Top 2011 Songs I Loved Listening to on Youtube:
1. Moulin Rouge - Come What May (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvJpJl04cAI)
- At the beginning of 2011, I allowed myself infatuations involving 1) a younger guy and: 2)another guy who looks a bit like Ewan McGregor in my infatuated mind. This led me to watch this Moulin Rouge clip over and over again, reveling in the feeling of falling in love with a penniless guy just because his heart is (in my lovelorn mind) pure.
2. Say It's Possible - Terra Naomi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARHyRI9_NB4)
- Another one that tops my 2011 list of songs is this one which I accidentally stumbled upon by searching for a mellow lullabye-like song I've heard a former office mate play (whose title and artist I don't really know so I ended up listening to Jay Brennan songs, guessing it was him.) I never found the song & artist but I came across this which is really nice too.
3. First Love - Utada Hiraku (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RshS5HTM6vo)
- Following the trend of sap, I've been in since the start of 2011, I have decided to give in to insistent LSS (Last Song Syndrome) in my head, searched and found a Toni Gonzaga song, learned it was a remake, then found the original version. Another heart-wrenching song for the wretched emo spirit that won't leave me.
4. When In Rome - The Promise (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwGeMYBGffs)
- Another LSS song, this time heard on a new wave soundtrack playing jeep! Remembering the song the next day meant another youtube searching frenzy for me!
5. Die Another Day - Madonna (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwDEqNMb0fE)
- Because of rumours circulating that world will end come May, and because it didn't, this dancy tune suddenly popped in my head in celebration of a postponed world end.
6. Love and Longing - My Sassy Girl OST (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUTXJVo7__A)
- Yet another sappy song, this is the instrumental piano background played at the Korean movie My Sassy Girl when Sassy Girl made Kyunwoo go to the other mountain and she was crying cause she was sorry. This is also the song played when girl told Kyunwoo about her ex-boyfriend who died. Relevance to own life: Feeling blue so listened to this.
7. The Show - South Border (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuleY2iPlpE)
- Went to a party hosted by a friend who just graduated from culinary school. One of his cousins sang this come videoke time which made me remember just how much I liked this hiphop OPM song, never mind the saucy grinding video.
8. Just A Kiss - Lady Antellebum (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs9X8NhQJF4)
- Stumbled upon this on Tumblr. A sweet love song that is not tiring to listen to even if repeated all through out the day.
9. Tadhana - Up Dharma Down(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUCwIHAAOC0)
- Heard this on Jam 88.3 on the weekend where they're playing nothing but songs from Filipino artists. I probably developed a liking for this song simply from always hearing it played on the TV as an OST to a GMA telenovela.
10. Arms - Christina Perri (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvbErM6ZTBA)
- Heard this on the radio (probably on RX 93.1 or Mellow 94.7)and though it has a gospel song quality, I can't help but appreciate the heart outpouring albeit cheesy quality of the song and the manner it was sung.
Other songs:
11. Angel Of Mercy - One Republic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3QJyNcglSc)
12. Stronger - Kanye West (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0tLN22mMlU)
13. We Found Love - Rihanna (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg)
14. Can You Help Me - Usher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COElrYxpCHA)
15. Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIFhst3DwPE)
16. Hold Me Now - Wayne Wonder (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_W60eJ73Pk)
17. Breathe In - Frou Frou (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naLr4q8OYEs)
18. Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK_u_V76o60)
19. Symphony No. 9 - Beethoven (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAOTCtW9v0M)
20. Spiderwebs - No Doubt (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZXUCHCLVag)
21. Pink - Raise Your Glass (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvvamodXZbw)
22. Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEPTlhBmwRg)
23. Just Can't Get Enough - Black Eyed Peas(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtJB2_rn-qs)
24. First Cut is the Deepest - Sheryl Crow (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFrVfH54Q1Y)
25. Here with Me - Plumb (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxEyErosnHo)
26. You Drive Me Crazy - Britney Spears (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuCTuWve0NE)
27. Now That You're Gone - Ella Mae Saison (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yetqeK4UlvA)
28. The Show Goes On - Lupe Fiasco (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIlXlb3zcCw)
29. This Gathering - Franco (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li6hpqjYdXw)
30. Falling In - Lifehouse (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bzr2tgXPsVM)
Sunday, October 9
Real Steel: A Movie Review
When I first read my invite for the movie and came across the word "action", I was not really thrilled about it, as action movies bring to my mind images of helicopter scenes, helicopter sounds, soldiers milling back and forth restlessly --thereby perenially boring me to tears, and causing me to 1)poke my seatmate every 5 seconds 2)offer him or her candy 3)yawn profusely, etc.
