“Bat ala ka pa ring trabaho?”
“Bat ala kang boyfriend?”
“Bat….?”
Finding is lost on me.
***
I’m waiting it all out. Even eternal feelings of bleakness are fleeting. ;-)

Quotes of tha month:
“Ano ba yan, mukha kang comics!” -Paver on ma modernly made-up face before we left tha house to go shoppin’.
“Thank you, that’s all.” -Ma reserved cousin Geli’s curt reply when ask’d to give a speech on her and her twin’s 18th debut party.
“Vote Ping Lacson for president of Iraq.” –09162552*08
“Gudnyt. Pls. tc.” -A text message from a friend who rarely sends sms when he heard about coup rumours.
“Stop eating!” -Ruth’s frantic whisper as I stuff’d ma face full wit ma second helping of chicken ala king while cameras roll in front of us at tha Gardenia press conference.
“Ang puri ba pag nawala na, pwede pang ibalik?” -A classmate as he ponders on life.
“A, malay ko sa inyo! Kayo lang nagkakaintindihan dyan!” -Ma aunt as she listen’d to chinovela actress Lavender talk to sum one ‘bout characters who have lengthy unintelligible Chinese names.
“Sorry, I can’t go online tonight. Dad’s playing war games on our computer.” -Gian when I ask’d him to meet me online.
***
Nakaka-guilty kiligin, baka may girlfriend.
We talk’d ‘bout everythin’ but that. Even made plans to be business partners of some sort some day but we mutually avoided love lives. Sometimes I wish he’d juz go right out & ask ‘bout ma dating status so that I’ll have an excuse to ask him ‘bout his. A friend said it’s entirely ma fault if he's not interested anymore since I diden show any signs that I liked him when he liked me. Not entirely. He is juz as much to blame for fallin’ early fo' me same as I am for fallin’ late.

Today I feel like I’m God’s favorite child. Most of tha time I feel like one of God’s children who got overlook’d and forgotten amidst tha millions whom He felt like blessin’ wit goodluck but not today. Today I am tha favorite. Ma crush hitted on me. LBC gave me 500 bucks for an article I contributed in their magazine and an admirer gave me load fo’ ma mobile. I also got a reply in ma email for an interview in one of tha companies I applied for and today I came home to find out that paver decided to welcome me back from ma weeklong stay in San Pablo by paintin’ ma room electric blue. It did not all happen today but I’m feelin’ tha impact of it all today. I’m postin’ all these so that when I’m feelin’ blue [like tha new color of ma room], I’m gonna hafta remember today.

I was gone for a week bcuz ma twin cuzins had their 18th debut last Sunday on tha same night tha Ja-Boom twins also celebrated their's. T'waz really fun to be on ma toes for a change. Quite a diff'rence from ma daily bum routine. Wit in tha week I've stay'd wit tha twins, they have task'd me to come up wit a program fo' em. I also thought of songs that cud be used as background music for tha whole program. [I came up wit 65 songs] Aside from tis, I help'd em in creatin' bracelets made of beads for their souvenirs and I produced a script for tha twins to read w/c we recorded on tape to be play'd at tha beginning of tha program along wit tha powerpoint presentation of their pictures. I also help'd in arrangin' tha 36 roses in transparent wraps & ribbons and I also co-hosted tha actual event.
Here is tha invitation w/c had a caricature of tha twins like I suggested...

And here is tha souvenir -a mini bayong w/c fits inside tha palm containing a bead bracelet I help'd in makin'...

And here is tha older twin Geli escorted by ma brover through a path of bubbles...

And here are tha twins...

As they pose...

And pose...

And as they are whisk'd away to tha dancefloor...

By their dad...

And here they are wit family...


And here is adorable Phoebe, ma co-emcee's adorable sis...

And tis is Gela, tha louder, more charming twin who resembles Dimples Romana when she smiles...

And tis is Geli, tha more reserved, more serious twin. Some says she looks like that daily morning Mexican soap actress on channel 2...

