heavier albeit curvier figure. 
3.  Friends and family always tease me for my "lack of behind". Even got into an argument with an ex that ended in me almost hitting him with my bag and umbrella (he ducked) because he kept on insisting that I had my cherry popped already simply derived from his mom's theory that "flat-assed" women had their cherries popped. 
4. Back when I was with MTV, we had an intern who was bigger than normal in terms of height and size but also curvier which led me to appreciate bigger and curvier women. I observed that curves are more emphasized and exaggerated when you are bigger as opposed to being curvy when you are petite where it's easy to overlook 'cause you're so slim and small.   
5. When a beau told me "pumayat ka" two years ago, his face looked sad. 
6.  After being jobless and having no money to buy the food I wanted to eat for a couple of months, I was jubilant with having secured a job finally that I decided that the extra money I was getting should be spent on my stomach's happiness. After all, my mom would just throw or give away the clothes, shoes, bags, groceries or things I buy, but when money goes straight to eating out, well, I am sure that she can't take it away from my stomach anymore. 
7.  If there's a sickness called anorexia nervosa, I'm probably the opposite. Always seeing in my mind's eye my beau's sad face with the words "pumayat ka", I always imagine myself to be the waif I used to be in earlier years so I always eat more recently. Finished with my meal? I will get a 2nd serving of rice or around 5 more "subo's" to eat with my potato chips. I think I have also adapted a post-holocaust era mentality after being unemployed for what to me felt like eternity, so my eating up is me assuring myself that everything's okay. "There, there...You will never go hungry again, poor stomach!" 

As I have this ongoing delusion where I felt I truly am slim no matter what I ate, it never really dawned on me that I was already gaining weight. And now, here's what led me to slowly believe I am in fact getting bigger (although I was in denial through most of them)

1. A short-sleeved blouse that has turned sleeveless.
2. Lately, I always feel soreness in my lower back and my bum just sitting at my desk in the office. I just pass it of as a sign of aging but later on I realize that it may be because I'm not used to bearing the extra weight I've gained!
3. Similarly, there were times in the past when I can stroll malls from 3PM - 8PM and I'll just get tired feet. But now I notice that just a few minutes' worth of walk can make my feet sore regardless of what shoe I wear, and I'll have no choice but to go home even if I still have lots to see. Could it be because I am now heavier? :( 
4. Washing my face one evening and then looking up at the ceiling to feel something new cushioning the back of my head: Surprise! I now have fatty skin folds on my nape! 
5. I went to fit a dress and when I looked at my naked body in the dressing room mirror I can notice all the bulges that weren't there before! 
6. Finally, I used to have a tape measure on my room's desk where I can easily use it any old time I wanted to know if I am gaining weight or not. But it had disappeared for years now and I always forget to ask mom about it. When I specifically asked my mom for it the other day, I got the surprise of my life when I found I am 4 inches more than my "average fat tummy" measurement. 

Love of my life, light of my soul.

Bituing Walang Ningning The Musical Review

I have always loved watching plays and musicals. That's why when a colleague scored VIP tickets and invited me to watch a musical with her on a week day at the Newport Performing Arts Theater, Resorts World Manila, I immediately said yes even if I usually sleep early on weekdays, the venue was far from home and I had no idea how to get home by myself late at night.

The musical was Bituin Walang Ningning, a rendition from the wildly popular original same-titled movie of the 80's starring Sharon Cuneta and Cherie Gil and featuring the classic line "You're nothing but a second-rate trying hard copycat!" delivered by the latter whilst emptying contents of her wine glass to the former's face. The story revolves around a sampaguita vendor girl who is a huge fan of a singing star but later on rises to singing star fame herself with the help of her singing star idol's manager/boyfriend who planned the whole thing to coerce his superstar girlfriend into settling down with him.

As someone born in the 80's, I'm always excited and nostalgic for anything throwback in the era when I was born so I thought it was the perfect way to celebrate Throwback Thursday last January 7.

Me with Auntie (Jon Santos) and Dorina (Monica Cuenco)

That's why I was glad that they did not try to modernize the movie into today's era but portrayed it in the 80's. The teased big hair and fishnet stockings of Cris Villonco (who played Lavinia Arguelles); the classic poster carrying and waving of fans, Kuya Germs and his entertainment show, and the adorning of sampaguita garlands on the celebrity idol's neck were all very 80's, not to mention the flashing of testimonials of approval to the rising star Dorina Pineda (portrayed by Monica Cuenco) from 80's music singers Basil Valdez and many others in the 80's.

Because I was used to watching plays and musicals with old-fashioned, constructed real backdrops, I was disappointed to see that most of the backdrops of the play were projected into the screen instead of the actual back drops, but at the same time it made sense since in today's era it would cut costs to do that instead of having actual backdrops so that the artists and talents can raise more money. Still I missed the old school, carpentered back drops of yester years.