Good thing Real Steel was not that kind of action. I actually ended up enjoying the movie. Real Steel was a feel-good movie about robot boxing, and watching it made me feel like I am watching a Transformers or Iron Man movie. Same exhilarating rush of pride you get from watching boxing/wrestling matches and rooting for a certain fighter the way you cheer for a close relative. And each winning punch Atom [the underdog robot boxer] throws and each match he wins sends a jolt of enthusiastic adrenaline to me [& the other viewers].
The boy in the story, Max Kenton played by Dakota Goyo is a boy who has really expressive face. You can see how his eyes, lips, dimples, and whole face curve and light up slowly into surprise, delight and happiness --emotions he best portrays. Sadness & anger were not his best expressions, though, as he just narrows his eyes a bit and looks kinda sleepy. The kid could also be a younger version of Kyle XY.
The hiphop dancing scenes of the boy with his robot were also good. They executed some pretty neat dance moves, and not just some little kid sway-to-the-music kinda stuff.
Evangeline Lilly casted as the leading lady in the movie is just about right for Hugh Jackman as the leading man. Hugh is somehow old, and so is Evangeline who is a cross between Vonda Shepard and Alanis Morisette. Less perfect cast = more realistic characters. And casting a bombshell chick into the landlady/mechanic-of-the-leading-man role of the leading lady just won't cut it, as it would seem unrealistic for a totally gorgeous chick to stick it out with a penniless leading man who wouldn't pay her the rent.
Finally, Atom has similarities to Tin Man of Wizard of Oz.
Friday, September 16
Sunday, September 11
Me as a Discount Voucher Claimer
Last week is Broke Week. To cope with that, I decided searching my belongings for discount vouchers to claim as my personal solution to Penniless Days [that went on indefinitely]. To find a solution for Ulam For The Coming Days, I dug up my 2 vouchers for a certain grill restaurant in Timog. I've already called the restaurant a day before, and I have already cleared with the person who picked up the phone that although it's not possible to take out the food, I can eat the food there, and then have the food I won't finish packed up for take-out.
Here's a picture of the place from their site.
Judging from the look of the logo design of the restaurant and their website, I thought that what I was going to was a fast food typa thing. Wrong. I arrived, and the place had this "more expensive, more intimate look" than what I expected, with its very dim orange lights. Looking around finding old men swilling beer all around, and it suddenly had a "beer house" feel for me, and coming alone, I hesitated a bit before coming in and choosing a corner most table far away from the old men drinking.
When the waiter approached, I told him upfront that I came with an Ensogo voucher, and that I plan to claim 2 (P250 worth) vouchers. He told me that I can only claim 1 voucher as it was a one-voucher-per-person deal. As I've already examined the terms before I arrive, I argued and told him that no, it was a one-voucher-per-transaction kinda deal, and showed him the fine print on my voucher for emphasis. Intimidated by me, he directed me to talk to the manager. ["Buti pa po, kausapin nyo na lang ang manager!"]
Coming with him to the front of the restaurant, I repeated what I said to him to the 60-ish feisty woman manager who looked really stern as all managers should be, I guess.
The manager argued back what the waiter stated that it is a per-person deal...
Amazona Manager: "Sorry, this is for a ONE-VOUCHER-PER-PERSON so you can only use 1."
Me: "Ok with me. If you can show me where exactly in the fine print does it say that it IS a per-person voucher. As you can see, it states here that it is a ONE-VOUCHER-PER-TRANSACTION kinda deal. I understand that you want to earn more income than normal circumstances, but can't you see that by having the ONE-VOUCHER-PER-TRANSACTION deal, you will get more income as it means that I cannot order your P555 worth bestseller using my 2 vouchers and then paying only P55 additional. It means I can only use 1 voucher, so my discount is just very minimum."
