What is 26 to me?
26, the age I’ve been for 2008 means a lot of things to me. And these include:

• Breaking up with my 1st boyfriend.
• Realizing that I juz don’t party as hard anymore and I’d rather catch the now precious zzz’s. Although I’ve seen this coming at 25, now I feel much stronger about my zzz’s. Three years ago, Fridays for me must be spent dancing & staying up till 7am at bars for I feel that thy youth should not be wasted and I should maximize my freedom as a youth by postponing and evading such a boring task as sleeping thru partay-ing & staying up with friends. Now, I get cross when I’m not in bed before midnight, and I get sleepy earlier too! Sleep has suddenly become such an important activity I cannot miss out on.
• Blogging a lot of emo posts. Sorry!
• Having a sickness caused by unhealthy happy-go-lucky living/eating such as GERD or acid reflux and finding out that your party buddy juz recently developed it too. [We’re growing ollllddd, frennnn!!!]
• Outgrowing my nigga way of blog posting.
• Downloading Limewire and getting tha mp3s I wanted for myself. Used to delegate tha task to someone else.
• Feeling anxiety and terror at having to go home alone or go anywhere alone after tha first few months.
• Agreeing with Toyz that prolly since we at least see each other once a week or at least try to [we always call each other up on Fridays to argue on making him go to Timog or making me go to Makati and end up doing neither and spending time with whoever’s near us.], and prolly since I’ve slept at his house overnight for tha 1st time tis year, and because our respective Johnite original best friends left us for their respective love lives, it is only logical to now be each other’s Johnite best friend.
• Choreographing part of an office presentation number. [Would tis be tha first of many choreography stints? ;-) ]
• Singing and dancing wit a straight face [hirap pala] all in tha name of fun.
• Having someone at work e-mail tha big bosses [without copying me] how bad I am and how she is much greater.
• Eating a worm at Balaw-Balaw Restaurant in Rizal [which according to Ate Nhing's dad, was featured in Living Asia].
• Having the car washed wit me inside all throughout.
• Oh yeah. Having my love rejected. ;-)

A letter from my brother when i turned 1 at the hospital with measles

Maver found this old spotted letter written on a 1/2 crosswise pad by my baby-sitting grandma as dictated by my brother when he was 3 [and much kinder] and I was 1 and in the hospital:

Dear SASHA,

Sana gumaling ka na. Dear Sasha. Laro tayo. Hindi na kita susuntukin at bubuntalin, sana uminom ka na ng gamot para gumaling ka. Sana tumaba ka na. Sana tabatsoy ka na, bait na ako. Sana uminom ka na ng Affebrin [which i always throw up according to maver], sana pag dating mo dito wala ka na galis. Sana makapanood ka na ng Sesame. Sana mawala na ang peklat mo. Sana masaya ka na sa birthday mo ulit, sana beautiful. Sana kumain ka ng candy para lumakas ka na. Sana maglaro ka na. Sana kumain ka ng kumain. Sana uwi ka na dahil lungkot ako. Sana paglaki mo, beauty na. Kiss na sa kuya! Babay!

From kuya

The last time we were here, we were on our last date together. I held you with tenderness because I knew I was letting you go.

Today I marvel at the wonder of being in the same room. There's a hollowness at the pit of my stomach you have caused. This strange hollowness continues even as we fixate ourselves on other people and we don't really bother each other. A strange hollowness, which, I found out, did not go away but only grew more hollow when I watched you go.

There will always be some kind of sadness caused by once again seeing the person "who never got there".

I am beginning to love the sound of your laugh. Which is not good. Not good at all.