It started with doubts.

I knew he didn’t love me on our 1^st day together as a couple. [We became an item tha previous day but decided not to see each other juz for tha zaniness & tha heck of it] I say this because when we were on tha bus ride home, I tried out tha magic words to him, curiously waiting how he will react [yes this is my 1^st relationship]. He did so by staring blankly at a spot beneath my head and blinking a few times, seemingly lost in thought over something.

Few, if none relationships ever start with pure love. There are a hundred and one reasons for choosing to enter into a relationship with someone without ever having to love him or her. I totally believe that love only comes after such a period of time had passed that both individuals truly know each other, depending on tha frequency of tha couple’s time together. But in this day and age, no one in his right mind would go through old-fashioned courtship for a couple of years before entering a relationship. The average acquaintance, getting to know, and courtship period nowadays is 1 – 6 months, and that’s not even everyday communication but on an inconsistent weekly tryst.s Here are a few reasons people enter a relationship in such a short amount of time:

1. Physical appearance More specific: To score -->Most specific: Sex. Most people in this country just don’t do casual sex. So how to score on a yummy crush? Enter into a relationship with him/her and earn unlimited, not to mention exclusive nookie rights. To be equally exclusive to him/her is up to you based upon your greed & eagerness to catch herpes.
2. To get back on an ex for dumping him/her or leaving him/her for another, to try to ignite jealousy, and therefore inspire a Much Hoped For Reconciliation from tha Still Loved [but no1 has catch’d on u still love him/her, u swear!] Ex.
3. Tha inability to live without a boyfriend/girlfriend a.k.a. Dependence on Romantic Relationships. Surely beats boredom, it’s convenient & it’s companionship with benefits, you say. Wut more can you ask for?
4. Generosity or tha ability to share/spend huge amounts of one’s Money and other material belongings on Another. Which is juz an oozingly attractive trait in an individual.
5. Tha inability to reject another. Most people just can’t hurt another’s feelings and can’t say no no matter what.
6. A sexual act. [Kiss, hug, touching, sex, etc.] One of you might have seduced tha other to trick him/her into getting into a relationship or in tha case of tha seduction having been done just as a hormonal knee-jerk reaction by tha initiator, tha other might feel that they both owe it to thamselves to ‘legalize’ tha act and thus enter into a relationship so that tha other won’t feel ‘dehado’ by continually doing it without tha blessing of an exclusive commitment.
7. Insufferable Persistence. Know those e-mail alerts you get in tha mail asking you to join a certain community site which you get repetitively from everyone in your yahoo contacts? They juz keep pouring and pouring in and you’ve been doing fine ignoring them for tha first few months. But than tha 10001th invite came. So just to stop them from coming in, you just click and join already. Same thing goes for a beau that just won’t go away. Instead of draining your energies tryin' to keep him/her away, sometimes it's juz easier to give in & accept him/her in your life.
8. To try to forget a forbidden love e.g. a friend's bf/gf/ex, a friend's ex, someone's wife/husband, a cousin, someone's bf/gf. Some people don't have the courage to go for the ones they really love 'coz the situation ain't easy. Or sometimes, when there comes a much awaited opening like the Forbidden Desired One got dumped or breaks it off with his/her lover, it’s too late already because by then, the Carefully Crushing individual who's got it bad for Forbidden Desired One would have already been dating another to pass time. So wut happens is tha Forbidden Desired One & Carefully Crushing forever throws longing ‘wut-might-have-been' looks & share stolen moments at each other while heading for tha other direction & creating relationships wit their respective Uncomplicated & Unsuspecting Partners.

So wut you ask is my non-pure reason for entering into a relationship? It’s number 6 & 7. Admittedly, it was me who insisted on tha relationship. He might have just wanted for us to juz date around a while but my last non-relationship was horrific & I don’t wanna go through frustrations, anger, & feelings of inadequateness again. I entered a relationship b’coz we held hands & I don’t wanna be no holding hands without commitment coz I know it would lead to kissing. And kissing for me –without a boyfriend- is tha milder version of getting pregnant without a husband. And yea, he also won’t leave me alone. For him, considering am not really overwhelmingly rich & generous, I suspect its number 1. Also number 8. And love came only on tha 6^th month.