Amazona Manager(looking faint from all the words I used in 1 minute): "I'll read it first. Take a seat first."
After what felt like an hour:
Amazona Manager approaching my table: "I'm sorry. Di talaga pwede. PER-PERSON talaga siya, and dapat talaga yan ONE-VOUCHER-PER-PERSON-PER-VISIT."
Me: "Pero wala nga pong nakalagay na ganyan dito sa voucher. If only you can show me where what you said is stated, I will agree with you."
Amazona Manager in a jeering voice: "Alam ko na yang style ng mga katulad mo eh! Why, can you say that you can honestly eat 2 vouchers' worth of food tonight? Ano, sabihin mo nga! You will just try to eat a bit of your food, then have it wrapped for take-out! Someone did that already, and you're trying the same thing!"
Me: "I understand your concerns, and your fears that I might eat exactly just how much the voucher costs which is P500, and that you'll have no extra income from me, but didn't I already told you earlier that I will eat a little more than the cost of my vouchers, and that I will happily pay for the additional costs I will incur?"
Amazona Manager: "Hindi naman sa ganon. May mga mag-boyfriend pa nga who eat exactly how much they order, and that's fine with us, but what we're really preventing from happening is that you will take out our food."
Me: "Sige nga po, can you tell me what's wrong with taking out your food? On the contrary, it will even be more beneficial for your restaurant, and it will gain you more customers because if I take your food home to my family, there are bigger chances that they will like your food, and I can take them with me here next time, or they can come here on my own --as compared to if I just ate all your food alone, and there's a chance that I might not personally like it, so I will not come back here again, and you have less chances of getting income again from my household."
Amazona Manager who does not seem to be listening: "Yeah. That's nice. I might even suggest that to the management for our future deals to include take-out options, but right now, it's just not possible. If you come with a friend, instead of coming here alone with 2 vouchers, then I would have relented."
Me [contemplating if I will just come back to claim my 2nd voucher, but remembering the hassle of complicated 3-ride commuting, lotsa walking, et. al.]: "Can I help it if I don't have any friend? Is it really not possible to claim my 2 vouchers even if I am an Ensogo employee?" [whilst taking a calling card out from my bag]
Amazona Manager momentarily shocked to silence and recovering after 3 minutes: "Patingen ng ID."
I quietly handed her my Ensogo ID which hung from my MTV ID lace. Amazona Manager looked at it, gave it back, then waved my calling card to my face and said "Akin na lang to ha!" before wordlessly walking back with her stone-cold face to her pwesto behind the front desk of the restaurant.
I WIIIIINN. :D :D :D
I ate some of my food, took it home to my family, and packed the left-overs as my lunch for the next day. I loved the roasted veggies.
Last week is Broke Week. To cope with that, I decided searching my belongings for discount vouchers to claim as my personal solution to Penniless Days [that went on indefinitely]. To find a solution for Ulam For The Coming Days, I dug up my 2 vouchers for a certain grill restaurant in Timog. I've already called the restaurant a day before, and I have already cleared with the person who picked up the phone that although it's not possible to take out the food, I can eat the food there, and then have the food I won't finish packed up for take-out.
Here's a picture of the place from their site.
Judging from the look of the logo design of the restaurant and their website, I thought that what I was going to was a fast food typa thing. Wrong. I arrived, and the place had this "more expensive, more intimate look" than what I expected, with its very dim orange lights. Looking around finding old men swilling beer all around, and it suddenly had a "beer house" feel for me, and coming alone, I hesitated a bit before coming in and choosing a corner most table far away from the old men drinking.
When the waiter approached, I told him upfront that I came with an Ensogo voucher, and that I plan to claim 2 (P250 worth) vouchers. He told me that I can only claim 1 voucher as it was a one-voucher-per-person deal. As I've already examined the terms before I arrive, I argued and told him that no, it was a one-voucher-per-transaction kinda deal, and showed him the fine print on my voucher for emphasis. Intimidated by me, he directed me to talk to the manager. ["Buti pa po, kausapin nyo na lang ang manager!"]
Coming with him to the front of the restaurant, I repeated what I said to him to the 60-ish feisty woman manager who looked really stern as all managers should be, I guess.
The manager argued back what the waiter stated that it is a per-person deal...
