Tha Adventures of Migraine Gurl
Today, I’m more embarrassing than usual. I wuz havin’ one of ma migraine attacks in school, and a migraine usually means throwin’ up for me. Since tha CR janitress banned us from gettin’ into a cubicle fo’ fear of trackin’ mud onto her newly swept floor, we were forced to cram at tha entrance and stare stupidly at tha mirror while her floors dried up. And so three gurls watch’d as I made gagging noises at tha trashcan. One tall gurl in particular who met ma eye in tha mirror stayed and curiously watch’d and waited for me to empty tha contents of ma tummy. But just as suddenly, tha moment pass’d. Convinced that tha migraine pill ma friend had me take wuz fin’lly workin’ its wonders, I walk’d out wit tha contents of ma stomach still intact. But two minutes out in tha hall, I wuz feelin’ queasy again and so I ran back to tha john juz in time for tha tall gurl [who wuz still standing facin’ tha mirror] to triumphantly watch as I spitted out tha pinkish slightly digested migraine pill. Hell, she probably thought I’m havin’ a child. I diden give her tha satisfaction of knowin’ wut I had for breakfast though –that privilege went to maver twenty minutes later as I threw up undigested Burger King fries in tha car. [She came up wit a plastic bag juz in time.] Sick as I wuz, I hafta trudge along coz maver & paver already made plans to attend a bakery fair at tha World Trade Center. At first they plann’d to leave me at a booth that had lots of benches where I could pretend to be interested in learning how to bake from some German guy who wuz demonstrating how to bake. But ma back diden have sumthin’ to lean on, so I ask’d maver&paver to collect me & deposit me at tha far end of tha place where they serve overpriced food and they have matchin’ table-clothed tables and chairs so that I could eat lunch as well. Since each table had 8 chairs, I hafta sit wit a bunch of strangers. Tha first set of strangers was officemates –3 guys and a gurl. I tried not to listen but they were really loud like they were proud of their corny green jokes or sumthin’ and so I pretended to sleep instead. As they were about to go, I heard tha loud kikay gurl said, “Ay, nakatulog na siya, o!” I decided to try sleepin’ for real but ma bangle of fake crystals wuz startin’ to hurt ma forehead and so since I wuz alone at tha table, I stretch’d ma arm straight out on tha table before leaning on it sideways to sleep. I probably look’d like a drunk heifer for it wuz a while before a new set of strangers [two diff’rent families] sat at ma table. While I closed ma eyes, I felt and heard many things. I heard a gurl ponder over wut school I come from. [“Taga-ICA or ano..?”] I heard two women sitting on ma left giggle. I heard someone said, ”Usod ka na lang dito..” [probably evading my arm] I felt a plastic bag bein’ pushed against ma extended arm. I heard a son [probably 10-year-old] ask his mum for money for his food [squid and rice]. I heard a mother ask tha two women on ma left to try her carbonara which wuz supposedly tha restaurant’s specialty. Finally, I put an end to ma sleepin’ charade when I caught a whiff of wut smell’d like ma bro’s stinky socks, snappin’ ma head up in an attempt to find tha source and found each member of tha two families starin’ at me. To appear busy, I reach’d for ma half-eaten carbonara plate which I saw in a new light after tha PR talk I heard but tha fly on ma cup of Figaro hot choco made me wonder if it had been there on ma meal too so I changed ma mind and sms’d maver&paver to once again collect me instead. I think it wuz tha kid’s squid that smell’d like stinky socks.
***
After two consecutive days of postponement, I fin’lly had ma last oral thesis defense today. Good thang ma stubborn system retain’d some of tha 500 mg migraine pill so that ma head still hurt but not so that I feel like throwin’ up at Kiko tha adorable prof. And no traffic too unlike yesterday when I almost knew where I am and I wuz startin to figure out wut directions led to wut place [I, tha louse in all directions] becuz of too much traffic. And tha grade? Let’s just say that I’ve never seen a vertical line look so good specially right next in line wit its preceding vertical line which got there exactly a week ago.

I wish you’d stop haunting me. I wuz surfin’ tha net, browsin’ thru new blogs tha other day when tha site’s tagboard caught ma attention. It seem’d that tha site owner wuz YOU. Same day I click’d on tha third link of one of ma friends’ blog links and I wuz confronted wit a guy’s post about his friend named YOU.
Early mornin next day, I switch’d to a radio station and heard a certain cough commercial about a gurl who thought she loved some guy but changed her mind and got turn’d off by his cough. Can you take a guess at tha phlegmatic guy’s name? YOU again. I wuz gettin’ really miffed, and tha last straw, I thought wuz when I overheard a guy ask ma friend somethin’ in an office which I had no business enterin’ anyway. He went, “Is [YOUR NAME]’s article coming out this month?” So I scream’d “I HATE [YOUR NAME]!!!” at him –a total stranger who wuz co-owner of tha office I wuz currently trespassin’. And he wuz like, “Er…?” Til ma friend came to ma rescue and told him I don’t really mean wut I said & that I don’t hate tis guy who shared yer name and who happens to be a very nice classmate of ours.
I hafta go wit tha rest of ma mates for video editing later on. And I juz happen to browse a TIME magazine article by Mr. YOU Lenningrad. And guess where we had lunch today? Ma friend pick’d tha place. Good ole BRB in Dapitan. But a closer look, and it reads, “[YOUR NAME]’s” BRB. So you won’t even let me eat in peace. I know your name is common but not that common that I could see you everywhere.
***
Sorry, I can’t do reality.

Sorry, I diden plan on sayin’ goodbye to you tha other day. I plann’d on gettin’ along juz fine wit ya, tellin’ ya about tha bitchings I’ve done for tha day and maybe even finally tellin’ ya about past loves and past hurts I’ve avoided talkin’ about for so long. Sorry but I juz can’t take that li’l trick ya pull’d on me. Suddenly, when all seem fine, I juz can’t take you anymore.
***
Momma, stop worryin’. He’s gone.
***
Love is not easy. Why dya want easy love?
***
Happy birthday, Franz.. I wonder who's farin' off better between tha two of us?
***

I'm not choosy when it comes to jobs. Right now, I don't care whether it be a nine-to-five job, a job that has nuthin' to do wit ma course, or a job in Timbuktu as long as I land an immediate job that pays good and that has nuthin' to do wit bein' an annoying person in suit blockin' shoppers' ways in malls tryin' to get em to buy vacation trips or encyclopedias or sign raffle promos coz i've learn'd that THREE DAYS IN THA HOUSE WITOUT NUTHIN TO DO CAN DRIVE YOU INSANE.

It bett’r have classes tomorrow… I’m gettin’ fat sittin’ round tha house stuffin’ ma face full of tha chocolate toffee pistachio Tita Deng brought.
***
It wuz fun to have ma Tita Deng ‘round tha house for three days. By now, ma wide-eyed eight-year-old amazement at her had worn off to shy respect but as a kid, I used to really look up to Tita Deng. She wuz tha most beautiful and intelligent woman related to me that I’ve ever known & I wanted to be exactly like her when I grew up. As a young New York doctor, she is a wonder herself, and so it amazed me to know that she might be pregnant wit her first kid which is another wonder in itself. We were really excited about it especially since she hasn’t even told her husband yet, and so we were happy wit her. We were happy as ma maver giggled when Tita told her that she’s feelin’ very weird. We were happy as ma mum hurried home from church at night to check if she’s already sleepin’. We were happy as I tiptoed in her room early in tha morn so as not to wake her up. We were happy as ma maver jokingly told Tita to stay away from me so that tha baby wuden catch any resemblance from me. We were happy wit her about tha li’l buster growin’ inside of her and so we were also sad wit her when she ask’d me for a sanitary pad tis morn. Just hoped tha mall distracted her a bit from li’l buster.

You are not mine. You are a borrowed jewel left in ma hands by your owner who has got to go away for sometime. I’m returning you now. That doesn’t mean that I diden enjoy taking care of you. But you hafta go coz you’re not mine and you don’t feel like mine. Maybe she’ll let me keep you. Maybe I’ll accept. But for now you feel like a lost jewel that needs to be return’d.
***
Everyone has his or her own great person. I’m wonderin’ who or where mine has gone -tis great person who would be tha mortal person closest to me in tis world. I’m guessin’ that he or she is a person of the future –a daughter, a nephew, a grandson, or a sister-in-law. Ma great person could also be someone whom I know right now. Maybe it’s ma maver. But we are separated by too much layers of stubborn will and fightin’ back tha emotion to appreciate each other. Could it be ma grandparents? Sometimes I would like to give em a chance too, but sudden closeness just duzen seem right after too many years of polite courtesy and passin’ askin’ about each other’s health as conversation. It could not be ma best friend since fourth grade. She is not ma best friend any more for reasons I can’t tell coz betrayin’ an ex-bestfriend is almost like betrayin’ one’s self. Could it be tis close guy friend I have? I tell him almost everythin’ but I also know for a fact that half of tha time he doesn’t care, and tha other half of tha time, he’s playin his PlayStation or liftin’ weights or other thangs. Could it be one of ma school pals? But I don’t tell em evrythang either fo’ one might spill to tha others & they gon be laughin’ at me. Come to think of it, tha great person could be any of ma friends -i have a lotta great persons in ma life but wut fun is it to have a great person if you can’t be his/her great person too? Apparently, tis great person has not come to me yet. That or I juz need a best friend and/or a boyfriend. Mebbe I’m juz too bitchy to have these things. But half of tha time, I’m also nice. So, c’mon great person…
***
Is sumthin’ wrong wit wantin’ a boyfriend who duzen have a gurl bestfriend, and wantin’ a best friend who duzen have a boyfriend/gurlfriend?

For tha second time this month, I’ve gatecrash’d a wedding. How about that? And a Valentine wedding at that. I feel like a Peeping Tom, like an intruder who gets cheap thrills from snatching glimpses from other people’s happiness. But wut can I do? I’m a sucker for sappy films, sappy books, and sappy weddings, and I extract from ‘em tha same high I git from lookin’ at an assortment of cute bags and earrings on sale although I don’t cry at tha sight of a gorgeous bag.
***
I’m sorry I did not play by tha rules. I’m sorry I forgot that we’re juz suppos’d to be usin’ each other to ward off loneliness and past hurts that haunted us. I forgot that tha player who expects to win loses. And so I guess I’m tha loser. But you know how I hate losin’ …don’t you? And so I made you lose first. Of course, I knew that tha game diden matter much to you anyway.
***
My Kyun-woo, where are you?

