Wednesday, October 29

If failing to post recent entries in a blog is displaying very unbumlike character, then so it is!
Goodbye, bum-hood!;-)
‘twas fun while tha remaining bucks lasted! Hello, new money! [Come to mama..!] May tha unknown forces stay where they are and fail at pushing me outta ma receivin’ end [of money..!] & good graces for a looong time ‘coz it’s so damn gewd to be employ’d. [yea!] I’m not a statistic anymore! [just autistic! Har,har, and har!]
***
I know it’s normal fo’ buntis peeps to lihi over otha people, but right now I’m naglilihi over a buntis. Tha buntis I’m talking about is tha 25-yr-old nine-month preggy accountant at our office. Shez so round and cute that she makes me gigil! Another office mate looks juz like ma uncle. For some reason he also reminds me of someone else. Guess who. Ma secret name for him is Poohbear.

Sunday, October 19

i-mood: Internet-deprived

Tha last time I used our telephone before it was unreasonably disconnected was when I “ran away from home” three weeks ago. Since then I haven’t bother’d much about bloggin’ since bloggin’ in Internet cafes while sumbody else looks over yer shoulder duzen really appeal to me.
Did I really ran away? I did not. T’was more like takin’ an overnight trip sumwhere witout givin tha rents a chance to agree or disagree. Afterall, ya don’t run away then tell tha one you’re runnin away from where you’re headed, right? Which was wut I did. I call’d em up soon as I left em and told em where I was stayin’ before our phone died mysteriously &was it ma fault they can’t call me back? Absolutely not! So wut if I dress’d up for church as if I was goin’ wit paver as usual then sneak’d out when he was in tha bathroom? I cuden have done it any otha way! Of course ma accomplice & gracious patron[ess?] had outdone herself that day, treatin me to movie, arcade & dinner @ Greenbelt when a quiet night at her house consumin’ away her internet account wud have been enuf and later she also lemme do juz that, lettin’ me invite more friendsters for ma account. I also casually climb’d ma host’s shelf to reach & grab a book or two from its ceiling-high location before we left her house and proceeded to Gabby’s for our second breakfast where his parents had tha misfortune of hearin ma early morning drum-banging disturbance after G pointed out tha irresistible noise-wreakin’ instrument to me.
Amidst all of these, I still have no Internet! [yes, I hafta post tis on a café sumwhere in Anonas, tha heart of drug-addicts & pocket-pickers –who better not be lookin’ over ma shoulders! ]
Tha following week was spent job-huntin’ wit ma h.s. friendster Toy. Apparently, all ma otha pals & acquaintances have found themselves jobs. And so I got re-acquainted wit Toy and spent four days [two Tuesdays, a Wednesday & a Thursday] job-huntin’ wit Toy. Discover’d a lot bout him since tha last time we really bonded was way back in high school when we used to bruise each other by slappin’, pinchin’, and usin’ our pens to draw lines at each other’s exposed skin [which we almost did again once on a bus ride home.]
In four days I found out that Toy had tha unconscious habit of:
1] pinchin’ his nose.
2] foldin’ his upper lip inwards so that half of his upper teeth is shown to ya.
And tha conscious habit of:
1] goin’ to tha loo every half hour.
Besides job-huntin’, we also hunted for men among those whom we chanced upon who might be wearin’ tight tank tops or sleeveless shirts tack’d inside high-waisted pants, and categorized em as “maskulados” while tha gorgeous men we meet git to be categorized as “papa-ble” or “delicious”. There was also tha unannounced “pa-baratan” contest which we realized after Toy tried to git out of payin’ me tha forty bucks he owed me [which he promised to pay on tha bus ride home] by tryin to distract me wit stories; earlier when I dismiss’d tha idea of eatin at Pizza Hut, claimin’ an allergy for places which had service charges; and again when we tried chatted nonstop on tha bus tryon’ to ignore tha “konduktor” in tha hopes that he’ll forget to collect our fare. Since a business management graduate and a journalism graduate could only have call centers as common applyin’ ground, we decided to perfect our English along tha way complete wit exaggerated American/sometimes Brittish accents so that tha man in front of us at tha escalator look’d back at us and stared while Toy and me carried on wit our conversation wit completely serious expressions on our faces. There was this instance in Makati when we encounter’d harmless lookin’ people which Toy identified to be ralliers and before I knew it, he was miles ahead of me runnin’ as fast as his long skinny legs could carry him. When I catched up wit him, I found that he had ceased runnin’ but was takin’ brisk hurried steps along one of tha wide steps of a five-stepp’d stairway towards some shrine. In his haste to escape tha ralliers, he had climb’d sideways into a shrine which I think wasn’t made fo’ public walkin’. When I noticed tis and found that I ma’self was walkin’ on a step a notch lower than Toy’s wit no one else on tha stairway, I told him how I thought t’was prohibited. He came back down on tha sidewalk but not before retorting “Eh bata pa naman tayo eh!” I found that the slightest signs of scorning could make him spring defense for his actions. Finally, high school nostalgia, boredom, and improved tolerance for physical pain [or mebbe Ruth’s masochism is catching] got me tryin’ to git Toy interested in tha never-ending “gantihan” of slapping & pen-drawing on tha bus ride home. I started by askin him if he knew wut an arm-burn is. Witout waitin for his reply, I proceeded to demonstrate it to his right arm. He reacted by gettin’ out his pen. After protesting for a second, I gave him ma left hand so he can take vengeance but he seem’d to have changed his mind after a minute, capping his pen and placing it back in his plastic envelope. I also tried to see if he was still “madamot” like he was in high school. Seein’ a “nenok”-worthy cute Hua Ze Lei pad tha size of a Post-it among his belongings, I ask’d if I could help myself, to which he gave a very cross “Later.” He did gave me a piece when I pestered him again and just counted out tha Hua Ze Lei’s I’ve sneak’d from him in ma bag when I got more.
Tha Singaporean neighbors have got to pay for hackin’ our telephone line and address!
All in all, job-hunting wit Toy had been fun. He is actually more generous [lettin me steal as many friendsters of his as I want and escorting me to a company that had no job openings for him], less vengeful [in gantihan], and as kwela and game for anythang as ever.

Saturday, October 11

pop quiz: Wutz red and angry and in-between ma brows?
***
I think that ma poor hearing skills aren't fit to be in a call center workplace. {Say wut..?} Too poor to endure & tolerate a stream of soft-spoken deliberately superfast slang words thrown at me during interview by a nasty sleeveless-clad nasty Medusa. So that at tha end when she told me I can come back when I'm better after 3 months, it took all ma strength to keep from blurtin' that she could do away wit fake eyes {contact lenses} anyway.
***
correction to pop quiz: Wut ARE red and angry and in-between ma brows?

Thursday, October 2

Jeepin'

all too friendly leaded air and scent of worn tires
drifted to my nose
strangers side by side and face to face
all in companionable silence
grateful at grandma sleeping across me in clashy floral terno
generous towards Albert Martinez at my left
forgiving at man wit lousy bowl haircut
comfortable in my seat
brimming with humanity for all
smiling at the few moments
of non-attempt at social interaction
leaving mang jun alone as he decides
whether to bring me to my death or
destination