And here is tha script...
Geli: [to tha tune of Vivaldi Concerto] Ever since I was in Mommy's womb, I was never alone. Feet, nails, eyes -as I slowly developed these, someone else was inside the womb with me slowly developing similar organs. Because of this, I did not fear life. When I came into this world on July 12, 1985, I was confident because I know that someone else would be born with me. Together we would be facing the new complexities of life. That someone is Angela, my younger twin & best friend. When we were three weeks old, Angela got terribly sick. I was really scared because I thought I'd lose her. Good thing she struggled. Thanks for being here with me now, Bebz. Sometimes I still worry about you. Please understand. I just can't stand to lose you or see you gettin' hurt.
Gela: [to tha tune of Saying Goodbye, piano version] As I followed you out of Mommy's womb, I knew that I can always trust and depend on you. I'm sorry if I scared you when I got sick when we were young. I never meant to leave you. I struggled to survive because I knew you'd be lonely without a twin. For 18 years, you have always been there for me. Thanks for looking after me & Rap. Sometimes you worry too much, but that's okay because it's just what makes you such a good ate. I'll always look up to you, ate Lee.

I hate it when maver & paver flip their backs to do sumthin' nice fo' some semi-stranger who wuden do tha same thang for em. Badtrip yon. Ma parents don't trust tha world wit me but they are irritatingly kind to tha world. Go figure.

I’m holdin’ up ma forefinger & thumb an inch apart to ma face. Tis close. I wuz tis close to landin’ a job. Saturday afternoon I got a call for an interview to be broadcaster/scriptwriter for a new 1-hour program on AM radio. Sounds fun. And it’s an opportunity, right? Spesh for fresh grad dumbasses like me. I mean no one hires fresh grads, right? It is a job. It pays. And all I need to do is pass ma college diploma on Monday to git hired. Compared to tha two otha candidates, I think I qualified better fo’ tha job. One had a marketing degree, which tha boss felt doesn’t seem suitable fo’ tha job. Aside from tis, she look’d as if she can’t hand in her diploma on Monday. Tha otha one wuz a MassCom grad from PLM who liv’d in Bulacan. Both did not bring samples of their writing. I am from a reputable school & I had tha right course for tha job. I brought ma certificate of graduation along wit all kinds of clearances [NBI, barangay, school..] that very day. I also brought 3 samples of ma writing witout bein’ told. And I live a jeepney & a tricycle away from tha office. Of course there is also tha li’l matter of tha boss requirin’ 4 traits for his employers. He said that he doesn’t care ‘bout hiring anyone good. He juz wana hire someone who’s 1] flexible 2] who can git along wit his moodiness 3] courageous and 4] willing to travel He said that he cud hire all three of us if we can accept his conditions & if we can pass tha diploma by Monday. He ask’d us if we accept his conditions. Bein’ nearest to him, he ask’d me first. Almost immediately, I answer’d him a firm yes. He repeated tha qualities. [So-so,so-so…, WILLING TO TRAVEL.] I waver’d. and open’d ma big mouth. [“Um, about traveling, I am free to travel as long as not to sumwhere really far like Mindanao..”] I wuz thinkin’ ‘bout maver & paver. No way in hell wud they lemme travel farther than NCR. They won’t even lemme travel alone. I came into that place wit paver. And he wuz waitin’ for 4 straight hours already outside tha office. Tha boss said that tha broadcaster he’ll hire will hafta go to Mindanao if it’s required. He added that he needs someone who’ll escort him anytime he goes out to socialize & treat future clients and that he doesn’t take a “no” when he asks his employee to go wit him. He sens’d that tha parental units are strict and when I admitted it, he said, “Baka hinahanap ka na nila ngayon.” There were, in fact, 2 messages & 3 miss’d calls from paver in ma phone that sec. He spent tha rest of tha interview ignorin’ me & talkin’ to tha 2 otha applicants who were busy takin’ note of his instructions for employment. Before we go, he took pity on me and said that since I heard his instructions I could still talk to tha ‘rents then hand in tha requirements on Monday. Tha rents agreed to forbid me from takin’ tha job. I am still their doll. They own me. Jai guru deva om. Nuthin’s gonna change ma world. [Tis is all s’posed to make y’all feel betr fo’ bein’ unown’d..]

