My Extended Sorry

The following are my extended apology to you, done in your name and for your forgiveness of me and hoping it somehow makes up for my discontinuance of eternity with you:

• Being nicer to my next relationship.
• Being more patient.
• Putting up with shit.

Sometimes I know that I offer myself for abuse and attract jerks almost deliberately as penance for giving up on us, and even though they are not you and there’s no way for you to appreciate what I’m doing to them in your name, it’s just actually my way of saying sorry to you. Sorry I messed up big time. Sorry I failed you and us.

I recently took a Facebook quiz and was surprised that the results matched my Angel even if I did not say anything about the green color. Whoa!

Here's what it said:
5h1n3 took the Who is your Guardian Angel? quiz and the result is Raphael

"Healing power of God", "The Divine has healed", "God heals" Hebrew word rapha means "doctor" or "healer". Raphael is a powerful healer and assists with all forms of healing - humans and animals. He helps to rapidly heal body, mind and spirit. The chummiest and funniest of all Angels, Raphael is often pictured chatting merrily with mortal beings. He's very sweet, loving, kind and gentle and you know that he's around when you see sparkles or flashes of green light. Part of Raphael's healing work involves spirit releasement and space clearing. He often works with Michael to exorcise discarnate entities and escort away lower energies from people and places. As well as a healer, Raphael is known as the "Patron of Travelers" because of his help with Tobias and his travels. He assures that all your transportation, lodging and luggage details go miraculously well. Raphael also helps with inward spiritual journeys, assisting in searches for truth and guidance. Raphael is protecting and helping healers such as doctors, therapist and surgeons. Raphael not only helps you to heal from physical, emotional and mental pain, he also heals wounds from past lives. He is a Keeper of Holy Grail the highest spiritual energy of unconditional love that heals everything.

Hope it will find its way to you wherever you are

Last night I found out that I still believe in my soul mate. Although the belief is not as great as it used to be, yesterday, after speaking to my Angel, I found myself thinking briefly about him and then composing and singing sad songs hoping it reaches him somehow. I know deep within me there’s a void only he can fill. I know there’s a chance I may never meet him in this life and this saddened me and brought lots of tears to me last night even if I’m nowhere near pms.

Be Happy When Someone is Mad at You

It's good to feel someone's anger cause it means that someone thought highly of you and it was you who let him/her down. It's more insulting when you've done something not up to standards and people will react neutrally cause they have expected you to fail.

I believe in angels.

People close to me know that apart from being an eternal pessimist, I am an agnostic too. Despite this, there is a glimmer of faith from my being which comes in the form of belief in the existence of angels –having been fascinated by them ever since I watched Date with An Angel as a young child.

Even if I have given up on my soul mate and have resigned to the fact that he might have been aborted before birth, I still like to believe that I have a guardian angel watching over me at all times. This guardian angel is what keeps me sane and keeps me safe. He is the one accountable for me coming home with money and limbs still intact despite walking at odd hours in our notorious ice-pick stabbing neighborhood. When something hurts physically, typically my stomach because of acidity, I call on him and imagine him wrapping his wings around me and giving me a magic angel cure, and instantly I’ll feel better. Likewise, I imagine him soothing me when mortals hurt my feelings. He finds ways so that somehow my emotional pain is tempered down through his angel powers. He looks after me and hides things like an ex and his new girlfriend from me when I happen to be in the same place with them so that I won’t get hurt. Every time something hurts –whether physically or emotionally– I find comfort in coming to him and being pacified of all ailments. Being my angel ever since I was young, he knows how many times I have fallen and hurt myself, my weaknesses, and my fallibility. For some reason, I have envisioned him to have a green aura or ray around him. Perhaps this was the single trait I remembered about him when he showed himself in my dreams/subconsciousness. However down or lonely I get, I know that I can stop myself from jumping into yet another heartbreak/relationship doomed to failure because I have my Angel and he looks after me unconditionally. And besides, the concept of him is more realistic than the Soul Mate or a relationship with a man that is easy to get along with.

Kelly Clarkson




the Epitome of . . .




Stressed Singing




Constipated Pleading



Forehead- Knitting Hardships



Merciless Wailing



and Inconsolable Anguish.