Nuthin’ infuriates me more than a wishy-washy indecisive man.
***
Once there were seven Bad Wolves. They were known to be baaad but somehow two French poodles found em interesting, stoop’d down & decided to join tha pack. Tha first French poodle got bored and decided to switch to tha German Shepherd group, which she heard lead a more glamorous life. Now it’s juz tha 7 bad wolves & one French Poodle. “She’s such a dog anyway! She used to lick scraps from other French Poodles’ plates!”, tha bad wolves heard their French Poodle pal say. Although tha second French Poodle could speak English, most of tha time she preferr’d speakin’ in French. Tha Bad Wolves went on speakin’ English since it’s tha only language known to em. One day, tha remaining French Poodle wonder’d why tha bad wolves never spoke any French. As tha days pass’d, she got madder becuz tha Bad Wolves weren’t makin’ any attempt to enroll in a French school so that she could have someone to speak French wit. Although she diden suggest this idea to them, she feels that they shud have guess’d. She wuz also mad becuz tha Bad Wolves had their natural abilities to run & hunt for food. She cuden run as fast and she blamed tha Wolves for bein’ born Wolves instead of bein’ born a French Poodle. One day, she became mad as a bull in her frustration to run as fast as tha Wolves and since no Wolf enroll’d in a French Class yet. She told herself, “Quel dommage! Ce sont muet!” [Wut a pity that they’re so dumb they diden even try enrolling in French & so thoughtless not to rip off their genes and try to gimme some of it so that I cud be a Wolf too!] And so that day, she told em, ”Adieu, sots!” [Goodbye, fools!] and left a very puzzled group of Bad Wolves, who did not understand a word of wut she said.
***
Connect-tha-dots. Connect-tha-dots. Doh! Pea-brain'd brother disconnected tha wires to our winzip so that i can't listen to ma fav'rite CD! And all becuz he wanted me to hear his voice bein' aired as he join'd a stoopid radio contest he recorded on his mobile WHICH HE DIDN'T WIN ANYWAY! Now i hafta play connect-tha-wires, connect-tha-wires, connect-tha-wires... how am i suppos'd to know where they go? Connect-tha-wires, connect-tha-wires...
***
Gawd, people around me are so idiotic today!

Quite funny how I’ve master’d tha art of failing in love. Doesn’t matter much except when I think about tha future. Wut would become of ma children? Will I be good for em? Will they cry all tha time? I worry about them deeply because their mother ain’t tha brightest one in tha universe. Their mum is not keen on crossin’ streets and sewin’ stitches. Had always fail’d in keepin’ love. Future children, if I can’t keep your father, y’all better keep me, a’ite?
***
Found out two thangs today:
1] I like climbin’ monkey bars.
2] I like ridin’ bikes at top speed.
Fox, let’s do it again!

I am weak. I am not worthy. I am human. Walang himala! On this day, tha 11th of February, I went back on ma word. Eh fried chicken eh! ["Ok, pero next time talaga, pag di nyo ko pinayagan, d na talaga ako kakain tsaka sabi mo pa pinapayagan mo naman ako sa ibang event, masama sinungaling!”] Cud I have refused? When tha sight of another potato makes me hurl? When maver bann’d me from cookin’ ma own share of rice? [she said I shuden be wastin’ her gas cookin’ tha same thang she cooks fo’ all of us.] I decided I should just continue ma fasting another time, if tha circumstances call for it again. And it’s not workin’ anyway. Their minds are set. Their jaws are tight. And they were ignorin’ me like tha fool I am. Paver did try to bribe me twice [last Saturday and today] by getting’ me to go wit him to buy food from 7-eleven [he did not succeed], and buyin’ me a Slurpee [which I refused to take] but other than that and tha occasional frowns & snide remarks, I did not get anythin’. Nuthin’ I wuz hopin’ to get anyway. Ma average days of fasting is 3&1/4 days. It's not as if i cud not get through tha whole month wit ma fabulous cookin' too. Of course, naawa lang aco sa parents ko... i mean juz think about how many more Slurpees Paver hafta consume witin a month! d pa naman bagay sa kanya ang may hawak na Slurpee!

I’m not in tha mood for love right now. I’m still busy defying tha parental units. Can we postpone this? Stand back, don’t push it. You might git caught in ma web of indignation. I am tha unreasonable product of unreasonable roots.

In philosophy class yesterday, ma ears caught a certain term, which brought me to think about ma maver. Tha term -which wuz used to describe socialism- wuz “blind obedience”. For mum, there’s nuthin’ quite like bein’ in good terms wit God. She is prudish. She is self-righteous. She is insufferable. Knowin’ her, you’d know she used to be tis prissy, obedient & responsible gurl who looks down smugly on lesser beings like us and never break a rule in her life. She is greatly scandalized by tha littlest thangs and thinks it a mortal sin for a person to cuss. She’ll hate you for not giving more than 2000 bucks to tha church. She is also tha cheapest woman I know except when it comes to her mother, her son, and her God. How about her daughter? Well, sometimes, she forgets to give her allowance accidentally on purpose. And she is so narrow-minded you’ll have a hard time figurin’ out if she’s juz provincial or it’s her Taurean nature seepin’ thru. Come to think of it, ma paver is juz as narrow-minded. Only he doesn’t have his sign to excuse him. Pisceans aren’t known to be narrow-minded.
So wut if I’m piss’d at em? I don’t see how I could have grown to be twenty-one years old and still they trust me like a criminal or a stranger who’ll stay for tha night instead of a daughter they’ve known all their life who’s scatter-brain’d at worst. And lazy. And poor in direction. Okay, and insecure. And a bit gullible. But not a criminal.
Yeah, I’m on a hunger strike. I refuse to eat anythin’ cook’d by maver & I refuse to eat wit em. Wit ma knowledge in cookin’, I guess I’ll live on eggs & mash’d potatoes fo’ now. I’m goin for a month…Well if pam can live witout meat for a year, shoorely I can for a month wit ma own cooking, right? *crosses fingers*

Ma first job interview [Interview wit a vampire]

Armed wit a bank on wheels [paver] and a direction guru [ikot-happy chauffeur Raffy], I set out on ma interview confident that I’ll never starve nor be late for ma interview. Indeed after takin’ a quick lunch, I still had thirty minutes to sit and stare at tha mestiza ladies and nerdy guys who were all waitin’ to be interviewed. I also had tha time to glance at tha identical leathered toes of tha female employees & interviewees, then at ma own bare toes. As three of ma companions were whisked away, I became quite impatient & ask’d tha guard if he could send someone out to talk to. That’s when Cianelle, tha fashionable HRD came. Clipboard in hand, she told me these words: “YOU DO NOT HAVE A SCHEDULE TODAY!” “YOU DID NOT CONFIRM IT YESTERDAY!” I wuz like, “No, really?” and her face goes “Really!” “Maybe you want to set it another time…when would you like it to be?”
But miraculously, she found me a schedule for 2:30 tha same day.
And so tha interview ensued… tha interviewer, to ma relief, turn’d out to be gay. I thought it a relief since gay people are so much easier to get along wit. Tha interview lasted TWO AND A HALF HOURS! [We were vampires who dried out each other’s blood thru detail’d questioning and wide of the mark, stupid answering.] Long enuf for poor paver to git a stiff back from sittin’ outside & long enuf for him to send me four messages. [Antagal!]; [TAGAL!]; [Ano ba? Pinagtrabaho ka na ba dyan? Sabihin mo bukas ka na lang mags-start!]; [Aakyat na ako dyan!]Tha interviewer wuz really nice, only he won’t quit laughin’ at ma serious answers. I really wish he’d quit especially when merely opening ma mouth gets him roarin’ like a hyena again. Somehow I got tha notion that he wants me to pass tha interview, wit him bein’ an alumni of our school and also his perseverance in squeezin’ out tha right answers to queschns seein’ that ma answers don’t always match his queschns. But he could only do so much. I expect that I won’t see him nor tha already familiar fat guard in barong again. All I really wanted wuz an experience at gettin’ grill’d anyway. Who knows? I might actually git a question right tha next time.

Ang printer namin ay isang sumpungin na bata. Ayaw mag-print ng resumé ko. May kakaibang ngitngit na lumalabas sa kanya habang nagsusumamo akong gumawa siya ng kahit na isang matinong kopya man lang para sacen. At ang ingay pa! Balita ko sa paver ko, may daga daw sa computer room.. di kaya may naipit na bubwit sa loob ng printer namin? Samantala, ang buong computer naman namin ay isang suplado na gawain ang lagi na lang akong kutyain at huwag patapusin agad pag may trabaho akong dapat gawin na kailangan ang tulong niya. Ewan ko ba! Layunin ata ng supladong ito sa buhay ay ang huwag akong patulugin...

"Landslide by Smashing Pumpkins"

I took my love and took it down
I climbed a mountain, I turned around
And I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill
'til a landslide brought it down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing cause I've
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too
I'm getting older, too

I took my love and took it down
I climbed a mountain, I turned around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hill
The landslide brought it down
The landslide brought it down

Tha researcher is fed up wit makin’ revisions. Tha researcher has no plans for further study. Tha researcher is movin’ on. Tha researcher is finally gettin’ a life again.

ThAnK GoD! i’M doNe…!!! tHaNk gOd! I'm DoNe…!!!

So long,thesis!

