That awkward moment when your love for each other don't exactly meet

Although you could be in a relationship with someone at the moment, sadly, there will come a time when the most intense love you're feeling for your partner is not exactly reciprocated. Not to be mistaken for "Unrequitted Love", this occurrence which happens regularly to everyday loving people who are committed to each other may be called "pagkakasalisihan". It may start out that, pre-relationship, someone has this really great idea of you in their head about how great and lovable you are and how the sun shines from your ass, etc. And then, just when the idea of you being this great person starts to sell on you, and you start loving this person back, and your love starts building up into this huge intense emotion, and you're suddenly in a relationship together, the other person will suddenly fall lax, and his love wouldn't be as great as it was, and lo! you just missed feeling intensely in love together. The cycle could go on and on, with each of you taking turns at feeling this great love for the other and being all sacrificial etc., while the other just take his turn to be lax at love.

Can I just say that it sucks when you're the one who's feeling all this love and then it feels as if it just falls flat on empty air.

I wanted love so very bad that
I could almost tasted it
And so I gave mine all to you
and hoped you would not waste it

--Bread

Transformers Dark of the Moon Movie Review

Transformers movies, for me, will always be 70% Optimus Prime’s voice. That distinct elegant magnificent voice which reminds me of childhood TV watching, will always give long-time fans some form of security which childhood memories bring. The 20% is the happy metal clunking which is the warfare of the robots, along with all the wonderful motions of the robots. The 10% is checking out Megan Fox, but since in this movie, she was ousted for saying Hitler to Spielberg, there is no 10%. I would say OST but as I didn’t like this year’s OST as much as I liked last year’s OST, I won’t give it any points, too.

As I watched the gray, “unfurnished” monster robots try to wreak havoc and fail greatly because of their easy fatality, I can’t help but not keep thoughts to myself, and I observed out loud how “painted”, “fully furnished” robots with great flame designs down their sides fare better than their “unfurnished”, “unpolished” counterparts while my Movie Sponsor suffered silently from my commentaries.

As usual, I noticed similarities of the faces again. I will always look for and think of hawigs and kamukhas among characters in the movie theater, and robots shall. Not. Be. Spareeed.

One robot looked like Hulk Hogan.


Another one with longish hair and spectacles looked like Palito.


The obsessive compulsive boss –who I was struggling hard to remember who he looked like– at first looked like Armida Siguion Reyna


before I thought that with that wide mouth of his, he can only be Batman’s Joker.


After watching the first few minutes of the movie, I immediately felt that something feels different. Different than the 1st and 2nd Transformers, I can feel a silent lull which allowed me to think and be with my own thoughts for a minute –not a good sign for an action movie or movie that’s supposed to be for boys. Halfway through the movie, I started feeling its full impact –causing me to feel really really drowsy, and ½ of me was fighting to keep eyelids awake, while the other ½ was trying to hold it in as I felt the need to pee but was never one to get up from the movie theater for anything [out of fear of never finding my seat again, being the epic direction fail that I am].

The new girl which replaced Megan Fox lacked the angas Megan had, and reminded me of Jessica Simpson –very blonde.


As with children's shows, the movie ended with a moral lesson citation from Optimus Prime’s magnifique voice just about the time that I was ready to surrender to sleep. Apart from the happy metal clunking, turning everything upside down [which I will always love and cringe at in action movies “Sayang naman the car, chair, books, papers office, etc.!”], and the mechanism involved with each moving robot, the movie did not worked wonders for my Short Attention Span.

My Broken-hearted Boy

You who carry a big scar on your soul.
I sometimes catch you with faraway looks in your eyes.
You, who is as generous in giving away your body.
As you are a scrooge with keeping your heart.
You kiss me and spoil me.
But you look away when I try giving you my heart.
You who always cracks male chauvinistic jokes.
I cry with you in your frailty
And frustration as I struggle to give you what you want.
I sit here belonging to you while you take your time
In claiming me.
You who will never be appeased
By me.