Some people refuse to ride tha bus. I, on tha otha hand, luv to ride tha bus more than any other vehicle. It reminds me of past field trips wit ma ‘mates as a child. Of Planetarium and tour guides and Chiz Curls and Hi-C’s and good-natured classmates who share their baons wit me. Last night as we were goin’ home in a G-Liner amidst torrential rain, it cross’d ma mind that tha bus could slip and overturn and kill us all. Some months ago, a friend met an accident on his way home ridin’ a bus. They hafta chop off his long hair cuz of tha blood clot in his head, and hafta attend our graduation in a wheelchair. He can walk now although too much walkin’ can still hurt his feet. And still I luv tha bus. Will sumthin’ ever disillusion me from ridin’ tha bus?
***
Since we were out yesterday, some of our boarders were probably devastated that they diden git to watch their fave TV series. I can almost imagine em furiously banging on our door ‘round 5:30 pm.. [”Ate Yolie, huwag po kayong madamot! Panood kami kay Dao Ming Si…!!!”] Possibly tha same time I wuz weighin’ out tha option of buyin’ a bag, a blouse, a bracelet, & a pair of jeans while listenin’ to tha tiangge vendors patronize their previous foreign customers. [I guess pokin’ fun at are wut foreigners are for.] Anyway, I kinda don’t blame tha boarders fo’ bein’ devastated as they were. I mean, I do git lessons from that Chinese TV series. And these are…
A] More often than not, we start a relationship wit someone whom we don’t really love. [e.g.: Shancai]
B] Broken-hearted people are blind to brighter better loves. [e.g.: Lei to Shancai and Shancai to Lei later on when Dao doesn’t want anything to do wit her no more.]
…to name juz two.
***
Ans tha quote of tha week comes from he who appreciates tha beauty of God's creations. He said: "A lit cigarette is a good effort. But effort beats its own."

1234 Sesame st.
Bakanteng Lote
Phils.

zzz@inspiredworkers.com
June 22, 2003

Future Employer
Private Publications
1018th f Team Bldg.
Asenso st. corner Tangingyaman ave.
Makati

Dear Sir or Madam:

Please employ me. Ma career path has alwez been to work wit you. Even now, I can see ma end in yer respective company. I totally believe that The Daily Tirades is better but I have better chances of hiring here. yer company is numero uno. I have alwez been responsible & career-oriented. Even at tha young age of 2, ma folks had alwez remark’d on how clean ma diaper’d be at tha end of tha day. You can try to put me in tha editorial jobs, or writing jobs, or tha filing jobs, or pickin’-up-paperclip-jobs, or you can put me in tha magazine cover. Eventually, y’all shall find tha right job for me. I mean, I must be good fo’ sumthin’, right? Of course, I prefer bein’ paid, if you will, sir/madam. But I also accept freebies accumulated from press events. Compared to otha aspiring bums, I cud say that ma need fo’ tis job is really strong. I am not supporting any children –present or upcoming- yet but ma material demands are juz as strong as any child’s. mebbe becuz I am still a child ma’self. And, one more thang: I have no Life right now. So I will show up for ma interview.
P.S.:
If you could not employ me, can you please write a nice recommendation for me to Tha Daily Tirades?


Slave-ishly Yours,
S.V.T.S.

Butch-er’d in Quiapo
It happen’d in National bookstore, on tha third floor where reviewers for all sorts of exams could be found. When I approach’d tha area, only one otha gurl can be seen browsin’ through tha civil service exam reviewers. She wuz a bit taller and had long slightly curly hair which she wore loose around her shoulders. I wuz payin’ no heed to her til she struck up conversation wit me. She ask’d if I wuz gonna take tha exam too. She also ask’d where I went to school & wut I had taken up. She had taken up Mass Communications in C.E.U. Tha last queschn she ask’d wuz whether I wuz thinkin’ of buyin’ any of tha civil exam reviewers on tha rack. I wuz about to answer when sumthin’ freaky happen’d. For wut felt like three minutes, she came close and press’d tha front side of her body against ma left side while whisperin’ sumthin in ma ear. For a stranger, it really felt freaky, uncall’d for & intimate. I can’t see why she hafta come close when she cuda whisper’d in ma ear witout touchin’ me. And wut she said wuzn’t even worth whisperin’ about. I don’t see any conspiracy in her suggeschn that we buy diff’rent reviewers then photocopy tha other one’s later on. I made ma escape by sayin’ that I hafta go & look for sumthin else in tha store. Afterwards, it made me think: Do I look like a butch? Mukha ba akong tibo? Assessing ma appearance that day, I had on an olive green military polo blouse, ordinary jeans and high loafers, and I have really short hair and no make-up. That makes me look like a butch? I look’d pretty normal to me. She really felt like a dyke to me but who knows? Mebbe shez juz an annoying space-invader. Wacha think, p.?