I woke up at 8am to screams of panic from the neighborhood, and ma 5’11 bro hovering over ma bed…
BRO: “May sunog! Daliiii…!!! Malapit sa’yo!” [“There’s a fire! Quick! It’s near your room!”]
ME [somewut amused]: “Sunog? Eh kapitbahay lang natin bumbero!” [“Fire? But we have tha firemen for our neighbors!”]
At which point I tried to close ma eyes again. Ma big bro is known fo’ trippin’ on me. most probably tha fire he wuz talkin’ about wuz miles away from us. But when maver told me to hurry, that’s when I started gathering things.
The First Thangs I Gathered In Tha Fire:
1] money & tha thesis that wuz due today.
2] tha Jergens lotion, milk bath , and deodorant in front of me. [in ma confusion, I grabb’d tha 1st thangs that came to view..]
3] ma school bag, ma favorite tops, ma diary & tha books I’ve bought which I haven’t read all went in a big yellow SM Supermarket plastic bag I found lyin’ around.
4] 4 pairs of jeans, a set of school uniform, 6 undies, and ma tape recorder which I found amidst ma undies were placed in ma Coca-cola bag along wit a dictionary & a thesaurus.
5] things I’ve borrow’d from ma friends: ruth’s Gone With The Wind and pam’s Picture Perfect vcds.
Maver stared at me as I emerged from tha house carryin’ a plastic bag wit wut I thought wuz relief to see her only daughter alive and not consumed by flames. Wrong. “Ano ba yan! Bat ganyan ang hitsura mo? Nakakahiya sa kapitbahay! At bat dyan mo nilagay ang mga gamit mo? Ala ka bang bag?! [“Could you have dress’d any worse than that?”} she ask’d, starin’ at ma disheveled hair & tha 2 big holes of tha old P.E. shirt I slept in which exposed ma shoulders. [“..And why’d u put your things in a plastic bag? Don’t you have any bags?!”]
A minute later I found her cryin’ over an altogether diff’rent reason...
MA: “Pano na ang pangkabuhayan natin? Dito lang tayo nabubuhay!” [“Wut will we live on?”] she cried, referring to our house, which is also home to 40 ladies and is our main source of income.
Tha house next to us wuz already cover’d in a thick fog. To make things light, I ask’d bro to take out his Cyber-shot-U to capture tha moment. Only, he can’t locate it. Meanwhile, Aling Melba & Aling Lorna,our good-hearted neighbors were already volunteerin’ to help us wit our things. Ma brover had already started disconnecting computer wires & wuz about to carry it off when mum told him to juz leave it alone & that we'll juz git another one.
An hour later, it wuz all over. An AM radio announcer announced that “tha fire in Sta. Mesa is mapping out and under control.”
Whew. Told em not to worry. I could’ve been burn’d alive too. Well, serves you right fo’ leavin' me… Wait, scratch that! I sound narcissistic! Of course I wuden have burn’d! I knew bettr than to sleep through a fire. And anyway, I have no plans on dyin’ today!
Sad thing ‘bout our neighbors’ house... their whole upstairs burn’d. Not tha house next to us, but tha 2nd house from us. Good thang no one wuz hurt although tha young lad sleepin’ in tha upstairs room got trapp’d beneath tha bars for a moment. The slipup? Faulty electrical wiring, of course.

An explanation of wut i've been lately by Chris:
Look to the audience. If there isn't one, beware. If it's you, unamaze yourself. Disenthrall. Whatever it takes. Or else you're going down, for good, and the waves will close silently over you, a tribute to her bountiful care and kindness. Her unparalleled, unquestionable beauty. The modern term is narcissism. From next to nothing, we construct a world, a world in which we are esteemed.Supremely. Without question. Unconditionally. That's what we want.That's what all of us want when we're two years old. Some of us don't get it. Some of us learned to compromise. Ambiguity, slop in the system, neglect, disorder. Life. Genuine acceptance. But there's another kind of "acceptance" which is supplied by others. Proffered willingly, love. Dangled as bait, desire. Doesn't matter. Makes no difference. All is taken as food. As fuel for an esteem of self that becomes an inverted religion. Disguised as spirit, a hunger so dark it remains forever hidden. So sealed, it admits nothing but itself.

Suddenly by Soraya

A thousand eyes lookin’ at me
But yours is the look that goes right through me
And I cannot hide from your stare
Should I let you win? Do I dare?
Some other hands have tried before
But yours is the touch that makes me want more
Cannot hide the urgency
To have you right here with me
Cause suddenly in my life
There’s something that’s got me mystified tonight
Cannot fight it but I can try to keep the wonder of it alive
A thousand words have tried to stay
Yours are the one who never fade away
I cannot hide from this sound
I am mesmerized feelin’ round and round and
Some other hearts have tried to steal mine
Yours is the one that I hold dear
I’ll do what it takes to keep you here
I’m a selfish fool but I have no fear
A thousand times I’ve tried to stay
Alone by pushing you away
Time after time, tear after tear,
Find myself back here with you
A thousand visions have come to me
Promising serenity
As we struggled to find a source of this peace
Always end with your kiss

Catch a feather and make a wish..
Wut'z ma birthday wish?
To take these unexpected wounds
And fake ma own healing
Wut does pain look on me?
I who live in novocain.

Ano ba' yan! Alas sais na pala, d paco natutulog. Happy Birthday to me. Cheers. . .

Bein' afraid of commitments is so clichéd! I'm not. But no one tries hard enuf...

My Character Analysis From A Stranger:
This from a guy I chatted in ICQ wit for 30 minutes: ur a very naughty girl and entertaining one & seem 2 dislike men. u seem to have a lot of guts for a girl, and persuasive and menly[?] and annoying and hirap ligawan and dependent and u want the world to revolve on you, u toy with us but inspite of ur character ur a sweet lover and a thoughtfulll[triple "L"?] one.
Wuz not even hitting on him, i merely ask'd where he goes to school when he said: dami mo personality ha kita ko rin sayo na sobrang lambing mo bawasan mo yan
And finally,this when i merely reminded him that he should click "send" and not "enter" to send his messages: childish mo talaga
Ang tindi mo, tsong! You're not even interested in astrology and malayo naman course mo from psychology...I mean you're a guy and you're not dense! Wish half tha world would pay attention like ya do...

Got # 3 on ma list… Thanks, Santa! =)
18 songs all in all. Tha burn’d CD contain’d songs I specifically ask’d for like:
1] Don’t Speak by No Doubt –this song reminds me of ma second year high school days when I wuz infatuated wit a boy call’d Jed and when Gwen Stefani wuz ma absolute goddess.
2] Comfort In Your Strangeness by Cynthia Alexander –no specific reason except I juz really dig this song, spesh tha violin.
3] Suddenly by Soraya –an easy listenin’ song that chills ma mind.
4] Need To Be Next To You by Leigh Nash –this song wuz a fave when I wuz in 2nd year college & I cut a class wit a friend, design’d a huge banner for her, and sneak’d into tha empty dorm of her boyfriend where we decorated his and a certain miserable person’s room and taped tha banner I made professin’ ma friend’s love fo’ her guy where he could see it before slippin’ back to school. t'was on V-day when ma own luvlife suck’d.
5] Each Time by E-17 –this song gives me good vibes. also reminds me of someone I met in college named Raniel whose fave song it is.
6] Swallowed by Bush –a song by my former goddess Gwen’s god Gavin who also became my temporary male god of music. it also reminds of an era when men sported danglin’ chains from their pants everywhere you look’d.
7] Hey Hey by Tonya –an LSS –infecting fast song.
It also contain’d:
8] Come Away With Me by Norah Jones –i prefer “Don’t Know Why” but sumthin’ went wrong wit tha copy Santa burn’d. At least it’s a song of tha same artist.
9] Buses and Trains by ? –i diden ask for this one but I liked it juz tha same.

Newspaper reporters are corpse flies. Not only do they lie, they also prey on the misery of others. ->Margaret Atwood
***
Back To You (thesis)
Bat ganon? Parang andali ng chapter 5 ng thesis ko? Bat parang ang iksi ng 11 pages ko kumpara sa makakapal na tinitingnan ko? Bat ganon? Kumonsulta pala si Santa Susvilla sa isang libro bago sya gumawa ng survey questionnaires? Bat walang nagsabi sacen? Pano na yan? Inimbento ko lan ang mga tanong ko sa survey! At bakit ganon? Nangdaya rin ba si Joiz sa pagbibilang nya ng mga sagot ng makita niyang parang kulang ang ibang sagot? {mga panelists at adviser, lumayo-layo sa websayt ko!} Bat parang hindi mukhang totoo ang thesis ko? MALI YATA!!!!! Paktay!
***

Wut to do when ya hafta temporarily disconnect coz sumone's gotta use tha fon:
Click on pammy. =) Nominated once as tha blogger wit tha longest posts, shoorely, ya won't run outta thangs to read! [juz take a look at her scrollbar for proof] Atta Gurl P, we miss ya!
***
Among one of tha first thangs I did in 2003:
1] ordered a vegetable in an expensive restau.
->found out spinach could actually taste good. [tasted like cheese] i guess any vegetable could taste good provided they are drown'd in some flavor til they don't taste anythin' like their real taste no more..
2] took a pre-employment test for a job that have nuthin' to do wit ma course.
3] tried to copy math test answers from ruth.
4] discover'd a like fo' answerin' flowchart tests.
5] did half of ma homework.
6] consumed half of tha ink of ma fave pen.
7] cursed a certain professor for makin' me consume ink of fave pen.
***
I really don't get how ma maver can tolerate her fave soap opera [Habang Kapiling Ka]. They play'd tis terrible overly dramatic background music they play at every single scene which makes ya think of final confrontations between tha antagonist and tha central character of tha story when in fact tha maid is just combing her hair.

Tha Perils Of Bein’ a Bunso
1] no one takes you seriously. [i’m serious.]
2] ya git mocked for yer efforts.
3] evry’un laughs at ya.
4] ya oftn git ignored.
***
Diden know how I got tha clan together in tha car and diden know how I got em at tha hotel yesterday but I did and I don’t wanna talk no more ‘bout how when I tried to convince maver to git tha family to go wit me to tha mall, she juz went right ahead and slept; nor do I wanna talk ‘bout how she wuz jolted from her sleep when I fin’lly told her we’re goin’ to a hotel fo’ tha night, laugh’d her wits off, tried to sleep and then laugh’d some more til she told paver and then both were in hysterics; and neither do I wanna tell ‘bout how ma clan pretended not to know me ten feet away til I settled tha deposit wit tha receptionist of tha hotel.
***
I diden like tha orange light of our room. I diden like their sneaky way of chargin’ supposed to be complimentary [accdng to their pamphlet] local calls. I diden like tha shampoo. I diden like how they diden provide mouthwash or toothpaste. I diden like tha pretentious look of tha hotel’s restaurant. I liked tha bathtub. I liked their breakfast. I liked tha cleanliness of our room. I liked tha weighing scale. I liked tha hairdryer. I liked tha scroungy plastic thingy you put on your head. I diden like missin’ tha chance to use tha pool/sauna/gym but then that wuz entirely our fault.
***
You can call it Christmas week if you like, this span of days between Christmas and New Year's Day. But in New York City, this in-between season is really New Year's week. It has all the human frenzy of the days before Christmas but none of the pressure of a Santa Claus deadline. The clock is still ticking relentlessly, but toward a new holiday denouement.
In this in-between week, the main event is just trying to get around with your self-importance intact. It will come to a standstill tonight, when all eyes stare upward, when everyone gives up and gawks. -->anonymous

