There is no marriage proposal, no wearing of the perfect bridal gown, no exchange of vows, no releasing of doves, no toasting to the couple. All of these fancy preparations wouldn’t happen anymore. These thoughts flashed quickly in Juliet’s head as she lie in bed after giving herself completely to the man lying next to her. This has been it. Her Honeymoon. Tears poured down silently from her eyes as she cried for the conservativity she broke. She cried for the childhood dreams she may have deprived herself. She cried for all the ridiculous fuss and expensive she-bang she suddenly has denied herself. She mourned for her low EQ and for taking the marshmallow when she could have been given more later on. But most of all, she cried for letting herself be with a man whom she know in her heart do not and will not be able to give his heart to her. She knew this even before, and she does not understand herself for still going on. And all she can do is to kiss his closed eyes as he sleeps next to her. Goodnight, Husband.

The Incurable Itch

Last Saturday, I noticed some red blotches on my right thigh and leg which itches a bit so I put Katinko green balm on it. It didn’t seem to relieve the itchiness so on top of the Katinko, I put some white balm with Chinese characters I found on my parents’ dresser –which didn’t help either, then put some baby powder on top of it, then put some more Katinko to at least give the skin a cool feeling, then went to sleep half scratching it and reaching for my disk of green balm to put more on it.
The next day, my leg was feeling very very irritated and no less itchy than the previous day but we have to go to church so I went to church with an itchy irritated leg.

All throughout the service, I was alternately scratching my leg, sighing, and hiking my skirt up so that the fabric won’t touch my very sore leg which has gotten really irritated with anything that touches it.
Coincidentally, I observed that I was seated next to a girl who has a pinkish bruise on her leg and once I caught her pat her bruise affectionately –prolly glad that it wasn’t giving her as much stress as my rashes were.

I just wanted to go home to my disk of green balm so I can start re-applying but after church I still have to wait for my mother who was taking extra long that day to change from her church uniform. Not able to take it any longer, I went to find her and saw her chatting merrily to a person who looks like she has 10 more years’ worth of life story to share. Through gritted teeth, I hurried to my mother’s side, firmly clamped my hand on her arm and whispered “Halika naa, ang katiiii!”, then smiled itchily at the person as I escorted my mother to the door.

Hoping the feeling will pass, I slept off the itch and awaited the next day with itch-free dreams, but lo and behold, the rashes seemed to have spread on my other leg and on my arms as well. Applying green balm all day didn’t seem to help either, as it still itches and stings. So at 3pm, after bitch-slapping my skin heartily all day [I was not sure scratching was allowed], I marched off to the doctor carrying my disc of green balm [which has somehow lost its cap from overuse for the past days] hoping for an itch cure that can also double as an insomnia cure.

Turns out I should not have been putting any of my green balm on it as it further irritates it. Prolly seeing how slather-happy I was, I was advised to slather on a diaper rash cream instead which had a picture of a blue-eyed baby on its box and a ‘no rash’ sign on it kind of like the ‘no smoking’ sign. Sadly, the twice-a-day medication I was also advised to take did not double as an insomnia cure.

So here I am fully awake at 2am but with fewer itches and smelling like an infant.

How the newly brokenhearted behave: An observation

Singles who just got their heart broken usually get on by meeting and dating other persons. But what about those who are going through a dry spell and aren’t fortunate enough to meet someone who likes them back?

A single person who has just been dumped or even the one who made the decision to walk away from a relationship is someone who has just gone thru rejection. And because his fragile/wounded ego needs some stroking, the Newly Single –whilst in the period of not meeting anyone new yet– usually take several steps back and find comfort into the arms of a Doting Ex. More specifically, The Ex Who Hasn’t Moved On From Him Yet a.k.a. The Desperado.

Everyone has at least one of these exes. This ex is usually the one the Newly Single have ceased loving a long time ago. The one who has also hit a raw nerve or has exceeded the Newly Single’s patience to the point of annoyance by being too clingy still/refusing to move on/refusing to stop from loving Newly Single “unconditionally”. There are reasons why the Newly Single still chooses to remain friends with The Desperado apart from the fact that these exes just won’t let go. They have the role of providing the Ego Boost or are tasked with Re-Affirmation of the Newly Single’s lovability which the Newly Single has come to doubt because of recent events in his life. Sometimes even before breaking up, when a person goes through a rough spot in his relationship, he comes into The Always Open For Him/Ready Arms of The Desperado for a quick pat on the ego or sometimes even a quick roll in the hay with them.

Although going back to the Doting Ex may work for a while, it is usually just a temporary engagement while the new person Newly Single likes is still blind to the charms of Newly Single or until someone better comes along. Therefore, Doting Exes of the World, stop from hoping and have enough EQ and self-preservation to ignore Newly Single until at least you have started loving another person already. And for the Newly Single feeding on someone else’s weakness? Not classy.

I like bringing home smells with me. Like the smell of smoke on my clothes and hair when coming home from a night out with my friends [tamer and more tolerable]. Or the smell of the mall on my newly bought clothes. Or the smell of a relative’s house on the imported pasalubong she bought me from her home across the seas. And of course, the smell of my lover’s perfume on me after being with him.