Despite not having actual backdrops as I had hoped to see, all in all Bituing Walang Ningning the Musical was a pleasure to see. I understand how the Resorts World production team need to import the movie from another era even though there are lots of other telescripts and movies to choose from because the script featured the hardships of unrequited love and harboring feelings for someone who loves another person (Dorina loving Nico who loves Lavinia, Gary loving Dorina who loves Nico and Nico finally loving Dorina whom he thinks is in love with Gary), in other words a "hugot" or "feels" twist to the plot, which is very popular in today's generation.

Me with Gary (Ronnie Liang) and Nico (Mark Bautista)

Apart from the "hugot" twist to the plot, what made both the movie and the musical epic was the 2 songs featured in the original movie composed by musical genius and fellow Aquarian Willy Cruz complete with heart wrenching lyrics and grand orchestra playing that can bring out the "hugot" and "feels"in everyone in the audience: the legendary "Pangarap na Bituin" and  the musical's hugot song offering, "Sana'y Maghintay ang Walang Hanggan". The musical also featured another Willy Cruz song sung by Sharon Cuneta that was not featured in the movie, "Kumusta Ka".

Basically, the difference between the movie and the musical was that the movie used popular English songs sung by foreign artists to be sang by Sharon Cuneta and Cherie Gil such as I Just Called to Say I Love You, I Can't Wait Forever, Total Eclipse of the Heart, etc. While the musical focused on OPM songs. Also, the theater version had more comic moments care of comedian Jon Santos (who played Dorina's auntie) and also featured punchlines delivered by the rest of the cast.

Regarding the quality of the talents' voice, the songs sung by Lavinia were not enough for me to fully appreciate Cris Villonco's voice. Meanwhile, I can hear a bit of the original Dorina (Sharon Cuneta) in Monica Cuenco's voice. Her voice can really go loud and powerful but there are times when it breaks a bit in the beginning although it goes full force in the middle. Of course her little inconsistencies is forgivable for a first timer in theater performances.

Even though I complained earlier about the projected backdrop for most of the scenes in the musical, I was quite happy with the backdrop they used for the two main scenes of the musical where Dorina Pineda sang "Pangarap na Bituin" and the stage was dimmed and suddenly filled with twinkling stars. They also made her wear a white dress that made her stand out in the dark night of the stage, and the long skirt of her dress was spread around her as she stood on top of the stairs while patterns of stars lit up and danced around her skirt to illuminate her in total Diva/Flores de Mayo Sagala/Star of the Night fashion. If the first main scene featured real looking stars from the skies, the final scene where she once again sang "Pangarap na Bituin" with her idol Lavinia had the stage filled with glamorous huge star-shaped headlights, much like the ostentatious, flashy stage backdrops of TV shows and performances in the 80's such as Loveli-Ness showdowns.

But even the flashing of the huge stars in the background did not stop me from tearing up as Dorina meets her idol on stage to give a touching dialogue and to hang a sampaguita garland on her neck just like old times.

Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens Movie Review

When news about an upcoming Star Wars movie started to dominate my FB newsfeed, I started asking friends if they want to watch it with me, along with a guy I liked. Everyone said no. The crush said yes but cancelled out later on. But then asked me to watch it with him several days later, saying that he already got free tickets for it. Of course, I said yes. :)

My comments:

• Soundtrack-wise, it sucked.  I was hoping for a grand musical score with thundering orchestra playing that will make me feel chills and remind me of Starwars movies of the past, but to my disappointment, the background music was really downplayed and there was just "pasundot-sundot" hints of the majestic soundtrack. Know when your mind is preoccupied with something and you unconsciously start doing something as a result (like nail-biting or tapping your feet? The music was exactly like that, as if it's being unconsciously played in the background in a dreamy haze and really not important/part of the scene. 

•  No CCTV? At the part where Rey escaped and she was being hunted down by the Storm Troopers, I wondered how come there ain't no CCTV in the Dark Side's base when Hans Solo has it in his ship? Does that mean Hans Solo has more money? Lol! 

• Bar Owner Maz Kanata reminded me of something. Excuse me for those who are eating but Maz Kanata's eyes reminded me of something, specifically at the scene where she took off her glasses to get a better view of Rey's eyes. Can't help but think that her squinting eyes look like a**holes. Sorry!

I can't get over the soundtrack not being great because for me music is one of the most important facets of a great movie, so I'm only giving Star Wars The Force Awakens 3 out of 5 stars.  

Only Binay Political Campaign Ad Jingle Inspiration

Guess which jingle had been basis for the "Only Binay" political campaign ad jingle?

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