Amazona Manager: "Sorry, this is for a ONE-VOUCHER-PER-PERSON so you can only use 1."
Me: "Ok with me. If you can show me where exactly in the fine print does it say that it IS a per-person voucher. As you can see, it states here that it is a ONE-VOUCHER-PER-TRANSACTION kinda deal. I understand that you want to earn more income than normal circumstances, but can't you see that by having the ONE-VOUCHER-PER-TRANSACTION deal, you will get more income as it means that I cannot order your P555 worth bestseller using my 2 vouchers and then paying only P55 additional. It means I can only use 1 voucher, so my discount is just very minimum."
Amazona Manager(looking faint from all the words I used in 1 minute): "I'll read it first. Take a seat first."
After what felt like an hour:
Amazona Manager approaching my table: "I'm sorry. Di talaga pwede. PER-PERSON talaga siya, and dapat talaga yan ONE-VOUCHER-PER-PERSON-PER-VISIT."
Me: "Pero wala nga pong nakalagay na ganyan dito sa voucher. If only you can show me where what you said is stated, I will agree with you."
Amazona Manager in a jeering voice: "Alam ko na yang style ng mga katulad mo eh! Why, can you say that you can honestly eat 2 vouchers' worth of food tonight? Ano, sabihin mo nga! You will just try to eat a bit of your food, then have it wrapped for take-out! Someone did that already, and you're trying the same thing!"
Me: "I understand your concerns, and your fears that I might eat exactly just how much the voucher costs which is P500, and that you'll have no extra income from me, but didn't I already told you earlier that I will eat a little more than the cost of my vouchers, and that I will happily pay for the additional costs I will incur?"
Amazona Manager: "Hindi naman sa ganon. May mga mag-boyfriend pa nga who eat exactly how much they order, and that's fine with us, but what we're really preventing from happening is that you will take out our food."
Me: "Sige nga po, can you tell me what's wrong with taking out your food? On the contrary, it will even be more beneficial for your restaurant, and it will gain you more customers because if I take your food home to my family, there are bigger chances that they will like your food, and I can take them with me here next time, or they can come here on my own --as compared to if I just ate all your food alone, and there's a chance that I might not personally like it, so I will not come back here again, and you have less chances of getting income again from my household."
Amazona Manager who does not seem to be listening: "Yeah. That's nice. I might even suggest that to the management for our future deals to include take-out options, but right now, it's just not possible. If you come with a friend, instead of coming here alone with 2 vouchers, then I would have relented."
Me [contemplating if I will just come back to claim my 2nd voucher, but remembering the hassle of complicated 3-ride commuting, lotsa walking, et. al.]: "Can I help it if I don't have any friend? Is it really not possible to claim my 2 vouchers even if I am an Ensogo employee?" [whilst taking a calling card out from my bag]
Amazona Manager momentarily shocked to silence and recovering after 3 minutes: "Patingen ng ID."
I quietly handed her my Ensogo ID which hung from my MTV ID lace. Amazona Manager looked at it, gave it back, then waved my calling card to my face and said "Akin na lang to ha!" before wordlessly walking back with her stone-cold face to her pwesto behind the front desk of the restaurant.
I WIIIIINN. :D :D :D
I ate some of my food, took it home to my family, and packed the left-overs as my lunch for the next day. I loved the roasted veggies.
Tuesday, August 23
Not a heartbreak
Wearing the old shirt that used to belong to her first love [who is now another woman's husband] when she needs to borrow strength.
Momentarily forgiving him and going on with her life, but getting weak and unsolid again every time someone she loves hurts her.
Blaming him for never really returning the independence he took from her after he met her.
Knowing that what she's going through is not a heart break, but an odd sneaky ghost feeling that never really left, which sometimes make her crave for hugs and make her want to hold a man's hand, and make her throw her heart at the sea.
Wanting to be treated just like how her first love treated her but getting frustrated every time.
Remembering a line he dedicated to her:
A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one?
--Goo Goo Dolls
Wearing the old shirt that used to belong to her first love [who is now another woman's husband] when she needs to borrow strength.
Momentarily forgiving him and going on with her life, but getting weak and unsolid again every time someone she loves hurts her.
Blaming him for never really returning the independence he took from her after he met her.