Tha Logic Behind Posting On This Blog
Why do I keep on postin’ anyway? Truth is when I’m away from tha computer, I’d be thinkin’ ‘bout tha last thing I posted, and I’d go Urgh! Can’t believe I’ve really posted that trash! Must cover it up immediately! And so wut I do is keep on pilin’ more trash on top of another hopin’ that tha latest trash I’ve posted wud at least be a wee bit bet’r than tha last one.
***
I wuz badtrip yesterday coz I wuz expectin’ to spend tha day wit ma friends at Enchanted Kingdom but found out I can’t go at tha last minute. So instead, I spent tha day readin’ homework which wuz about havin' to deal wit men whose melted eyes are pourin out of their sockets and graspin' a hand only to have tha owner of tha hand’s skin slip away towards ya. [fun, ain’t it?] Anyway, I spent tha rest of tha day tryin’ to steal clothes from ma rents’ cabinets so that I could pack somthin’ for em for our big overnight trip today. I keep on comin back to their room coz I’ve no idea where to locate some of their clothes like undies and stuff and once, maver entered and caught me diggin’ in her cabinet and ask’d wut’z up and I juz grinned foolishly and got tha hell outta there.
***
Wut Ma Christmas Wuz Like
I believe I haven’t posted anythin’ ‘bout Christmas and so I think I will. Ma Christmas wuz spent wit me and tha rest of ma cuzins pickin’ on our youngest cuzin Trixie aged 10. Twaz really easy to pick on her coz most of tha time she’s such a brat and always throwin’ tantrums. For instance, she told ma maver and paver that she wanted 3 gifts for Christmas, and so we did. Guess wut she did when she finish’d openin’ all three of her gifts? Tha ungrateful li’l imp cried and complain’d coz she got 3 dresses and she want no clothes for Christmas. That’s just tha way she is and we love her by teasin’ her and so I told her not to worry for we’d be givin’ her tha bra she really wanted next Christmas. Wut Trixie hates most is to be told that she already needs to wear bra, and so she scream’d insults at me. Later as I wuz discussin’ skin whitening myths wit ma 2 other gurl twin cuzins, one of tha twins suggested takin’ a look at our 10-year-old cuzin’s armpits to see if her none-usage of deodorants had made her skin fairer than ours and again she threw a fit. She twisted and thrashed when we were within inches of her, and wud rather lie on tha dirt –good clothes and all- than have us take a look at her ‘pits. It came so that I began takin’ pity on her and almost told ma younger cuzins to stop but then she kick’d me hard on tha shin, and anyway used to be that I’m tha cuzin bein’ pick’d on by older cuzins so I let em be. She also seem to be enjoyin’ all tha attention we’re lavishin’ on her, our youngest kin.
***
Got ma eyes a bit swollen yesterday from pleadin’ fo’ tha rides I’ll miss wit tha rents. Good thang I bought ma’self this novel li’l toy I found at tha mall. It’s a soothing eye mask [or so it says] which I bought for 44 pesos. You put it in tha ref for an hour and then you strap it on yer eyes. I think I’ve seen Jackielou Blanco use somthin’ which looks identical to it on TV which she strapp’d off her eyes tha moment she wuz suppos’d to be wakin’ up. Partly tha reason why I bought it. But I think maybe mine is not tha real deal. Coz when I took mine off 20 minutes or so, I open’d ma eyes to a foggy world. But then, when ya think about placin’ a glass of water on tha ref, it does tha same thing doesn’t it? I mean tha surface fogs and becomes thick wit moisture. Anyway, ma vision only fogs after tha first two minutes, it clears up eventually… but if soothin’ eye masks aren’t suppos’d to be that way, someone tell me, a’ite?
***
Juz watch’d “What Lies Beneath” yesterday, and I could see a few loopholes of tha story. [like how could George Harrison become bloody when no one hit him, and how’d he reach tha stairs when he’s injured and why would he be so bent on killin’ his wife when he lov’d her and earlier saved her from death] Anyway, I’m okay wit it because like in tha Ring, I’ve figured out that a scary movie hafta have loopholes. Otherwise it wuden be scary if it were logical.
***

Tha Christmas Gift
Som’ time in November, I dream’d up this plan of gettin’ a gift that can’t be bought in stores fo’ ma clan. [bratty bro included] I wanted som’thin’ solitary yet grand for all of us to share. But I ain’t buyin’ em no appliance no more for ma bro’s gift of hot grillin’ device last year is still collectin’ dust while ma gift of two years ago [cordless phone] had barely reach’d a year of use before they banished it to a cabinet where it is now gatherin’ its own dust. And so I came up wit tha idea of an overnight for four in a hotel. Cute. But where? Wit it bein’ a holiday and all, I started ma yellow pages-thumbin’ wit …
Holiday Inn: P3,000 for 3 persons
Ma friend liked it here…
Dusit Nikko: P3,000+ [diden quite catch it] for two kids and two adults
I remembere’d likin it here so…
Oakwood: P8,000 [Huwhaaat??] I stopp’d listenin to tha details until I heard P10,000 [double Huwhaaat??!!]
Other hotels I found…
Hyatt: P3,000 on weekends and P3,500 on weekdays [or I think tha other way around]
Mandarin Oriental: P2,900[Christmas Special]
Century Park: ? [Never got through tha 2nd operator, 1st operator transferr’d me to an endless ringing line]
Bayview: P2,460 wit buffet for two
And tha winner is… Mandarin Oriental. Tha “Christmas Special” phrase caught ma attention, plus tha operator wuz nicer to me. Tha “same price on weekends and weekdays” bit also got to me. I call’d again today & found out that tha whole thang actually costs P3,450. And so I have a date wit ma clan on tha 29th. I’m forcibly volunteerin’ brover as tha official driver. Hope I could pull it out. Hope tha ‘rents won’t protest if I start depositing em on tha car. Yeah..and I hope I could survive wit bread and water fo’ tha rest of ma days. Unless some hotel manager or any of that sort read this, take pity, and decides to gimme a discount on his hotel on tha same date.
***
After days of stalking, I fin’lly got to talk to ma thesis adviser. Probably fed up of ma harassment two days ago, he promis’d to call today. I also sent him a text message {Sir, tawag na kayo!} just to be sure. Here are bits of our conversation:
me: “Hello?”
thesis adviser: “Good afternoon, pwede po bang makausap…?” [May I speak with…]
me {interrupting}: “Hi, sir!”
thesis adviser: “O, si Sunshine na ba’to?” [Is this Sunshine?]
me: “Opo.”
thesis adviser: “O, kamusta na thesis mo? [How’s your thesis?] Merry Christmas.”
me: “Merry Christmas. Sir, kailangan po kasi may hypothesis ang thesis. Eh may naisip po sana ako...Yadda yadda yadda [I then proceeded explainin’ wut I plann’d to do wit ma thesis witout pausin’ to catch ma breath]
thesis adviser: “Ganito na lang, maghanap ka muna ng mga similar thesis ng journ tapos tingnan mo yung hypothesis nila and yung methods na ginamit tapos tsaka mo na lang ulit ako i-text. Kasi baka mabaril tayo sa defense pag hindi pala pede ang ginamit mong method.”
He actually said “tayo” as in “us”. Diden realize we’re on tha same side…that he’s on my side. All right! We’re a team!

Stephen Speaks fun fact: found out sumthin' about tha band that sang passenger's seat... turns out they got their name from tha words that one of tha band member [TJ] read on a billboard. The billboard supposedly read "Tonight, Stephen speaks". Supposedly, tha Stephen guy made a speech before he wuz stoned to death, thus givin' TJ a name for his band. [Heard this all from 89.9 TM]
***
Dear Santa List
1]get ma thesis done. [if not all, at least a chapter]
2]have Grimace tha mascot for a pet.
3]alternative acoustic version CD's.
4]lotsa great film VCD'S for ma movie illiteracy.
5]subscription to DSL internet.
6]gerbera flowers.
7]St. Marks and Spencer lingerie.
8]a certificate for a reading wit an authentic fortune-teller/palm-reader.
9]a full body massage at a good spa.
10]Haagen Daz ice cream.
11]an airconditioner for ma room.
12]bath oils.
13]books.
14]get someone volunteer to do tha flash animations i want for ma site for free.
15]Dulcinea pastries.
16]laptop or any computer as long as i don't hafta share wit ma bro.
17]rice wine.
18]Meiji dark chocolate coated almonds.
19]Yupi gummy candies.
20]Piscean boyfriend.
21]a good sense of direction so i could find ma way to places.
**note to Santa**: don't be sorry if you can't git 'em for me on Christmas. there is always ma birthday next month. =)

What Pattern Are You?

So wut if we diden make it to tha pre-employment exam? Pardner and me had a great time elsewhere. Glorietta wuz wit in walkin’ distance from tha block-rockin’ employin’ place. Havin’ a somewhat thick wad of mint wit me encouraged me to buy tha first cute pair of earrings I saw. Good thang we dunno where to go and wandered into a museum or I might’ve come home penniless wit g havin a sale and all. For some reason, Ruth seem’d really bent on goin and so we went. ‘Twaz a museum fill’d wit dioramas of Philippine history and we had fun makin’ fun of oversized cats, miniature people wit mongoloid expressions, and furnitures unproportioned to their owners. But we spent more time and had more fun at tha museum’s extension where we learn’d the basics of… sign language! ‘Twaz really kehwl coz aside from watchin’ how it’s done on tha computer screen, two deaf studes from Benilde really took time to teach us and make us get each hand signal right despite our retard learning skills. They were so nice that I felt like makin’ “kwento” and tellin’ ‘em that I have a deaf li’l boy cousin too –only I dunno how. I wonder if they understand and know how to gesture/writeTagalog since most books are in English –only I dunno how to ask. I also wanna ask how they made kehwl flash animations and if they could help me wit ma webpage. [Their skills such as web page design, animation, and art were also showcased on tha computer.]

I promis'd ma'self I will never post a song on this blog. Never post a...