Fin’lly learn’d how to download mp3’s!
And tha first two songs downloaded were…

***
Rememberin’ Ashley
In tha past, gurlfriends had alwez come to me when they wanna know if their boyfriends are true-blue. They wanted me to hit on their boyfriends to test em. I’d text em or call em on tha phone tryin’ to git em to hit back on me & make em commit adultery to ma pal, their gurlfriends. Tha goal, of course, wuz to try to git em to like me, or hear em deny tha existence of their girlfriends, or git em to do any otha slight acts that veer towards infidelity. In all those occasions, I’ve alwez introduced ma’self as Ashley. I alwez used Ashley when I don’t wanna reveal ma real name. As a young gurl, Ashley used to be ma fave name. I used to wish I wuz named Ashley. As I grew a bit, I consoled ma’self for not bein’ call’d Ashley by promisin’ ma’self to name ma first daughter Ashley. I used to luv comin’ up wit names for future daughters but Ashley had alwez been ma top pick. However, as some thangs change, I’ve found that I don’t have tha same fondness for tha name Ashley as before & I can’t see ma’self wit a daughter named Ashley in tha future anymore. Now, I like Niggella and Dior Mitzi. I’m still stump’d on boys’ names.

You look like you just lost your best friend. I did.
***
Bum thought No. 96: Bein’ a bum is tryin’ to remember whose day off it is so that ye may take a break from overfeedin’ yo’self & tha poor bloaten’d up pet fishes, and inflict yo’self instead upon that poor fella.
***
I hate shoppin’ wit any’un. If I have ma way, I’d shop alone. But I don’t so it’s either I alwez hafta wait fo’ ma maver to catch up wit me while she takes small, leisurely steps, or I’ll hafta silently suffer in agony while she looks at every pieca silverware or otha thangs she shops for w/c are of no interest to me, or she’ll hafta endure while I linger on books or gurly thangs like bags & accessories w/c are of no importance to her. But shez nuthin’ compared to paver. Paver is tha worst. He’ll alwez go “You should be grateful I even let you tag along!” And if I tell him I need new clothes to wear to some function? His forehead wud crinkle and his brows wud come together and he’d look like Tha World’s Grumpiest Hag before tellin’ me that I have exactly 30 minutes or “isang ikot lang” to find new clothes. And if I stop to look at accessories, he’ll cluck his tongue once real loud then hurry off in big, fast strides in a mock method of leavin’ me –but of course, he won’t. He never leaves me. So shopping is really impossible wit him. At least, maver is more agreeable and easier to escape/lose. And she only gits praning when I stray for an hour from her line of vision. But of course, I’d still rather shop alone. Lotsa times I’ve come home wit ugly purchases due to their rushing. And I also don’t wanna burden em anymore by draggin’ em to tha mall when they’d rather be home doin sumthin’ else. Plus I hate it when maver breaks her promises to go shoppin’ wit me. And so tha last two days wuz spent in an attempt to escape tha impossible duo & be able to shop alone.
Attempt 1:
Saturday -I got set to go in ma three-fourths army fatigue blouse & ma high, made for baha rainy-day-shoes. I reach’d our gate when I remember’d that I have vague knowledge of gettin’ where I wanna go, so I ask’d friends who had been to ma house how I could git to Quiapo from ma place. Then I thought of goin’ back upstairs to wait out their reply, but soon as I step’d in tha house, maver met me & grabb’d ma bag & won’t let go. T’wuz a new bag & she look’d set on destroyin it so I let her have it. I diden expect her to run to her room wit it, lock her door, and sleep wit it. She did. Later on, she promis’d we’ll go tomorrow.
Attempt 2:
Sunday -I diden actually expect her to stick to her promise. I wuz right. Right after lunch, she went to sleep again. Since I diden actually git to go out wit yesterday’s clothes, I decided to wear tha same thang. Then I call’d a pal for directions. Anong sasakyan papuntang Quiapo mula samin? As I don’t want tha folks to call every’un in ma phonebook when they wake up, I woke maver up before goin’ to tell her where I’m goin’. At tha gate, it occurr’d to me that I forgot to bring an umbrella & I hate gettin’ wet. Shud have left ma bag right there at tha gate, right? I did not. She got hold of ma bag. Again.
Today, I woke up early, menstrual and wit a list of reasons for maver on why they shud be permittin’ me out on ma own at 21. I know I cud run off wit any man anytime I want. I’m long past tha minor age. Ain’t she glad I’m seekin’ their permission? As usual, words fell on deaf ears. An hour or so later, she motion’d me to come in her room. She gave me bribe. It wuz a thousand bucks. Same amount of money I lost 3 weeks ago. As tight as money might come to me. it diden make me feel any betr. On tha contrary, it made me feel sadder. Menstrual, best friend-less, untrusted, but 1000 bucks richer. Me.