Knowing that what she's going through is not a heart break, but an odd sneaky ghost feeling that never really left, which sometimes make her crave for hugs and make her want to hold a man's hand, and make her throw her heart at the sea.
Wanting to be treated just like how her first love treated her but getting frustrated every time.
Remembering a line he dedicated to her:
A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one?
--Goo Goo Dolls
Sunday, August 21
That awkward moment when your love for each other don't exactly meet
Although you could be in a relationship with someone at the moment, sadly, there will come a time when the most intense love you're feeling for your partner is not exactly reciprocated. Not to be mistaken for "Unrequitted Love", this occurrence which happens regularly to everyday loving people who are committed to each other may be called "pagkakasalisihan". It may start out that, pre-relationship, someone has this really great idea of you in their head about how great and lovable you are and how the sun shines from your ass, etc. And then, just when the idea of you being this great person starts to sell on you, and you start loving this person back, and your love starts building up into this huge intense emotion, and you're suddenly in a relationship together, the other person will suddenly fall lax, and his love wouldn't be as great as it was, and lo! you just missed feeling intensely in love together. The cycle could go on and on, with each of you taking turns at feeling this great love for the other and being all sacrificial etc., while the other just take his turn to be lax at love.
Can I just say that it sucks when you're the one who's feeling all this love and then it feels as if it just falls flat on empty air.
I wanted love so very bad that
I could almost tasted it
And so I gave mine all to you
and hoped you would not waste it
--Bread
Although you could be in a relationship with someone at the moment, sadly, there will come a time when the most intense love you're feeling for your partner is not exactly reciprocated. Not to be mistaken for "Unrequitted Love", this occurrence which happens regularly to everyday loving people who are committed to each other may be called "pagkakasalisihan". It may start out that, pre-relationship, someone has this really great idea of you in their head about how great and lovable you are and how the sun shines from your ass, etc. And then, just when the idea of you being this great person starts to sell on you, and you start loving this person back, and your love starts building up into this huge intense emotion, and you're suddenly in a relationship together, the other person will suddenly fall lax, and his love wouldn't be as great as it was, and lo! you just missed feeling intensely in love together. The cycle could go on and on, with each of you taking turns at feeling this great love for the other and being all sacrificial etc., while the other just take his turn to be lax at love.
Can I just say that it sucks when you're the one who's feeling all this love and then it feels as if it just falls flat on empty air.
I wanted love so very bad that
I could almost tasted it
And so I gave mine all to you
and hoped you would not waste it
--Bread
Monday, July 4
Transformers Dark of the Moon Movie Review
Transformers movies, for me, will always be 70% Optimus Prime’s voice. That distinct elegant magnificent voice which reminds me of childhood TV watching, will always give long-time fans some form of security which childhood memories bring. The 20% is the happy metal clunking which is the warfare of the robots, along with all the wonderful motions of the robots. The 10% is checking out Megan Fox, but since in this movie, she was ousted for saying Hitler to Spielberg, there is no 10%. I would say OST but as I didn’t like this year’s OST as much as I liked last year’s OST, I won’t give it any points, too.
As I watched the gray, “unfurnished” monster robots try to wreak havoc and fail greatly because of their easy fatality, I can’t help but not keep thoughts to myself, and I observed out loud how “painted”, “fully furnished” robots with great flame designs down their sides fare better than their “unfurnished”, “unpolished” counterparts while my Movie Sponsor suffered silently from my commentaries.
As usual, I noticed similarities of the faces again. I will always look for and think of hawigs and kamukhas among characters in the movie theater, and robots shall. Not. Be. Spareeed.
One robot looked like Hulk Hogan.
Another one with longish hair and spectacles looked like Palito.
The obsessive compulsive boss –who I was struggling hard to remember who he looked like– at first looked like Armida Siguion Reyna
before I thought that with that wide mouth of his, he can only be Batman’s Joker.
After watching the first few minutes of the movie, I immediately felt that something feels different. Different than the 1st and 2nd Transformers, I can feel a silent lull which allowed me to think and be with my own thoughts for a minute –not a good sign for an action movie or movie that’s supposed to be for boys. Halfway through the movie, I started feeling its full impact –causing me to feel really really drowsy, and ½ of me was fighting to keep eyelids awake, while the other ½ was trying to hold it in as I felt the need to pee but was never one to get up from the movie theater for anything [out of fear of never finding my seat again, being the epic direction fail that I am].