On the 8th day of Christmas my baby gave to me
a pair of cloey shades & a diamond belly ring
On the 7th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a nice back rub and he massaged my feet
On the 6th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a crotch eye git with dirty denim jeans
On the 5th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a poem that he wrote for me

The the feelin' that I feel is so good
He makes me feel so in lo-lo-lo-lo-love
If he only knew what he does to me
My man, my man, my baby
Oh he makes me feel so lovely, so sexy
I'm so in lo-lo-lo-lo-love
How I love him for his generousity
My man, my man, my baby

Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels so lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (wooooooooaaaaaaahhhh)
Yes it feels like x-mas
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels so lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (the spirit of x-mas)
Yes it feels like x-mas

On the 4th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a candlelit dinner just me & my honey
On the 3rd day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a gift certificate to get my favorite CD's
On the 2nd day of x-mas my baby gave to me
the keys to a CLK Mercedes
On the 1st day of x-mas my baby gave to me
quality T-I-M-E

If it feels like x-mas
Yes it's x-mas
Bro's x-mas
Mom's x-mas
Dad's x-mas
Bro's x-mas
Feels like x-mas
Feels like x-mas

Farrah's x-mas
Beyonce's x-mas
Kelly's x-mas
mom's x-mas
dad's x-mas
bro's x-mas
Feels like x-mas
Feels like x-mas

...Well, Christmas is an exception.. ain't it? Wish co lan someone will gimme a CD certificate or kahit a poem for Christmas.

Gusto cong maglaba. Gusto cong maglakad ng mahabang mahaba.. mga tatlong kalye. Gusto cong maglinis ng bahay. Gusto cong gumawa ng kahit na ano basta pisikal -baka sakaling maalis ang mental strain & stress na dala ng aking mabait na thesis. Ayoco nan mag-isip. Aco na lan magpipintura ng bagong tindahan ni maver na tinatrabaho ng mga karpintero ngayon.

I will not give up on you, you stupid thesis, you! I refuse to let ya frustrate me in any way, in fact I frustrate you more! I will be done wit you in no time at all even if you're stupid and pointless and you don't wanna have anythin' to do wit me...

Haven't posted for days... To sum it up:
Monday:
VCD player is sick.

Wednesday:
Computer is sick.

Thursday:
Cellphone is sick.

And finally, out of boredom...

Tuesday:
I became sick.
***

Kathy, salamat sa pagpost nan lyrix nan passenger's seat. Dahil jan, kiss kita... mwah!
***
Oh, yeah.. Watch'd Swimfan last week too! Watch'd tha freakin' ugly Rosie O' donell look-alike kontrabida who must've been casted as a joke since me an' ma hommies don't git no real thrill outta tha movie.
***
Oh, yeah.. And 'twaz also last week when me an' ma paver had a row which induced him to push me outta tha car on to tha cement.
***
Oh, yeah.. And ma thesis adviser told me that ma thesis problem can't be solv'd & that it shud have no hypothesis. And I'm suppos'd to submit ma revised pointless, hypothesis-deprived thesis to him.
***
Oh, yeah.. And someone just randomly appear'd and icq'd me askin' if i have big tits. {I said I suppose I've been receivin' compliments since ma big sex change operation}
***
And I enjoy ma life so much.

Bird droppings on ma arm, a broken nail, ice cream stains, and tha bottom of a pen missin'. Definitely not one of ma luckiest days...
***
Ma fingertips feel new to me again now that i've cut ma nails to even their length to tha newly broken one. It's as if they regained their sense of touch after bein' stationary for so long cooped under ma long nails. I also hafta stop holdin' thangs and arms wit tha very tips of ma fingers which i often do to make space for ma nails, and in tha case of holdin' ma friends' arms, so as not to hurt them. On tha other hand, i can't open soda cans and I can't scratch their palms for em anymore. Well, at least I could properly enjoy eatin' greasy finger foods again.

HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SEAN!

HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND!HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND! HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mA bEsTfRiEnD! hApPy BiRtHdAy To Ma BeStFrIeND!

Grabe! Pare! Twenty-two ka na!

happy birthday, old boy sean! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLD BOY SEAN! happy birthday, old boy sean! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLD BOY SEAN! happy birthday, old boy sean! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLD BOY SEAN! happy birthday, old boy sean! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLD BOY SEAN! happy birthday, old boy sean! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLD BOY SEAN! happy birthday, old boy sean! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLD BOY SEAN!

Okey sana dahil birthday mo… Kaya lang sana magpakain naman!…

happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday! happy boithday!

mAnLiBrE kA nAmAn!!!

Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit!

MANLIBRE KA NAMAN! Yehey!!!
Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit! Matanda ka na! Happy Birthday Ulit!

-=Tha Unkind Cat=-
I have 7 pet dogs, 6 pet cats that have about 20 pet fleas each, 3 pet roosters, 2 pet fishes, a pet lobster, and a pet rabbit. But ma fav’rite pet is Pikachu tha orange cat although I’m not sho’ if I’m his fav’rite master too. He is an okay cat. Some say the cutest. I’m not speakin’ to him today, though. Pikachu had been a bad bad pet lately. He been doin’ some pretty mean thangs to me recently. Me who rescues him from big bro’s kicks an’ me who likes him best. Wut Pikachu done is gone and went to cat heaven witout tellin’ me on a Monday morn. Ants had already gathered to feed on helpless Pikachu’s beautiful eyes which were frozen into a blank stare when I found him. Pikachu, tha cutest cat in tha world had gone and died on me. Had not even been sick tha previous day. How could a sweet cat be so unkind?

*Tha Attack of tha Unknown Mean Behind*

Yesterday, at our public relations class, we poor souls at tha back got our noses offended by a foul smell. ‘Twaz clearly a diarrheic smell and we look’d among ourselves to find tha culprit. Such a crass gas emitter should at least look a bit flustered. But tha faces starin’ back at us gave nuthin’ away, and so we resumed takin’ down our notes. Not five minutes had pass’d when another attack stank up tha air-conditioned room. Noses covered, we started speculatin’ on who tha stinker might be. “Baka naman sa kabilang room galling yon!” [Maybe it came from the other room], Patwee said, referrin’ to tha other class which wuz separated from us merely by a dividing window while Lucas said “Hinde, malabong sa kabila manggaling yon dahil anlayo naman nila.. ibig sabihin sa journ lang talaga galling yon!” [No, they’re seated too far apart from us.. which only mean that it came from journ –from us!] Someone else said that maybe it wuz Tanchee, tha guy to Gabby’s left for he had not been covering his nose during tha attacks [“Siguro si Tanchee yon, mukhang sya lang ang di nakakaamoy eh!] while p.i.c. thought ‘twaz Lucas. [“Lucas, anobayan! lumabas ka na kasi eh!”] I had ma own suspects but I refuse to post their names on this blog out of courtesy for ‘em. I even half-kiddingly suggested checkin’ out everyone’s behinds for stains to p.i.c. Were our noses ever reliev’d when tha waves of diarrhea plaguin’ tha mean ole farter stopp’d. ‘Guess he finally learn’d how to hold it in!

Santa is a fag?
Wuz listenin to Ernie Baron's "Knowledge is power" program on am radio [go praise our driver for his fine choice of listenin] on ma way home from school today, and a young gurl called askin' about tha origins of Santa Claus. Ernie started by makin it clear to tha gurl that Santa ain't nuthin but a myth. ['guess he thought twelve-year-olds still believe in santa] He said that Santa came from St. Nichols from Netherland.. yadda yadda.. He ended by sayin that old man Santa shuden be called Santa coz Santa is a feminine word. Baron then started havin' a debate wit himself whether Santa is a man or a woman. This fuss from a man who don't believe in Santa in tha first place. Go figure.
***
Tha Hall For All Purposes
Still on tha short but long drive home: pass'd by tha hall or court for all purposes. It's in EspaÑa right across tha street from Wendy's and KFC. Today, they decided to hold taekwondo lessons there. Other times, it's a funeral. Or a meeting of some sort. Or mass. Or streetkids playin' basketball. Other times it's taekwondo lessons like I've said. Made me reminisce 'bout ma taekwondo days.. *music plays as we go back in time* That time I wuz nine. Got bored wit tha jazz lessons paver wuz makin me take where i hafta demonstrate pointin' ma toes to other studes so i ask'd pa why don't i take taekwondo like bigbro. I endured til I got a belt. Only till yellow, tha belt next to white. I quit because I really don't fancy someone else's foot goin anywhere near ma face specially if 'tis a smelly one. Also don't think 'tis fair for tha instructor to be givin' me red-belted [fourth belt] guys for sparrin' pardners even if we were of exactly tha same size and even if he's polite and says sorry for every kick I receive. Dunno which wuz worse: havin' some air knock'd outta you via kick on tha stomach, or havin' to hold tha air you breathe while endurin' a kick on tha face.
***
Our new pup Corimao is slow, shy and sleepy no more! He wuz runnin like a mad dog when bro set him free from his cage and took him upstairs to us. Used to be he just runs a bit when he is taken from that smelly ol' cage of his. Bet it has sumthin to do wit his new collar wit mini bells. Think he loves listenin to tha noise he makes.

found out I'm worth $1,788,638.00 here.

Wut google thinks of me according to googlism here:
sunshine is lurking in tech's forecast
sunshine is golden
sunshine is delicious
sunshine is out in japan
sunshine is magic
sunshine is gonna get you
sunshine is a treasure a child will cherish forever
sunshine is by far the best late blight fungicide
sunshine is much different than what you might expect
sunshine is in need of a loving home in virginia
sunshine is an authority on breast feeding
sunshine is what mario 64 would have been like if shigeru miyamoto had less involvement
sunshine is finally complete and available in stores across the nation

awww… michael
***
Sa mga naghahanap ng “naked pictures of Carlos Agassi” na napupunta sa site ko: Pede ba? Konting taste naman! Asa pa kayong may makukuha kayo sa site ko! Picture pa! Eh di nga ako marunong maglink ng pictures!
***
Sa mga friends ko naman na nagpunta nitong nakaraang loyalty day sa old school naming SJA, ‘sensya na kayo, di ako nakapunta dahil ala ako sa mood, ala akong salapi, at baka laiitin lang ako ni Danielle dahil may pimple ako na katutubo lang.
***
As usual, iniwan na naman akong mag-isa ng mga kapamilya ko dito sa bahay. Punta daw silang Divisoria. Kung saan talaga sila nagpunta, ala na akong pakialam. [Ugali na ni maver ang di sabihin kung saan talaga sila pupunta para di na lang ako sumama at magbantay ng bahay.] Buti pa mga elementals! [hi, Lurecia]
***
Bat ganito tong iniinom kong Sunkist apple, lasang grapes?
***

I don't want you to be there for me. I want you to need me, dammit!