I meant to tell you something but it escapes me at the moment. I believe it had to do with how the spring has moved into my fingertips and into everything I touch, and that I've been feeling soft and faint and white and light yellow, blue, and pink, and that
I miss you
I miss you
I miss
you.


-Glory Szabo

Love confessions

Truth is I can never steal a guy from a girl. I mean I can but I won’t. I’ve always felt a kinship with my fellow women and I could never really take it upon myself to be the cause of their heartache and pain. I almost stole a guy once but my conscience won’t give me peace so I stopped seeing the guy before anything happens. Before that, I had similarly fell for another guy with a girlfriend but knowing that a girl before me already loves him is something which I honoured, so I never told the guy that I liked him, much more let him know that I loved him. Even for guys me and my friends get similar crushes on. I always had more loyalty with my fellow girls so I just find new crushes if they get more intense crushes on the boy –regardless if I liked the boy first or not. So no, no matter how hot I looked to your boyfriend, husband, fiancé, etc., I will never steal him from you. Unless you become catfight bitchy to me –something I don’t really get and really hate since I never look at taken men, and I shall do it out of pure spite.


Truth is no matter how old I look, I still have a pre-adolescent heart. Imagine a 12-year-old heart/mind in a 29 year old body. That’s me. I fall quickly, and I hurt quickly. And I can fall out just as quickly, too. I am happy with hugging and holding hands. And I can live without sex. And I don’t really know how to need a man. So I live without. If I ever see someone or get into a relationship with someone, I say goodbye to him the moment that he: a) Gets really clingy. b) Frustrates me. c) Makes me cry. So please stop looking at me like I’m a fully grown woman who can love and understand you. I am just a 12-year old who needs hugs.
.

How I lost a toenail

Yesterday I went to the CR at the office to brush my teeth. As it was really hot and suffocating in there, I quickly finished and said bye to 2 other officemates in the CR, and darted hurriedly out of the room. Or so I thought.

When I swung open the door, I forgot that I had feet and opened the door inwards over my left foot. It just felt like a normal bruise I usually incur from bumping into tables so I cursed myself inwardly for unfailing clumsiness and continued to head out- until I happened to glance down and saw a pool of blood slowly growing on the floor from my foot. I stopped dead in my tracks and just kinda stood there wedged at the doorway blocking girls from coming in —or out— of the CR.

Remembering I had an officemate who is a registered nurse, I weakly said “Pakitawag naman si Oliver” to the room in general whilst looking at the ceiling and still blocking the CR pathways.

Good old Oliver came to the rescue with alcohol in hand [which scared me but which he ended up using just on his hands]. He cleaned up my toe [which at 1st glance looked like it had a nail scraped off halfway plus a crack in the middle of the remaining nail] and also thoughtfully cleaned up the pool of blood on my fake Melissa shoe. It took 4 pink checkered band aids to dress my wound as the blood was quickly soaking up the band aids and even when I got back I kept soaking up blood [with the tissues which I grabbed off the counter of the restaurant where we had lunch.]

Later, as I can’t get through a day without going to the CR [Small Bladder], imagine my surprise when the girl in the next cubicle called out to me:

Girl in Next Cubicle: “Shine?”
Me [looking uneasily at brown wall separating the next cubicle]: “Um. Sino ka? Kilala kita?”
We both got out and Girl in Next Cubicle reveals herself to be Luisa, my department mate.
Luisa: “Nakilala kita kasi nakita ko yung paa mo!”, she said, referring to my shoeless bandaged foot which she saw from her cubicle as I have been walking around without a shoe to let the wound heal.
At the bus home, the bleeding continued. The konduktor took one look at my tear-streaked face and charged me 4 pesos less than the original fare.

The next day at the doctor when I came to have my nail scraped off completely as advised, I was proud because not a peep came out from me after the 1st shot of anesthesia [which just felt like a shallow pinch at my skin]. I just smiled regally while the doctor wondered out loud why I was so quiet.

At the 2nd and 3rd shot which definitely pierced into my flesh, I screamed at her so much that according to my mom, people outside were craning their necks to see what the commotion was about. The doctor told me I was acting like I was being circumcised.