The new girl which replaced Megan Fox lacked the angas Megan had, and reminded me of Jessica Simpson –very blonde.
As with children's shows, the movie ended with a moral lesson citation from Optimus Prime’s magnifique voice just about the time that I was ready to surrender to sleep. Apart from the happy metal clunking, turning everything upside down [which I will always love and cringe at in action movies “Sayang naman the car, chair, books, papers office, etc.!”], and the mechanism involved with each moving robot, the movie did not worked wonders for my Short Attention Span.
Transformers movies, for me, will always be 70% Optimus Prime’s voice. That distinct elegant magnificent voice which reminds me of childhood TV watching, will always give long-time fans some form of security which childhood memories bring. The 20% is the happy metal clunking which is the warfare of the robots, along with all the wonderful motions of the robots. The 10% is checking out Megan Fox, but since in this movie, she was ousted for saying Hitler to Spielberg, there is no 10%. I would say OST but as I didn’t like this year’s OST as much as I liked last year’s OST, I won’t give it any points, too.
As I watched the gray, “unfurnished” monster robots try to wreak havoc and fail greatly because of their easy fatality, I can’t help but not keep thoughts to myself, and I observed out loud how “painted”, “fully furnished” robots with great flame designs down their sides fare better than their “unfurnished”, “unpolished” counterparts while my Movie Sponsor suffered silently from my commentaries.
As usual, I noticed similarities of the faces again. I will always look for and think of hawigs and kamukhas among characters in the movie theater, and robots shall. Not. Be. Spareeed.
One robot looked like Hulk Hogan.
Another one with longish hair and spectacles looked like Palito.
The obsessive compulsive boss –who I was struggling hard to remember who he looked like– at first looked like Armida Siguion Reyna
before I thought that with that wide mouth of his, he can only be Batman’s Joker.
After watching the first few minutes of the movie, I immediately felt that something feels different. Different than the 1st and 2nd Transformers, I can feel a silent lull which allowed me to think and be with my own thoughts for a minute –not a good sign for an action movie or movie that’s supposed to be for boys. Halfway through the movie, I started feeling its full impact –causing me to feel really really drowsy, and ½ of me was fighting to keep eyelids awake, while the other ½ was trying to hold it in as I felt the need to pee but was never one to get up from the movie theater for anything [out of fear of never finding my seat again, being the epic direction fail that I am].
The new girl which replaced Megan Fox lacked the angas Megan had, and reminded me of Jessica Simpson –very blonde.
As with children's shows, the movie ended with a moral lesson citation from Optimus Prime’s magnifique voice just about the time that I was ready to surrender to sleep. Apart from the happy metal clunking, turning everything upside down [which I will always love and cringe at in action movies “Sayang naman the car, chair, books, papers office, etc.!”], and the mechanism involved with each moving robot, the movie did not worked wonders for my Short Attention Span.
Monday, May 30
My Broken-hearted Boy
You who carry a big scar on your soul.
I sometimes catch you with faraway looks in your eyes.
You, who is as generous in giving away your body.
As you are a scrooge with keeping your heart.
You kiss me and spoil me.
But you look away when I try giving you my heart.
You who always cracks male chauvinistic jokes.
I cry with you in your frailty
And frustration as I struggle to give you what you want.
I sit here belonging to you while you take your time
In claiming me.
You who will never be appeased
By me.
You who carry a big scar on your soul.
I sometimes catch you with faraway looks in your eyes.
You, who is as generous in giving away your body.
As you are a scrooge with keeping your heart.
You kiss me and spoil me.
But you look away when I try giving you my heart.
You who always cracks male chauvinistic jokes.
I cry with you in your frailty
And frustration as I struggle to give you what you want.
I sit here belonging to you while you take your time
In claiming me.
You who will never be appeased
By me.
Wednesday, May 11
I meant to tell you something but it escapes me at the moment. I believe it had to do with how the spring has moved into my fingertips and into everything I touch, and that I've been feeling soft and faint and white and light yellow, blue, and pink, and that
I miss you
I miss you
I miss
you.
