Start by Believing In Yourself

A most common reaction to breaking up is usually finding replacement to erase the LGS (Last Girl Syndrome) or LBS (Last Boy Syndrome) stuck in their heads/hearts. In fact, some boys and girls even go on a  "race" to enter a new relationship if only to avoid the embarrassment that comes with "being replaced" as well as to get out of the pain and heartbreak in the quickest time possible.

What happens then is an impatient quest for a replacement that compromises the quality of the relationship and the person being sought. When we don't pause to breathe from a heartbreak, we mostly end up in -guess what- another heartbreak which brings us back to where we started.

It is so easy to just plaster on a band-aid to a wound rather than being bothered with the meticulous cleaning of it that most of the time we just end up wondering why the wound is not healing at all. Then we end up taking off the band aid much much later only to discover that underneath what we've hidden from the rest of the world for a time (which we led everyone to believe is already healing speedily) is a wound that's still as fresh as it had been the day we first got it injured. Now don't we wish we had just took the extra time to clean and treat it correctly the first time around instead of just going by a quick fix that ended up being a waste of effort on our part?

Similarly, healing from a broken heart/ relationship that ended requires hard work and a determination to fix ourselves -and the first step in doing this is by starting to believe in ourselves.

Believe in yourself that you are worthy of love that people write novels about. Believe that your soul mate is in fact out there and not aborted at birth, that you are worthy of getting a proposal bestowing you a lifetime of love, or that you deserve to have some one you will love enough to propose your life to. Identify your own faults that are preventing you from getting a shot at full happiness and believe that you can change them. After all, anything worth having is worth working hard for and waiting for.

A Letter to God

Dear God,

I haven't been your biggest fan for so long. In fact, I haven't talked to you for years because I have been sulking for a while and felt like you favor your other children over me. How else can I explain why my wish for happiness is pushed aside while you grant friends, families and acquaintances their soul mates/lifetime partners? I felt left out -like I'm your least favorite child in the world, and that you feel the need to give others (particularly my friends) what they want while you let me wait and wait and be miserable without my other half.

But lately, a friend of mine has encouraged me to try talking to you and see if it will make me feel better. As I have felt that I have come to one of my lowest points in life recently when I've gone through a heartbreak and someone I considered a friend broke my trust in a totally unbelievable and depressing way, I've decided to give it a shot. Every morning as I walk towards my ride to work or when I remember it, I talk to you and pray that the friend who has betrayed my trust will make things right by taking responsibility for what he has done. Additionally, I have also continued to ask you for the one thing I have been asking constantly from you ever since -to give me my lifetime partner and to let me know once I have met him.

With what's happened lately, I know that this was your doing, and that you are working in order to grant me my long standing wish. With this in mind, I'd like to give thanks to you for making this possible for me. You and I may not be as close as you and your devout followers, but at this time of hurt, betrayal and confusion, I'd like to believe that you are holding my hand when other people's hands have slipped away from mine.