Afterwards, I didn’t feel any more pain, even as I hear her pounding away with what sounded like a hammer. [I didn’t look as I had my hand over my face the whole time] The pain kicked in around 30 minutes later which prompted me to swallow an Advil even without consultation, after which decided I have no patience for pain, and went to bed for siesta.

Me & My Cat: An Awesome Relationship


She was given almost immediately to us -handed to me, in particular, at our doorstep because her original owner can’t afford to have her, her twin, and her mother at the same time.



Therefore I am her mother.


She is our 1st sweet pet.

In all my years as a pet owner, no other pet had ever snuggled or cuddled to us, or jumped on our lap to sleep. She thought us the nice cozy feeling of having a warm cat resting in your lap.

I baby-talk to her. [Minchu mumuchinchi-minchu!; Mish-mish-mish!; Etchu-etchu-buhbuh cat!]


Soon as she sees me in the morning, she greets me by going round and round and rubbing unrelentingly against my legs. [which can sometimes come with a bite.]

I buy her clothes even when I’m broke. I can always just eat at home.

When I got out of a job, she was happy to see me home in the daytime that she jumped up and playfully bit my arm repeatedly.

What’s mine is hers. I let her do the ff: to my lappie: bite it, sleep on top of it, try to type on it.

She likes resting her nose on my arm/waking up on the sofa to lift her head and place it on my arm/whatever part she can reach/combing my hair with her paws.




She is insomniac, and is always seen staring into space thinking hard for hours on end.



She waits for me in the morning through sleeping by my bedroom door when she doesn’t get insomnia.

In contrast to parents who are offended by my youtube music playing, she inches her head closer to the lappie screen when she hears youtube music playing.

She takes after my brattiness. She doesn’t know how to take no for an answer and climbs on my lap 7 times even if I’m busy. She just climbs right back up soon as I put her down.

She gets sick easily. Another trait she got from me. :c

I depend on her to ward off my fear of roaches by putting her right in front of them when I see one.



Having her is just like having a dog. She runs after me, I race after her –at a speed faster than our dog’s –and she bites like a dog too! Very aso-like indeed!



Unlike Pikachu, my former cat who trashes around whenever I come near him, my pusa is very receptive to hugs and affection from me. In fact, she thrives on it and is rarely separated from my lap whenever I’m home.

All these things I’m saying still can’t express how much I miss her right now. Since yesterday, she was lying on her own on the mat, very still and quiet. She hasn’t been to my lap since the last time she unsteadily climbed onto it the other night. My empty lap is getting cold. =’(

People ask me why I never get drunk. Some people don’t quite buy my regular Drink Refusal Excuse of having stomach acidic problems. And so, coming home late one night after being out with friends, here is what I assessed:


I have a thing with power. My ego is a natural force that also has natural reluctance with being dominated. And being drunk for me can tilt my self-command and let something as shitty as a hang-over take over my control on my body and on feeling fine. Why shall I force sickness on self when feeling perfectly fine? I’d rather Keep Control In Check.


And that, my friends, is why I never get drunk/ never had a hang-over in my life.

Out of the blue, I had a nightmare. It happened last night and involved hostile feelings exchanged between me and his new extended family. Something about me consuming his left-over wedding cake while his mother-in-law's eyes shoot daggers at me. I never even think of him anymore. I had stopped loving him years ago. My subconscious just remembering a faded memory. Missing its old comfort. Maybe at the back of my mind, I just wanna crawl back into that security which he had so much to offer. To go back into something so familiar, something reassuring. But that would be like accepting defeat, and going back is never my style. If it’s your way of worrying about me, well, thank you for reappearing in my dream but I’m a big girl now, and I’ll be fine. And I don’t like nightmares. Please try not to re-appear. Thanks.

The Most Ironic Love Song

In the spirit of Valentine’s, here is what I think is the most ironic love song, inspired by Hanz’ posting of its lyrics in his status:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HCIJfA5UXY

The classic song, which can often be heard played in taxi cabs especially on Sundays, is a song about waking up to find the joys of falling in love:

“There is beauty up above and things we never take notice of..”