Gez who's got a crush on a certain chinovela character?




Ang kyuuuuuut..!!!

Why do I git tha feeling that whereas maver has been supportive & insistent that I git a job [Her arm automatically extends a classified to me every time I turn to her & keeps reminding me ‘bout her promise to take me on a shopping spree soon as I land a job.], paver seem to object to it?
Look at yesterday’s conversation:
paver: “Di ba meron namang nagtatrabaho lang sa bahay? Yung kumikita ng malaki sa internet? Bat di ka don pumasok?” Balita ko…”
me [cutting him off]: “Ayoko, ayoko, ayokoooooo…!!!!!”
paver: “Tingnan mo ‘to, walang kumbenyo! Tapos kapag nakarinig naman sa kaklase ng ganon, chaka tutulad.”
me: “Ayoko nga eh! Ayoko sa bahay, ayoko sa bahay, ayoko sa bahay!!!”
paver: “Bahala ka..”
Actually, he also wants me to work. In fact I have two options. I can:
Option 1: work at home.
Option 2: work somewhere in tha neighborhood.
***
Tha Unbelievable Hog
ABS-CBN is such an unbelievable hog. Sumtyms I juz wanna bite those peepz responsible fo’ comin up wit diff’rent ploys to make us sit thru out their commercial ads. Here are some of their low tactics:
A] In Ukay-Ukay, they give out tha lucky number then make tha callers wait thru several ads & portions before fin’lly askin’ tha viewers to call in wit tha right number –makin’ tha callers suffer thrice thru a] havin’ to wait and watch b] tryin’ to git thru tha busy hotline c] losin’ after all tha sufferings & pain.
B] Regardless of tha program, they trick ya into thinking that there’s still more to watch [when in fact tha program already ended] by not sayin’ goodbye. I have watch’d numerous Charmed [at studio23] episodes before wherein they make ya wait thru long commercials only to come back wit tha rolling of tha credits. Then, today at Morning Girls, as Kris wuz promisin’ to be back after tha ads, Korina, probably piss’d that Kris alwez gits to say tha last word in, interrupted and said that she is, in fact, sure tha they won’t be coming back. After which a mini argument ensued between them.
C] They trick Meteor Garden [there, I’ve said it. wonder how much traffic it’ll generate fo’ tis site.] fans. In TV Patrol, they come up wit Meteor Garden daily trivia and tell tha viewers that tha Meteor Garden trivia will come right after tha 1st commercial break, then break that vow and then promise tha same thang to tha viewers again before tha 2nd, 3rd, and 4th commercial breaks roll. Till fin’lly, ya realize that tha whole time; they were in fact planning to show it AT THA END OF THE SHOW.

Beware of tha identity taker a.k.a tha garbage man. Buy a paper shredder.
Some people just throw their trash away witout second thoughts. Y’all shud know bet’r. Old test papers, documents, claim’d receipts, & anythin’ else that has yer name, address, phone number, or any otha personal info shud be carefully ripp’d across into teeny tiny bits before disposal. Or I suggest ya purchase an effective paper shredder. Tha inventors of tha paper shredder, my kumares & kumpares, are not witout purpose. Ya never know today might juz be tha day when tha garbage collector will break into his routine, decide to take yer identity and take over yer life.
***
Eek! Git that terrible animal away from me!
I am pro-‘roach killing. All ma life I have plotted cockroach genocide, urging housemates to be murderers and stomping on a few microscopic crawlers ma’self. Ma deep loathing springs from a deep fear for em so that I have develop’d a heighten’d sense for their presence. I cud be snorin’ thru tha night & still be able to wake up, turn on tha lights, and find a wretched ipis at some far end of tha room. I can even hear it walkin’ around. Tha roach knows I can only step on tha little ones. It wud display itself insolently to me, scamperin to and fro several times before maneuverin’ wisely under a cabinet once ma maver, tha real threat to its existence, is fetch’d from anotha room. Last night, there wuz lots of em around, even 3 in a room at a time. They were appearin’ everwhere so I decided to take precautionary measures. First thang I did wuz to git a glass of scalding water for cockroach scalding before entering tha cockroach realm/our kitchen. I wuz just smiling upon ma own brilliantness when I came face to face wit a big roach, causin’ me to jerk away & hastily flick ma wrist over and scald ma mum -who wuz sleepin’ on tha couch near tha kitchen. Good thang I did not spill tha whole content of tha glass on her. And I only got her leg.
Ma other cockroach precautionary measures for tha rest of tha night include:
1] Hunting for holes in house corners [I found only one hole] and wedging it wit newspaper chunks to prevent any cockroach emergence.
2] Pouring scalding water over bathroom & toilet drains for tha same reason.
3] Scaling tha heights of ma room’s ceiling-high windows to wedge newspaper chunks over tha holes to prevent a cockroach fly-in.
4] Puttin’ packaging tape at tha base of ma room’s door and cramming rags under any space still left so that no ‘roach cud squeeze under ma door and poke its ugly head at me.