-Glory Szabo
I miss you
I miss you
I miss
you.
-Glory Szabo
Sunday, April 24
Love confessions
Truth is I can never steal a guy from a girl. I mean I can but I won’t. I’ve always felt a kinship with my fellow women and I could never really take it upon myself to be the cause of their heartache and pain. I almost stole a guy once but my conscience won’t give me peace so I stopped seeing the guy before anything happens. Before that, I had similarly fell for another guy with a girlfriend but knowing that a girl before me already loves him is something which I honoured, so I never told the guy that I liked him, much more let him know that I loved him. Even for guys me and my friends get similar crushes on. I always had more loyalty with my fellow girls so I just find new crushes if they get more intense crushes on the boy –regardless if I liked the boy first or not. So no, no matter how hot I looked to your boyfriend, husband, fiancé, etc., I will never steal him from you. Unless you become catfight bitchy to me –something I don’t really get and really hate since I never look at taken men, and I shall do it out of pure spite.
Truth is no matter how old I look, I still have a pre-adolescent heart. Imagine a 12-year-old heart/mind in a 29 year old body. That’s me. I fall quickly, and I hurt quickly. And I can fall out just as quickly, too. I am happy with hugging and holding hands. And I can live without sex. And I don’t really know how to need a man. So I live without. If I ever see someone or get into a relationship with someone, I say goodbye to him the moment that he: a) Gets really clingy. b) Frustrates me. c) Makes me cry. So please stop looking at me like I’m a fully grown woman who can love and understand you. I am just a 12-year old who needs hugs.
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Truth is I can never steal a guy from a girl. I mean I can but I won’t. I’ve always felt a kinship with my fellow women and I could never really take it upon myself to be the cause of their heartache and pain. I almost stole a guy once but my conscience won’t give me peace so I stopped seeing the guy before anything happens. Before that, I had similarly fell for another guy with a girlfriend but knowing that a girl before me already loves him is something which I honoured, so I never told the guy that I liked him, much more let him know that I loved him. Even for guys me and my friends get similar crushes on. I always had more loyalty with my fellow girls so I just find new crushes if they get more intense crushes on the boy –regardless if I liked the boy first or not. So no, no matter how hot I looked to your boyfriend, husband, fiancé, etc., I will never steal him from you. Unless you become catfight bitchy to me –something I don’t really get and really hate since I never look at taken men, and I shall do it out of pure spite.
Truth is no matter how old I look, I still have a pre-adolescent heart. Imagine a 12-year-old heart/mind in a 29 year old body. That’s me. I fall quickly, and I hurt quickly. And I can fall out just as quickly, too. I am happy with hugging and holding hands. And I can live without sex. And I don’t really know how to need a man. So I live without. If I ever see someone or get into a relationship with someone, I say goodbye to him the moment that he: a) Gets really clingy. b) Frustrates me. c) Makes me cry. So please stop looking at me like I’m a fully grown woman who can love and understand you. I am just a 12-year old who needs hugs.
.
How I lost a toenail
Yesterday I went to the CR at the office to brush my teeth. As it was really hot and suffocating in there, I quickly finished and said bye to 2 other officemates in the CR, and darted hurriedly out of the room. Or so I thought.
When I swung open the door, I forgot that I had feet and opened the door inwards over my left foot. It just felt like a normal bruise I usually incur from bumping into tables so I cursed myself inwardly for unfailing clumsiness and continued to head out- until I happened to glance down and saw a pool of blood slowly growing on the floor from my foot. I stopped dead in my tracks and just kinda stood there wedged at the doorway blocking girls from coming in —or out— of the CR.
Remembering I had an officemate who is a registered nurse, I weakly said “Pakitawag naman si Oliver” to the room in general whilst looking at the ceiling and still blocking the CR pathways.
Good old Oliver came to the rescue with alcohol in hand [which scared me but which he ended up using just on his hands]. He cleaned up my toe [which at 1st glance looked like it had a nail scraped off halfway plus a crack in the middle of the remaining nail] and also thoughtfully cleaned up the pool of blood on my fake Melissa shoe. It took 4 pink checkered band aids to dress my wound as the blood was quickly soaking up the band aids and even when I got back I kept soaking up blood [with the tissues which I grabbed off the counter of the restaurant where we had lunch.]