But even though the song is about the happiness of being in love, the tune, ironically sounds dark and sad, and I can’t help but feel heavy and depressed whenever I hear the melodramatic musical strains of the song, instead of feeling happy and gay about discovering I’m in love.

That, teamed with Billy Ocean’s ominous, conspiratonal singing [“You wake up suddenly. And you’re in love!”] makes me feel like he has a shocking revelation to tell or that he is trying to scare me about the mystery of “waking up suddenly and being in love”.

The Green Hornet movie review

I liked it. The way Green Hornet would just mindlessly ram his car into walls of houses, restaurants, and even his own building –making a mess out of everything and creating satisfying clangs of crumpling metal everywhere, which, for some reason, reminds me of sitting back and enjoying a ferris wheel ride where I can also hear the chugging of metal.





The Green Hornet is not the typical superhero movie where the hero is courageous, smart, buff and infallible. The Green Hornet is a bit like Big Moose from Archie intellectually, a little overweight, and relies on his assistant Kato [the real superhero] to singlehandedly beat all their enemies and babysit/protect him as well. [“Kato, saveee meee!”] The Green Hornet is lovable like a child, though. He alternates between spontaneously giving hugs to his assistant Kato and picking petty fights with him and name-calling him like a five-year-old trapped in a grown-up body.


The Green Hornet was not as ‘3d-fied’ as The Owls of Gahoole movie but it was mindless and fun all the same.


The movie also featured Edward Furlong of the defunct [is it still existing?] Teen Beat magazine fame


Relevance of the advanced screening food [Beef udon, fruit shake, fruit salad, pizza, donut] served to us was lost on me till I remembered that the mint bubblegum flavored Krispy Kreme they gave out were colored green. And green = The Green Hornet. Thus the weird-flavored donut. Hay.

Meeting When It's Over But You Didn't Know It

I asked him to meet me so we can talk if for the last time in person cause I didn’t want to allow him to leave me with our last communication being coursed through an effing cellular phone. He was already dissing me, not replying to my chat messages when I was scheduling our final date and then suddenly texting to say the date is on, only to make me wait for him for 2 hours before standing me up. He asked to reschedule the date to next day at the last minute. My friends told me not to go anymore but I was stubborn. I wanted to experience for myself his Unbelievable Rudeness in person.

At the mall where we’re supposed to meet, I sat waiting for him and fidgeted nervously at a corner in Powerbooks while being surrounded by hundreds of books I’ve randomly picked which sat unopened. He texted me that he was hungry so he will just grab a bite to eat first. Stunned by the fact that I must have been horrendous enough not to be even allowed to eat with him, I snapped at him to hurry eating as I had been waiting too long for him already [actually I just got there myself but the 2-hour waiting period of the previous day was still stinging in my memory], before trying to think about what to do next and where I can eat alone without him spotting me. It suddenly occurred to me that he might still see me walk miserably from Powerbooks to the place where I’m gonna eat, and as it suddenly became my goal to not be seen by him before we see each other, I just decided to stay put, opened my bag, and got out a cupcake whose contents I quickly crammed into my mouth. I was really ravenous with hunger but if he doesn’t want to eat with me, then I rationalized that I better feed myself with whatever’s available in my bag before we meet.

I could not wait any longer pretending to be interested in books of various topics and sizes in Powerbooks while going insane with wonder if he still likes me or not, and asked him if he’s done eating. Turned out he had just decided on a place to eat. When I arrived at the restaurant, he had just started eating. He had ordered beer with his pizza. I had already promised myself not to touch his food out of the indignity of him not wanting to eat with me. But my EQ –especially when it comes to food and shopping– has always failed me so I reluctantly ate the pizza he served me on my plate. As expected, we did not talk about the problem and our source of falling out, but just made small talk about anything but. I figured the happy ambiance of the family restaurant would not sit well with our talk anyway, so I decided to talk to him after eating.

I noticed how incredibly thin he’s gotten since I last saw him. I unhappily noticed the space between us as we walked out of the happy family restaurant. I twitched with hope when he shifted the take-out bag he was carrying from the hand closest to me to the other hand, as if to free his hand to hold mine. My face fell when he did not.