*Ang Makatang Lelang*
Unang pagtapak ko pa lang sa bahay ng lola ko kahapon, ganito agad ang hirit niya[Lola]: “Anong nangyari dyan?” {sabay titig sa suliranin sa pagitan ng aking mga mata} Ako: “Pimple po.” Humirit ulit ang lola ko at tumula ng parang ganito: “Pag-ibig na hindi maipahayag, sa mukha’y tagihawat, sa ulo’y balakubak, sa paa’y lipak.” -Hindi ko na kinaya yon,‘la!
***
Had an appointment wit ma dentist today in tha hospital where I wuz born. Haven’t been to a dentist for two years. Haven’t seen her for more than two years. Almost forgot tha smell of surgical gloves which I haven’t known I’d missed. Suppressed laughing again while she worked. Always had trouble sittin’ still. Or standin’ still. Or doin’ anythin’ still. She worked for an hour. Sealin’ teeth which had any signs of cavities. Wonder how she could handle not to laugh. Shoulda been harder for her to suppress gigglin’ than me -wut wit ma distorted open-mouthed face which distorts more as she scavenges around wit her dental tools. Wondered how ma nose –which distorts wit ma face- must’ve looked to her. T’was over soon. Told me to come back in April. Wut? No animal balloons for me this time? No reward for bein’ a good patient this year and for sittin’ still? Oh well. But that wuz some neat balloon you gave me when I wuz four. Even if I accidentally bit you. Thanx for workin’ on ma chompers, doc. =)
***
Got a new bruise on ma left knee. I am tha eternal table bumper.

I had a dream. In ma dream, I wuz a child again and for some unknown reasons, ma brover had mysteriously disappeared. Somehow, I needed to be assured that I’m an only child and so I kept askin’ maver over and over again if this wuz true, and each time her answer wuz yes. I wuz happy in tha dream because tha grown-ups have given me colored marker pens of all shades, and I also have a complete set of Crayola crayons. And then I wuz chasin’ other kids on tha grass and I realized that I wuz a poor, dirty street kid. This did not seem to surprise me, as if I’ve always been a street kid and I don’t care a bit juz as long as I have ma complete set of crayons and colored pens at home. Sometimes I wish I were a child again.
***
Sometimes, I have the habit of complaining about ma ex. I blame him for things that in reality had nuthin to do wit him and this is bad because friends begin to think I’m not over him yet. That he’s my “Mr. Big”. Someone I will forever love for treatin me like shit. Tha truth is I got over him long ago. There were others after him but I like blaming him. I like letting others think it’s him coz I can handle hearing how bad he is. Also, he wuz a fixture. Something certain in ma life. Certain becoz he wuz mine and so I had some rights to him as opposed to tha other uncertainties after him who doesn’t have ma rights to them and their rights to me. Like I don’t have tha right to criticize them or defend them to those who’ll criticize them. I mean I can but not as much as I’d want to without interfering personally which would otherwise be ok if they were mine. That’s why I’m pretty much repressed or I complain about ma ex.

Advantages of bein’ a homebody:
1) you get to wear polka dots wit plaids and brown wit blue any time you want to.
2) you save money you would’ve spent on transportation, eatin’ out, etc.
3) you easily disregard dog/cat hairs on your clothes.
4) you get fairer by stayin’ outta tha sun.
5) countin’ tha holes on yer mum’s duster dress serves as an amusement.
6) you could have a bad hair day everyday for all you care.

Disadvantage of bein’ a homebody:
1) you run & hide in tha safety of yer room pretendin’ to be asleep/away/sick when a visitor arrives.
***
I have tha habit of talkin’ in ma sleep sumtimes. That’s why when ma bro [who sleeps in tha other room] mentioned to ma ‘rents that I sometimes talk all by ma’self at night {“Ayan, nagsasalita mag-isa pag gabi”}, I dunno if he’s talkin’ about ma sleepin’ habit or if he’s teasin me about tha dropcall conversations I have wit a friend some nights.
***
Piss’d that he couldn’t watch his fave game shows, paver told maver that I wuz watchin’ an X movie. He went,”Ya, o! Nanonood ng bold!” {Come here quick! She’s watching an x-rated movie!} to ma mum. Funny how we Filipinos refer to scenes that feature naked or semi-naked human beings as “bold”. The vcd I wuz watchin’ wuz Pam’s Picture Perfect vcd, and tha scene paver wuz referrin’ to wuzn’t even a sexy scene. ‘Twuz Jennifer Aniston when she wuz lyin in her bed alone talkin’ to Nick who wuz in a diff’rent room. Tha scene didn’t even suggest that they might be goin’ to bed anytime soon. And Aniston wuz juz wearin’ a regular nightgown. There were more appropriate scenes when ma paver could’ve complained. Like when Jennifer wuz in bed wit Kevin Bacon. Or right at tha start of tha movie when Jen wuz about to do it wit a guy in her living room. Guess I should be thankful paver didn’t see those. It wuz a pretty good movie wit tha right amount of sap romantic movie suckers like me enjoy.
***
We have a new pup. Ma bro’s gf gave him to us. Its face is black so that we can’t quite distinguish where his eyes are –which are also black. Paver gave him a bath today after brover took one whiff at him and said that puppy is “amoy saging” [has a banana smell].
***
Found out that ma Chinese name is Xun Xuan Nuo. Wanna get yours? Then go!

P. and G. had been bloggin’ about unexpected visits and appearances lately, and in the spirit of Halloween, I’ve decided to blog about mine today.Ma encounters wit tha unknown had so far been very limited. As an infant, ma bro told maver that a dwarf named Goldie, who is ma bro’s playmate had apparently pinched me, inducing a high-pitched wail from me. This, as you could see, is not a very convincing story since it is most likely that ma bro is just passing the blame for his infancy abuses on me. As of now, I had no memories of that occurrence whatsoever. I had always heard stories about tha spirits inhabiting our house. There’s that dwarf story of ma lunatic bro [Ma said he had a total of three dwarf friends named Poldo, Portia, and Goldie tha mischief maker.], Sightings of someone dressed in white by previous boarders and by our maid. Maver’s story of the invisible gate knocker. Ma aunt be-friending a white lady shortly before havin’ an epileptic attack. Ma cuzin complainin of bein’ tapped on tha shoulder while sleepin’ alone in.. (gulp).. this room. Another one of a different aunt havin’ sumkinda encounter in tha same room. Tha most recent one a week ago when ma woke up to discover someone hunched over in one of our sofa chairs. Me? Haven’t had any experiences so far until about a month ago when I heard 4 short, quick raps on tha wall in this room. Tha other side of that specific wall is an empty bodega room. And then earlier on, an experience about four months ago, around 3am when I suddenly heard a woman singing in a very lively and quite loud voice somewhere at ma left. I doubt it to be one of our boarders since no one could dare sing in that loud a voice at that ungodly hour in consideration of tha 44 other inhabitants all sleeping that night. I did not look for fear of wut I’ll find. Before that, I haven’t been getting even a peep from tha house spirits… Guess they took some time warming up to me first. What I think is that they reach me mostly in ma sleep, if not in person. The times when I get nightmares every night could be those instances. Ma dreams aren’t necessarily about ghosts and goblins. They vary, but they’re nightmares just tha same. I imagine that since we travel to tha third dimension when we sleep, they could easily join me and create ruckus whenever they want to. Just recently, after tha night-singing episode, I’ve decided to name tha house spirits. I’ve imagined there are three of ‘em in ma room. Spirits that are especially active at night in ma sleep. Two ladies named Lurecia and Gretch, and a guy named Drindl. Sometimes, when some of ma things get lost, when I just had a nightmare, and when I’m plain bored, I talk to them on ma mind. I figured out that since K mentioned sumthin’ about talkin’ to spirits bein’ dangerous, then it should not hurt to talk to ‘em in ma mind. [after all, spirits can’t read minds, can they?] I just hope they don’t read blogs. I imagine Lurecia to be tha one who’s fond of me, tha one who sorta protects me if she can help it, and Gretch to be the wretched one, kinda tha one who makes all nightmares possible. Maybe she’s tha one whom Lurecia protects me from. Drindl would be the passive one. Someone who’s barely not there. {Oh.my.gawd. I have turn’d into tha kind of lunatic person who had elves for friends!} I’d like to think I have not. All three spirits are figments of ma sembreak mode brain. It is just, after all, an attempt to name tha nameless.
******************
Love these songs.

Ma brover as we were walkin’ home from church: “Parang gusto kong kumanta. Gusto kong kumanta sa harap ng maramng tao!” [I feel the sudden urge to sing in front of a big audience.]
g.f.: “Eh di kumanta ka ngayon!” [Why don’t you try singing now?]
me: “O kaya kanta ka sa videoke bars! [Or try going in a video bar.]
bro: “Hinde, gusto ko yung may nagda-drums. Sa isang special t.v. show, hinde lang sa videoke bars. Matagal ko nang gustong ilabas tong special talent kong to eh!” [No, I wanna sing someplace where someone would play the drums to my singing, like in a special t.v. show. I had waited so long for this moment to come when I could unleash this special talent of mine.]
bro{upon becoming aware of his g.f.’s doubtful looks casted on him}: “Ano, wala ka bang tiwala sa talent ko?” [Don’t you have faith in my talent?]
g.f.: “Wala talaga!” [Not an ounce!]
**************
Ang kyot ng alaga naming chicks -->they're startin' to grow crowns except dun sa babaeng chick.. three are male chicks. only one is a female. The chicks are acquired by ma bigbro and ma cuzin when they went to MegaMall last month. [Givin' away chicks seem to be a promo to sell a specific brand of chicken feed, sumkinda have-a-free-chick-and-buy-our-product-to-keep-the-chick-alive gimmick.] I won't even attempt to link an image of any chick coz hinde talaga aco marunong mag-link ng pictures or images! Chamba lang yun sa Ericsson sa baba! *Ugh*
**************

Here are sum interestin search engine queries that lead to ma blog:
1)"is a fag" home high school.
2)ateneo cheer chant.
3)pam and erick's wedding pictures. [i have friends named pam and erick but they dunno each other!]
4)pictures of siopao.
5)axe deodorant pictures.
6)soleil aquino. [i know i once had a crush whose last name's aquino but i never posted about acquirin his last name!]
7)full name of carlos agassi. [now, who wud wanna know that?]
8)pictures of carlos agassi. [now, who wud want that?]
**********
Wanna make fights? Check this out!

