The other day, I was talking about marriage over lunch with my two team mates at work. Probably to get back at me and Ai for interrogating him and teasing him on why he currently has no girl friend in one of our previous lunches, he decided to turn the tables and pester me and Ai on why we still haven't tied the knot at our ripe age.
To answer Leonard, and all other people who wonders why I haven't married yet, I always say that:
- It's a feeling, not a time-pressured requirement for anyone. As I have said over and over again to anyone who asks, getting hitched should be based solely on feelings (or lack thereof) and I will not be pressured to do it just because I'm getting old. I do not feel like marrying because I do not feel like marrying. I'm not normal like other marriage-minded females so what! Don't ask me at what age I plan to marry because it will never be an age but something that will depend on my feelings, so if I don't have any feelings, I will not marry. First of all, why will I want to enter a state where I am not sure of the consequences? There is no guarantee that marriage = happier me so why will I wish for something I don't have when it won't even bring me joy? Plus, I will only be stressing myself (like other girls I know who wring their hands wishing for marriage) by wanting something I don't have which I'm not even sure of. I am content with my life, and if any one else tells me not to be, then I demand that that person gives me something that is sure to make me happier -like shopping money. Also, please see reason number 2.
- Has it ever occurred to anyone that they shouldn't ask women about these things? It's rude, it's impolite, and it's not as if the choice is entirely for us to make, as men should be the ones initiating a marriage proposal.So don't ask me!
To irk me further is this article from dailymail.co which friends keep on sharing and kept popping up irritatingly at my Facebook newsfeed:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2176281/Generation-refuse-grow-No-mortgage-No-marriage-No-children-No-career-plan-Like-30-somethings-Marianne-Power-admits-shes-.html
It's an article about the "generation who refuses to grow up" and I was on the brink of sharing it on my own wall while skimming the first few sentences of the article, but as I read on I slowly became madder and madder, until I don't want to share the article anymore but just whack some sense onto the author (Miss Marianne Power's) head. Even though my friend who posted the article did not share my view that the article is judgmental and said that all it did was just compared generations, for me it's the tone kept the article from being seen by me as nothing other than judgmental.
With concluding words, Ms. Powers had said:
"I’ll be the last guest at the party, dancing alone, long after the music stops. And I don’t want that."
and:
"We’re propping up bars across the country, hoping the dim light disguises our wrinkles and that our Topshop outfits help us to blend in with the 20-somethings around us. And that’s a very sad thought. Perhaps it is time to finally grow up."
As if the basis of truly growing up and being a better human being depend solely on the ability or the inability to marry someone and have kids. Here the author was, longing to be a wife and a mother and basically saying how pathetic she and the rest of us are just for choosing not to marry and/or not to have a child, without even considering the other aspects of her life that are positive and which makes her happy, and also without considering the not-so-good aspects of marrying and having children.
Is she saying that my friend who married, got beaten up, and had her child sexually harrassed by her psycho ex-husband made better life choices than her and other single individuals?
Is she saying that those who just neglects and leaves their children to be cared for by their relatives are better human beings than single aunts and uncles who looks after their nephews and nieces?
Because to me, it seemed Ms Marianne Power's answers to that are yes.