I took him to the park to talk, where I thought the darkness would blend well with the heaviness of our feelings. Where he told me he had never been so angry in his life as he had been for the last two weeks because of a question I have asked. I took heart and poured out some of my emotions at him, which I had been doling out in measured quantity, cautiously telling him how he hurt me with his actions without scaring him by divulging how much he really meant to me. I looked at him sitting across me casually and tears fell from my face at how cruel and cold the only man in the world I loved had gotten to me –how he stood me up the previous day, and how he did not want to eat dinner with me, and how he sat there tolerating my tears without doing anything. As I sat there thinking how-could-he thoughts and sorting out my misguided emotions for him, he got bored in the silence, promptly stood up, and looked at me, signaling the end of our conversation and the end of the night. I walked with him outside the park absent-mindedly still thinking about unresolved things between us, before realizing that I had been walking the WRONG PATH home and that he had no plans to see me off at my jeep stop and that’s why we were walking on HIS path home. We both stopped and looked at each other when I realized this and I righted my path and went on drearily home. At home he texted me to ask if I got home ok. But I know it was just out of courtesy and that it didn’t mean anything. Goddamn right will it ever mean anything.

First Yoga Experience

My friend Bogart enlisted me to attend a yoga class today. As we were running late 'coz I can't stop from stuffing myself with choco mousse and fried chicken at home, we briskly walked 3 blocks to the yoga place [which was said to be NEAR the MRT station but apparently NOT] under the 3pm sun AND briskly climbed three flights of stairs. Arriving to learn that the class had already started, we briskly changed into our yoga clothes and -with blood still pumping from so much brisk activities- went straight to the head-on-the-floor, ass-to-the-ceiling pose we found everyone in when we opened the magical door.

At first the sound of the yoga instructor's soft, melodic telephone-operatic voice slowly delivering commands soothed me. [Very relaxing and hypnotic indeed!] But as the activities got more intense, and without even having a moment to catch my breath from the mad dash to the place and not having the guts to excuse myself and leave the group for fear of earning collective looks of disgust from the group, I was just confined to thinking these thoughts while executing one yoga exercise after another:

1. Why am I being exhausted like this?
2. Until when will this go on?
3. What have I done and why am I being punished this way?
4. Why?
5. Blessed are the persecuted for theirs are the kingdom of heaven.
6. Sob.


Still, there are also not-so-bad moments. These are:

1. When the group arrived at the point where we were standing on our heads while our asses face the sky. --I was distracted and was calmed for a while by the image of our huge upside down heads in the mirror connected to our not-as-prominent bodies like we were freaks of some sort. Shit! If a photographer took a picture in this angle, it would be a hit! I remembered thinking while still being fascinated by the sight of our upside down heads in the mirror. Except will he also need to execute a head stand to be able to get the perfect shot?

2. When asked to lie flat down & close our eyes --I took a nap.

Lessons Learned:
1. Come early to yoga class. [To allow time for catching breath for climbing 3 flights of stairs and walking 3 blocks]
2. Bring tight neck-lined clothing. [As I wore a loose shirt with loose neck line, I had been flashing so much during the feet-to-the-floor exercises, I should have just yogaed in my bra.]
3. Bring own stuff. [The belt the club lent me for stretching smelled like feet!]
4. Consider the time of the day and the abundance of the sun's rays before walking anywhere.

Today in Glorietta, I was spending time alone when I saw a stuffed toy frog outside a toy store which made me stop and look. It reminded me of all the frog things I used to give someone special to me. [My pet name for him was “froggy”.] I held both the stuffed frog’s two hands, looked at its plastic eyes, squeezed one gently, and watched its tummy light up with words, then squeezed the other one too for good measure. I turned away from the frog before it lighted up again and hurried away from the store, lest it brings back tears and memories of a very special person. When I went home, I was unable to sleep, looked at the date and remembered its significance. Happy 10-10-10, Chris. Will you remember this day and think of the day when I first had a boyfriend? In 2 months, you will have your eternity without me. I hope it is as happy as we planned.