There is such a thing as a white cockroach pala. Wuz about to take a bath tha other week when I came face to face wit tha albino “ipis”. Thought it wuz sumkinda butterfly at first. Didn’t want it in tha bath wit me so I scream’d and ask’d paver to take tha strange white insect away. Paver seem’d pleased wit it, and so he took out an old mayonnaise jar and lured tha white roach in. Then paver, brover, and me gathered to take a closer look at it. At closer inspection, we saw that it really wuz a medium-sized ‘roach. Ma brover marveled at how beautiful it is, even its li’l legs bein’ a white almost transparent color. Ordinarily, I get hysterical everytime I see a ‘roach but I’m willin to make a concession for white ones in jars. I think paver wanna keep it as a pet since he said it’ll bring us goodluck. And I thought I also heard him mutter sumthin about buyin’ a lottery ticket later on. He had put bits of dog food in tha jar for tha white ‘roach to feed on before securin’ tha jar’s lid –which had holes he drilled in so tha albino “ipis” cud breathe. Tha white ‘roach wuz only forgotten when we left tha house and went to an SM mall. T’waz night already when we return’d and paver had bought his lottery ticket and then we remember’d to check on tha white roach. We were horrified to see that it has turn’d into ordinary, disgusting brown color. “Kadiri! Pakawalan niyo na yan & patayin!” {Eew! Let it go and kill it!},were ma instant words at seein ma old enemy, tha brown ‘roach. But maybe paver thought that wouldn’t be fair [kinda like cockroach racism], and so he did not release tha ‘roach. But he did relocated tha jar to a forgotten place where it wuz outta sight. Dunno if tha poor discriminated creature lived, think our maid threw him, jar and all in tha trash. Found out one thing: I’m a cockroach racist.
*******
I stand corrected on ma last post... Lei did not kiss Leidy's bigbro Paul. She almost did. Sowee, lei!
******
Check out these phones which has GPRS. Ericsson T68 and Nokia 7210. So wut'z tha difference between phones which has WAP and phones wit GPRS? Well, according to ma mobile crazy big brover, while both connect to tha internet, WAP phones charge you even while you're in tha process of connectin', while GPRS don't charge you any cent at all so you could surf away all you like. Wit GPRS, you only git charged when you send e-mails. WAP= ma phone. GPRS= pammy's phone, brover's phone.

[Tha Post Dedikeyted To Ol Flips]
Lagnat. Sipon. Ubo. Kelan ba aco tatantanan ng mga mikrobyo? Pinakain tuloy aco ni maver ng apple na lasang singkamas. At kelangan ko na naman uling magpatak ng gamot sa tenga para di na sumakit. Alam ko reklamador aco. Buti na lang pede ko nang tigilan yun para sa ilong. Pati yung para sa bibig, di ko na muna kelangan kaya binigay ko na lang kay maver kase madalas syang magka-asthma. Reklamador talaga aco lalo na pag may sakit kase spoiled brat aco {sabi ni pi-ay-si}. Kahapon nga, galing kami ng church, eh anlayo kaya ng church sa bahay namin kaya labag sa loob kong maglakad pauwi. Naisip ko yun habang iniintay ko si maver magbihis before kami umuwi. Eh usually, binibigyan ni maver si brover ng pamasahe para di na siya maglakad pauwi. Bale, binibigyan siya ni maver ng pan-traysikel na pang-dalawa kase kasabay niya palagi gerlpren niya. [Isip: iintayin kong bigyan ni maver si brover ng pamasahe, pag binigyan niya, magrereklamo aco na ayoko ring maglakad, at mas may excuse aco dahil maysakit aco.] Kaso, hinde nag-alok ng pamasahe si maver kay brover dahil ala pala syang barya. Siyempre, nagpilit aco na sumakay pa rin kami {hingi pamasahe kay paver}. Ang init kaya non, eh tanghaling tapat yon eh! Mamaya, mahimatay pa aco sa init,diba?
******
Bakit ba lagi na lang may nag-i-interpretative act/dance ng "Baliw" {Sino ang dakila? Sino ang tunay na baliw?} at may nagsasayaw ng hawaiian {Pearly Shells} sa mga beauty contests?
******
[English ulet]
Last Thursday at Pammy's boithday pahtee, I've realized that I have a pretty strong threshold for booze. By midnight, leidy wuz throwin up in tha john, ma pardner in crime wuz gettin pink in tha cheeks, and lei wuz kissin' leidy's big bro and had imprecise steps to her walk. [Quotin’ ma paver: “Bakit pa-ekis-ekis maglakad yung kaibigan mo?”] Meanwhile I, who had drunk 1 black Russian (tamed wit ice), 2 big gulps of slimed sex (tastes like margarita), 3 sips of margarita, 2 sips of hot sex (spiked milk), 1 and 1/2 shots of Cuervo, and 2 glasses Asti, wuz not throwin up, not lookin' pink in tha cheeks, not kissin' anyone's brotha, and walkin' straight. Not until I came home to tha safety of ma room, anyway. Then tha world began to spin....
*****
now that sembreak's here, i kinda mis'd tests so.. here's yet another test...

You Should Be On The Amazing Race!

You're adept, swift, and great at almost any game.


Pair this with your love for world culture, and you make


the perfect Amazing Race contestant. Ready, set, go!



What Reality TV Show Should You Be On? Click Here to Find Out!

My fave sandals has been missin’ for three days now and I am goin’ paranoid wit frustration. That shoes has been wit me for two years. It is my most comfy semi-tsinelas which I can wear out. I’ve searched every inch of ma house and… IT IS CLEAR THAT IT’S NOWHERE IN THE HOUSE. I’m goin’ paranoid that I begin to suspect everyone.
Like:
Ma maver {“Buti nga yun ang nawala lumang- luma na yun eh!”} ->that old piece of trash happen to cost me P700+ when I bought it. I suspect that she threw it away. Ma maver always had a knack for throwin or givin away thangs I like. Ma fave shorts, for instance. I have all of 5 fave one-of-a-kind unusual pairs when I wuz a kid and I didn’t bought em all at once. It wuz hard findin’ each one of em, so imagine tha look on ma twelve-year-old face when I came home one day to find ma twin cousins wearin’ one each –and- PINAMBAHAY LANG NILA. Dear maver easily discarded them beloved shorts of mine [all 5 of em] to tha twins ‘coz “ala na silang masuot pambahay” and as goin away gifts since they’re goin’ home tha next day.
Anyway, on to tha next suspect…
Our new maid ->just took it and made a dash for her room.
Our boarders ->one of ‘em could have faked a phone call as excuse to go to our house, easily slipped it on and made a run towards their place.
Ma brover ->he hid it out of pure spite.
This is silly. But still… WHO’D WANT MA SMELLY OLD SHOES? Callin’ ma Suki shoes, left shoe and right … please come out and be found by me already! I’m getting’ blisters wit ma other shoes!

Which Piercing are you?

Yay! Sembreak!
***********
Ma friend has been complainin’ that I haven’t been updating ma blog lately. But I do. I update ma blog regularly –tha private one. . .;-)
*******
Last day of school had Patwee wonderin’ why tha day felt just like an ordinary one. In fact, “sad” is tha word she used to describe tha day. It seemed students were in no hurry to get away from school to a place where they could chill. I would have thought it to be an ordinary day too, if it weren’t for tha white scraps of reviewers triumphantly strewn all over tha place.
************

Ma bigbro is such a nuisance! About a week or two ago, I checked to see why it took so long for ma bathwater to boil on tha stove only to find out that ma kettle had been removed and replaced with someone else’s boilin’ kettle. I had been hopin’ to get to school on time. And so I replaced ma kettle &went to complain to ma maver for bringing him into tha world. And instead I got tha you-should-be-as-nice-to-your-bro-as-you-are-to-your-friends speech mothers give. And although bro’s li’l prank diden bother me much and neither did maver’s speech, I suddenly think back on occasions when maver gives his firstborn more food, more money, more thangs, and I know mum loves him more. And sometimes every other sentence outta ma mouth directed at ma mum has double meanings and is tinted wit jealousy over ma bro, and now that I think about it, every other sentence outta ma maver’s mouth, on tha other hand has double meanings tinted wit jealousy over ma bigbro’s gurl.

The other day's game shoulda wiped out the smug-lookin' expressions off them proud La Sallian faces. I actually have a crush on one of the Green Archer players. Still, I'd rather root for Ateneo than hear another word of La Sallian praise from tha stupid, biased, muthafucka emcees of the UAAP championship game last Sat. Oh, and I also believe I caused some form of misery on ma ex by rootin' for his school's rival.
**************************************************

Watched "About A Boy" tha other day on vcd and noticed sumthin'. Banlag si Hugh Grant. Just look at him below.

His eyes don't seem to focus. Like they're lookin' at two things at tha same time. HUGH GRANT HAVE SEPARATED EYES. Buti pa si Justin Chambers {just watched Pam's The Wedding Planner vcd}.Has better, gorgeous lookin' eyes.

My Multi-Lingual Posts:

English:
My friends think I’m a slob. Actually, I’m not. Tha black nail polish smear down both arms were all ruth’s fault. Since she agreed to have her nails trimmed, I thought she’d be even more grateful if I painted her nails for her too. Painting my arms wuz not included in tha plan but that’s tha thanks I got from her for tryin’ to improve her nails. Tha salsa on ma hand wuz entirely lei’s fault. No one forced her to let me have a bite of her food. And the chocolate stain down tha front of ma blouse? Must sue Nestlé for improper sealin’ of their bottled drinks. Tha same drink got ma friend pam spillin’ a quarter of its contents on tha quail eggs she wuz eatin’ tha same day.

Tagalog:
Nung isang linggo, pinatabi ako ni Leidy sa isang tsonggo. Gusto daw niya akong kuhanan ng litrato kasama ng tsonggo. Mukha naman siyang mabait kaya lapit naman ako. Nanghahablot pala ang lokong tsonggo. Hablutin ba naman ang kamay ko paglapit ko sa kanya. Hindi ko naman pinangarap makipag-holding hands sa isang tsonggo.
Ayoko sanang mag-post dahil ayokong humaba ang arkibo ko {archives} na sing-haba na ng sapatos ng kuya ko. Kahit anong gawin ko, di ko malipat from “weekly” to “monthly” ang arkibo ko. Kaya sa mga nakakaalam, tulungan nyo naman ako sa suliranin kong ito.

French:
Ce matin, le soleil brillait. Je ne me sens pas bien parce que je suis enrhume. Je voudrais rester au lit tous jour. Pouvez-vous comprende ce que je dis?

Took a coupla tests today...