Later, as I can’t get through a day without going to the CR [Small Bladder], imagine my surprise when the girl in the next cubicle called out to me:
Girl in Next Cubicle: “Shine?”
Me [looking uneasily at brown wall separating the next cubicle]: “Um. Sino ka? Kilala kita?”
We both got out and Girl in Next Cubicle reveals herself to be Luisa, my department mate.
Luisa: “Nakilala kita kasi nakita ko yung paa mo!”, she said, referring to my shoeless bandaged foot which she saw from her cubicle as I have been walking around without a shoe to let the wound heal.
At the bus home, the bleeding continued. The konduktor took one look at my tear-streaked face and charged me 4 pesos less than the original fare.
The next day at the doctor when I came to have my nail scraped off completely as advised, I was proud because not a peep came out from me after the 1st shot of anesthesia [which just felt like a shallow pinch at my skin]. I just smiled regally while the doctor wondered out loud why I was so quiet.
At the 2nd and 3rd shot which definitely pierced into my flesh, I screamed at her so much that according to my mom, people outside were craning their necks to see what the commotion was about. The doctor told me I was acting like I was being circumcised.
Afterwards, I didn’t feel any more pain, even as I hear her pounding away with what sounded like a hammer. [I didn’t look as I had my hand over my face the whole time] The pain kicked in around 30 minutes later which prompted me to swallow an Advil even without consultation, after which decided I have no patience for pain, and went to bed for siesta.
Yesterday I went to the CR at the office to brush my teeth. As it was really hot and suffocating in there, I quickly finished and said bye to 2 other officemates in the CR, and darted hurriedly out of the room. Or so I thought.
When I swung open the door, I forgot that I had feet and opened the door inwards over my left foot. It just felt like a normal bruise I usually incur from bumping into tables so I cursed myself inwardly for unfailing clumsiness and continued to head out- until I happened to glance down and saw a pool of blood slowly growing on the floor from my foot. I stopped dead in my tracks and just kinda stood there wedged at the doorway blocking girls from coming in —or out— of the CR.
Remembering I had an officemate who is a registered nurse, I weakly said “Pakitawag naman si Oliver” to the room in general whilst looking at the ceiling and still blocking the CR pathways.
Good old Oliver came to the rescue with alcohol in hand [which scared me but which he ended up using just on his hands]. He cleaned up my toe [which at 1st glance looked like it had a nail scraped off halfway plus a crack in the middle of the remaining nail] and also thoughtfully cleaned up the pool of blood on my fake Melissa shoe. It took 4 pink checkered band aids to dress my wound as the blood was quickly soaking up the band aids and even when I got back I kept soaking up blood [with the tissues which I grabbed off the counter of the restaurant where we had lunch.]
Later, as I can’t get through a day without going to the CR [Small Bladder], imagine my surprise when the girl in the next cubicle called out to me:
Girl in Next Cubicle: “Shine?”
Me [looking uneasily at brown wall separating the next cubicle]: “Um. Sino ka? Kilala kita?”
We both got out and Girl in Next Cubicle reveals herself to be Luisa, my department mate.
Luisa: “Nakilala kita kasi nakita ko yung paa mo!”, she said, referring to my shoeless bandaged foot which she saw from her cubicle as I have been walking around without a shoe to let the wound heal.
At the bus home, the bleeding continued. The konduktor took one look at my tear-streaked face and charged me 4 pesos less than the original fare.
The next day at the doctor when I came to have my nail scraped off completely as advised, I was proud because not a peep came out from me after the 1st shot of anesthesia [which just felt like a shallow pinch at my skin]. I just smiled regally while the doctor wondered out loud why I was so quiet.
At the 2nd and 3rd shot which definitely pierced into my flesh, I screamed at her so much that according to my mom, people outside were craning their necks to see what the commotion was about. The doctor told me I was acting like I was being circumcised.
Afterwards, I didn’t feel any more pain, even as I hear her pounding away with what sounded like a hammer. [I didn’t look as I had my hand over my face the whole time] The pain kicked in around 30 minutes later which prompted me to swallow an Advil even without consultation, after which decided I have no patience for pain, and went to bed for siesta.
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