Despicable Me: a movie review

Despicable Me is an animated movie about Gru, a character who reminds me of Mc Donald's Burglar because of their similar striped wear and common villainry.

It features Gru's minions who are dead ringers for the Bananas In Pajamas and Doctor Nefario who reminds me of Krang.. and of a potato.

Actually both the minions and Dr. Nefario remind me of potatoes. And the stubbly growth of hair atop their heads is a constant distraction for me all throughout the movie. Kind of like grassheads na ewan.

The three children don't remind me of anyone or of bananas, potatoes or any other fruits and vegetables. Except for the outfit of the problem/middle child in striped lavender which reminds me of a Hi-C grape tetrapack.

The movie is a "go awww" movie [which I am fond of lately due to this getting old stage of my life] for invoking wanting to be a parent emotions and having mushy-wushy sentimental parent-kid moments, punctuated every now and then by Gru's young competition, Vector the villain's "OH YEAAAAAH!"

Another key moment is when the youngest child, happy at receiving the stuffed unicorn toy of her dreams, said "IT'S SO FLUFFY!" in a deep, gravelly big voice unfit for her. My movie mate said the little girl even did a humping motion along with the line delivery but I did not catch that.

As with any animated movies, it features a falling down exhilarating moment that is so hard to shoot in real life movies, and with Despicable Me the animated-movie exhilarating moment came during the roller coaster ride the villain dad took with his kids.

The movie -despite the "go awww" feel- did not make me cry. Did I, PIC?? Did I..?!!
Since there was no chance for my Short Attention Span to kick in so I may throw tantrums at the movie-house and share my opinions to the whole row, I say Despicable Me is still a better movie than 2012 -my ultimate gauge for movies if it's passable or not.

There is no marriage proposal, no wearing of the perfect bridal gown, no exchange of vows, no releasing of doves, no toasting to the couple. All of these fancy preparations wouldn’t happen anymore. These thoughts flashed quickly in Juliet’s head as she lie in bed after giving herself completely to the man lying next to her. This has been it. Her Honeymoon. Tears poured down silently from her eyes as she cried for the conservativity she broke. She cried for the childhood dreams she may have deprived herself. She cried for all the ridiculous fuss and expensive she-bang she suddenly has denied herself. She mourned for her low EQ and for taking the marshmallow when she could have been given more later on. But most of all, she cried for letting herself be with a man whom she know in her heart do not and will not be able to give his heart to her. She knew this even before, and she does not understand herself for still going on. And all she can do is to kiss his closed eyes as he sleeps next to her. Goodnight, Husband.

The Incurable Itch

Last Saturday, I noticed some red blotches on my right thigh and leg which itches a bit so I put Katinko green balm on it. It didn’t seem to relieve the itchiness so on top of the Katinko, I put some white balm with Chinese characters I found on my parents’ dresser –which didn’t help either, then put some baby powder on top of it, then put some more Katinko to at least give the skin a cool feeling, then went to sleep half scratching it and reaching for my disk of green balm to put more on it.
The next day, my leg was feeling very very irritated and no less itchy than the previous day but we have to go to church so I went to church with an itchy irritated leg.

All throughout the service, I was alternately scratching my leg, sighing, and hiking my skirt up so that the fabric won’t touch my very sore leg which has gotten really irritated with anything that touches it.
Coincidentally, I observed that I was seated next to a girl who has a pinkish bruise on her leg and once I caught her pat her bruise affectionately –prolly glad that it wasn’t giving her as much stress as my rashes were.

I just wanted to go home to my disk of green balm so I can start re-applying but after church I still have to wait for my mother who was taking extra long that day to change from her church uniform. Not able to take it any longer, I went to find her and saw her chatting merrily to a person who looks like she has 10 more years’ worth of life story to share. Through gritted teeth, I hurried to my mother’s side, firmly clamped my hand on her arm and whispered “Halika naa, ang katiiii!”, then smiled itchily at the person as I escorted my mother to the door.