How come I never git thru tha damn Ukay-Ukay hotline?
***
Wut’z worse than a night spent standin’ in tha middle of Cubao tryin to hail cabs that are in as much hurry to go home as you are? Answer: Yer mum beside you havin tha worst LSS case of tha “Spaghetti Pababa” song.

Bold or Innocent?
Wut is so horrendous about gettin’ pregnant witout a husband again? Tha revelation of a person’s boldness to have sex or tha astonishment at that person’s innocence for havin’ unprotected sex?

May has been a month for piggin' out...

Wonder wut'll June bring?

Celebrity Pondering
1] When will Sharon stop wearing off-shoulder blouses?
***
Since I’m bored stiff, I have turn’d into a gurl quite unexpectedly. Suddenly, I’m interested in make-up. Look here, they’ll choose tha right color of make-up for ya depending on yer looks and here they have great many reviews to set or change yer mind ‘bout each beauty product ye might wanna buy.

Bein’ a bum really sucks. It leaves ya wit so much time left in your hands but wit so little mint for ya to actually appreciate it. So that in yer idleness, ye become paranoid wit wasted thoughts & become irritable and ye suddenly become conscious of yer fat stomach w/c ye had been piling wit ev’ry pieca junk in yer house regardless of staleness or taste and then ya frown but make no attempt to change yer monster eatin’ habits…Or is it juz me?
***
Miss’d Calls
Why am I an ungrateful wench? Why can’t I appreciate some thangs in life? Why does tha sound of ma cell phone ringing in tha middle of tha night make me lonely?
a] Since I only make miss’d calls on other people’s mobiles when I’m lonely ma’self, those who rang me might be lonely too and it makes me lonely that other people are lonely.
b] It’s sad when I run out of credits & I can’t make ganti by reciprocatin’ tha ring.
c] When I’m longing for a certain person & another person rings, I git even lonelier.
d] When that certain person finally rings, I hate it cuz he/she did not send a message instead.
Mebbe I shud juz turn off ma cell at night. But then no one wud be able to make it known that they're thinkin' of me durin' tha night. Then I'd be lonelier.

Yesterday, I went to sleep wit tis sumbong for ma soulmate:
Hey, you slept early today! Sorry to keep you waitin’. I stay’d up late frettin’ bout someone. I know t’wuz you bein’ impatient when ya blew out tha lights tryin’ to make me sleep & you bein’ sorry when ya turn’d it on again two minutes later. How come ya alwez know when sumthin’s wrong? Yea! I've got sumthin to tell ya. Ma best friend is a miserable black bat blind to tha fact that ma need for him is a sacred privilege. It juz frustrates me how easy it is to lose a person I don’t wanna lose. Don’t be jealous now. Of course, I love ya juz as much and yea, I’ll alwez tell ya when sumthin’s tha matter but sometimes I don’t wanna be hugg’d. It allows fo’ more useless unnecessary tears to be shed leadin’ me away from tha right sense to plot revenge. No, am not plannin’ anythin’ nasty on any’un when I wake up today. Now enuf about me..how are thangs between you & yer current girlfriend? Wut? You wanna keep her? Two months and that already? Sorry but tha Master Plan sez ya end up wit me. Of course, I knew you were kiddin’! I juz wish ya hold out a li’l longer for me…ya know, I have 5 or so more guys before you. Hey, gotta git back to ma body in bed now! Sumthin’s tellin’ me ma maver’s gonna try & wake me up early today. Lucky for ya you git to sleep in today…don’t talk to strange souls, a’ite? Especially strange gurl souls…