I tashte like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com



What day are you?


this test is for leidy

Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

this one's for ruth:

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

What are you? Visit survey.JUNKIE!

take the non-offensive quiz.


and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

SoNg Of ThA wEeK {pick'd by seandrick m. de jesus}

The annoying self-proclaimed cheerleaders are back wit vengeance. This time more annoying than ever... me wit a big yellow banner that reads "Beat La Salle!" ["Go Tigers!" on tha other side], and Ruth who diden let a second pass witout shoutin' "Kup@_!" to every referee, player, and person who had anything to do wit tha Green Archers' increasing score. Wavin' ma big, proud yellow banner seemed to have produced results: It got both Leidy [who sits at ma left] and the person in front of me up from their seats to transfer to a place away from me, and got Ruth [tha person at ma right] shouting,"Ano ba! di ako makakita!" [Quit that! You're blockin' ma vision!]at me, to name just two. After awhile, I quitted tha act. I ensued support on ma seat silently pleadin' tha Archers to stop adding points to our humiliation. We were hungry for every basket, and every point scored would result to an exaggerated yell from all. Every now and then, I would stop ma silent pleas, change ma mind and shout tha last words to a fadin' cheer -surprisin' ma new seatmate at tha left by bein' tha total schizo that i am. I, in turn hafta protect maself from ma own right seatmate [loud ruth] by stayin out of her tramplin' feet's way. Those same dangerous feet crushed Leidy's Loreal lipstick in her bag last UAAP. Last five minutes of tha game had been dark for me -bein' covered in ma big, proud yellow banner I draped at ma'self.
In conclusion, I could say that we paid 50 pesos:
1)for the aircondition.
2)to be part of tha "UE wave".
3)to witness popcorn fly as part of tha UE wave crowd came in collision wit a roving popcorn vendor.
4)to witness two UE wave boys pay for the overturned buckets of overpriced popcorn.
5)to see Leidy cheer for Ateneo's Fonancier.
6)to hear a man from tha back shout at Leidy for cheerin' at tha opposite bleacher's team.
7)to hear Ateneo's Gregorian chant cheer once again.
8)to see how great tha UE cheerin' squad ballroomdanced.

*We can't git enuf of tha UE ballroom-dance-way-of-cheerin' so back to Araneta is where we're at tomorrow.*

Hey! Lookit tha date! Three years na dapat kami ng ex ko today. Juz rememberin' tha fool who made me love & cry. {"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are it might have been.." }
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Yesterday, ma bigbro wuz ecstatic at having seen Angel Aquino at tha parking area of Megamall. "Nakita ko kili-kili ni Angel!",he bragged. He wuz still kinikilig when he told us that Angel happened to be scratching her ear, and that's how he got tha chance to view her lovely 'pit. He wuz not impressed by Angel's feet though -which according to him, looks like an old man's feet. "Kaya lang, pangit paa niya, mukhang pang-matanda!"
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Found an alumni website for ma current school. Thomasians, check it out!
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Check this new love test i've unearthed!
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Found an alumni website for ma old school yesterday. Check it out, Johnites!
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I don’t understand the logic of includin’ templates in Nokia phones. If they think we’d be savin’ time by juz editin’ their stupid templates, I think searchin’ for the right template to edit would consume more time than if we’d juz type the message ourselves. Aside from this, their ready-made templates could not be deleted no matter wut so that I can’t store more picture messages ‘coz damn templates are usin’ up precious space. So I’ve decided to edit them. Might as well. Now ma templates read:
1) I’m in a meeting. Call me when I start to fall asleep.
2) Meeting is cancelled because I scheduled for a pedicure.
3) I am late. I will be there when the sun sets.
4) See you in your birthday suit.
5) See you on my ninetieth birthday.
6) Sorry, I can’t help you in this lifetime.
7) I will be arriving at 80 kilometers per hour.
8) Please call the dog by its proper name.
9) I’m at home. Please call the fire department station.
10) I’m at work. Please call at your own risk.
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Found out that some Tagalog words translate to English figuratively and literally. An example is ma fave word for ma good friend ruth -tha Tagalog word “pokpok” –a verb, which translated into English, is “hit”. Literally, both words mean to strike, beat, or knock sumthin’ as in “hit tha nail wit a hammer” or “pukpokin ng martilyo ang pako”. At tha same time, both words have tha same figurative meaning which translates to flirting. Example: Tagalog: Pinopokpok ni Ruth si Ben. English: Ruth is hitting on Ben. Galing, noh?

Ruth’s entry about her childhood crushes made me think about my own. I had my first when I wuz in kinder II but before that I used to be a loser in kinder I, where I remember being teased by an obnoxious classmate on tha table where I wuz seated. We were seated six to a table. And tha obnoxious gurl would be singin’ a song that goes “Red1, blue2, green3, yellow4, pink5…” all at once pointing to everyone else on tha table but me. I would protest then, claiming “pink 5” to be me. To which she would say no, she wuz pink 5. She would then end tha song by taunting me and singing,” Sunshine wala! Umuwi ka na!” I think she wuz jealous. Dark and ugly as she wuz. I’d never forget that incident so that years later when I wuz more popular and she wuz suckin’ up to me, I paid her no attention.

Well, anyway, in kinder II, I had my first crush as I have said. He was also my dance partner in nursery but he did not appeal to me then. His name is Thaddeus and he was seated next to me on the table. He was cute and nice. Thaddeus would always bring Dial soap wit him so all those seated at our table could wash our hands before eatin’. There was this irritating guy seated on my left named Christopher and he’d irritate tha hell outta me til Thaddeus would tell him,” Hindi kita papahiramin ng sabon. Inaaway mo siya eh!” referring to me. Christopher would stop teasin’ me for a while until after he had used tha soap, then he’ll start in on me again. It got to be so that one day I got fed up and shouted at tha Christopher guy, “Ano ba? May gusto ka ba sa akin?!” To which he turned red. What’s funny is I can’t remember tha gift Thaddeus gave me when I had a birthday party in school but I could remember Christopher’s gift. The others gave me expensive little cute gifts well-wrapped by their ‘rents. Christopher gave me a half-eaten bag of Chips Ahoy barely wrapped in wrinkled wrapping paper. I remember well coz my dad wuz laughin’ over it and wonderin’ to whom it came from. He said it looks like “itinakas lang sa bahay”. Well, I found out it wuz from Christopher tha next day when I finished handin’ thank you cards to everyone who gave me gifts. Tha teacher approached me wit Christopher trailin’ behind wearin’ a hurt look on his face. Tha teacher asked me how come Christopher didn’t git any card. Me: “Because he did not give me a gift?” Teacher: “He did. [to Christopher]: What was your gift?” Christopher: “cookies.” Me: “That’s because you didn’t put your name on tha gift.” Teacher: “You should have indicated your name!”

A thousand and one curses. Streamed down on me from ma faver's mouth. "Antanga-tanga mo talaga! Hindi kasi tumawag muna, sabi ko na kahapon, tumawag ka muna eh! Nag-aaksaya ka ng gasolina! Parang dati, iniwan ka na pala! Yadda yadda yadda...!" A hundred more when we arrived home. "O, bat ayaw mo pang bumaba ng kotse? Iintayin mo pang ipasok uli [ang kotse] eh aalis nga ako! O hindi pa isasara ang gate!" [You're such an airhead! Don't wait til the driver parks the car inside! I have somewhere to go to! Get out of the car! And close the gate behind you!] To which I replied,"Isasara ko ang gate eh aalis ka nga ulit" [Why shoiuld I close the gate when you just said you have to go again?] To which he said,"Eh kung masingitan tayo?"

Freaked ma friends out last Tuesday when I cut Theology class and showed up wit an oversized Chinese- lookin' male. 'Think they thought he wuz ma boyfriend! [Hwhaaaatt?!?!!! Boyfriend daw o!!!!!] Well, nuthin' to worry about, ma dear friends. I barely knew tha guy! Nag-usap lang kami! Y'all hafta understand that Sese's three-hour killer lecture drove me to do it.

Church and Emotional Boyfriends

Our church has a new look. It's blue and lavander and it's better than its old color green. [sorry, ruth!] I think our church gets repainted every two years. It's a tedious job 'cause they scrape off all paint and varnish on tha walls, tha ceilings and everythin' else. Since such a huge job would take long to finish, they don't postpone church services, and it'd be odd to remove tha poles tha construction men hafta climb to do their jobs when there's a church service goin' on only to put em back up again later. So we hafta attend church wit all these poles all over tha place. So that no one wants to get married coz who would want a wedding wit tha church havin' all those poles in their wedding photos? Well, anyway, at least tha atmosphere hasn't changed. One thing that'll never change perhaps in our church is tha atmosphere. How everythin's so sacred,and some would say rigid. Wut I love most is when tha moment comes after five or more songs bein' sung, when the piano would stop playin' as cue for the minister to announce that the service is startin' and that we could join in singin' praises. I don't like singing praises. Wut I like is tha moment of silence before tha minister speaks. Sometimes it would be prolonged a bit and I’d always be awed at how a thousand souls would hold their breath and keep their silence, wit only occassional coughings heard. All one thousand of us bein' quiet at tha same time. Imagine if i had that power over people? I know how most of us would want to talk or break tha silence or go to tha john but won't. I know I do. I want to speak smugly to both seatmates and tell em I know wut they're thinkin'. That they're trin' not to talk. Even in ways of standin' for tha prayers, everyone has that meek posture. Slightly bowed heads, and weights shiftin' to one leg, never a straight posture in sight. I'd love to scream and break tha silence and do some crazy thing. As a kid, I used to want to run from where the kids are bein' banished at tha back to tha front of tha church up tha podium and into the powerful minister. I wanna know if he'd git irritated and have someone take me away or find me cute. Sometimes, I still wanna do that but I don't have tha excuse of bein' a child anymore. When I have ma own kids, I'll encourage those kinds of things in them.
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I have always been single as far as I can remember. Except for ma ex two or three years ago which doesn't really count anyway. Wut I now realize is that I have not been as single as I thought I always was. I had emotional boyfriends. Boys who ain't ma physical boyfriend. Boys I don't date, don't get to see too much, don't hug, don't kiss, don’t touch. The ones that are there for me when I need to vent out angst and the ones that amuse me wit their fascination wit me. Same thing for me. Don’t give me as much stress. I cry over them, they cry over me but I don’t relally give much thought since di naman kami. And I can have as many emotional boyfriends as I want all at tha same time and can turn to one when tha other isn’t around although I always have a personal favorite. I haven’t asked mum yet if havin’ a boyfiriend is legal. But surely, she could grant me an emotional boyfriend. To my personal favorite emotional boyfriend, I love you like you’re mine.
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