Hoping the feeling will pass, I slept off the itch and awaited the next day with itch-free dreams, but lo and behold, the rashes seemed to have spread on my other leg and on my arms as well. Applying green balm all day didn’t seem to help either, as it still itches and stings. So at 3pm, after bitch-slapping my skin heartily all day [I was not sure scratching was allowed], I marched off to the doctor carrying my disc of green balm [which has somehow lost its cap from overuse for the past days] hoping for an itch cure that can also double as an insomnia cure.

Turns out I should not have been putting any of my green balm on it as it further irritates it. Prolly seeing how slather-happy I was, I was advised to slather on a diaper rash cream instead which had a picture of a blue-eyed baby on its box and a ‘no rash’ sign on it kind of like the ‘no smoking’ sign. Sadly, the twice-a-day medication I was also advised to take did not double as an insomnia cure.

So here I am fully awake at 2am but with fewer itches and smelling like an infant.

How the newly brokenhearted behave: An observation

Singles who just got their heart broken usually get on by meeting and dating other persons. But what about those who are going through a dry spell and aren’t fortunate enough to meet someone who likes them back?

A single person who has just been dumped or even the one who made the decision to walk away from a relationship is someone who has just gone thru rejection. And because his fragile/wounded ego needs some stroking, the Newly Single –whilst in the period of not meeting anyone new yet– usually take several steps back and find comfort into the arms of a Doting Ex. More specifically, The Ex Who Hasn’t Moved On From Him Yet a.k.a. The Desperado.

Everyone has at least one of these exes. This ex is usually the one the Newly Single have ceased loving a long time ago. The one who has also hit a raw nerve or has exceeded the Newly Single’s patience to the point of annoyance by being too clingy still/refusing to move on/refusing to stop from loving Newly Single “unconditionally”. There are reasons why the Newly Single still chooses to remain friends with The Desperado apart from the fact that these exes just won’t let go. They have the role of providing the Ego Boost or are tasked with Re-Affirmation of the Newly Single’s lovability which the Newly Single has come to doubt because of recent events in his life. Sometimes even before breaking up, when a person goes through a rough spot in his relationship, he comes into The Always Open For Him/Ready Arms of The Desperado for a quick pat on the ego or sometimes even a quick roll in the hay with them.

Although going back to the Doting Ex may work for a while, it is usually just a temporary engagement while the new person Newly Single likes is still blind to the charms of Newly Single or until someone better comes along. Therefore, Doting Exes of the World, stop from hoping and have enough EQ and self-preservation to ignore Newly Single until at least you have started loving another person already. And for the Newly Single feeding on someone else’s weakness? Not classy.

I like bringing home smells with me. Like the smell of smoke on my clothes and hair when coming home from a night out with my friends [tamer and more tolerable]. Or the smell of the mall on my newly bought clothes. Or the smell of a relative’s house on the imported pasalubong she bought me from her home across the seas. And of course, the smell of my lover’s perfume on me after being with him.

Choose to be brave than to be safe

Falling asleep and waking up next to someone you love is one of the nicest feelings in the world. It’s something I would recommend for everyone to try; especially to those who are fond of sleeping or being with people they do not love.

Most people –when asked to choose between sleeping with the one they love and the one who loves them– would usually choose to sleep with someone who loves them, who adores them, and who worships the ground they walk on… that way they’d be properly appreciated and so that they could get the right treatment which is due them.

I think nothing still beats the content, happy moment of sleeping and waking with the one you love. It reflects an achievement for the part of the lover –the courage of one’s own convictions. It shows strength of going after what you want and getting it. Of conforming to the basic rule of being in a relationship only with the one you love.

Whereas for the person who does not love back but continues to sleep or be with the person they do not love, it shows weakness. Of giving in to loneliness and one’s dependence on another human being. Of settling for a lesser being –and in the process– being an accessory to the crime of inevitably hurting another human soul’s feelings. It is doomed to failure any other way you look at it.

And so for those out there who are still together with people you know in your heart that you don’t and can’t really love, let them go and have the courage to go after the person you truly love. It’s one of the nicest feelings in the world which you shouldn’t be depriving yourself of any longer.