Love confessions

Truth is I can never steal a guy from a girl. I mean I can but I won’t. I’ve always felt a kinship with my fellow women and I could never really take it upon myself to be the cause of their heartache and pain. I almost stole a guy once but my conscience won’t give me peace so I stopped seeing the guy before anything happens. Before that, I had similarly fell for another guy with a girlfriend but knowing that a girl before me already loves him is something which I honoured, so I never told the guy that I liked him, much more let him know that I loved him. Even for guys me and my friends get similar crushes on. I always had more loyalty with my fellow girls so I just find new crushes if they get more intense crushes on the boy –regardless if I liked the boy first or not. So no, no matter how hot I looked to your boyfriend, husband, fiancé, etc., I will never steal him from you. Unless you become catfight bitchy to me –something I don’t really get and really hate since I never look at taken men, and I shall do it out of pure spite.


Truth is no matter how old I look, I still have a pre-adolescent heart. Imagine a 12-year-old heart/mind in a 29 year old body. That’s me. I fall quickly, and I hurt quickly. And I can fall out just as quickly, too. I am happy with hugging and holding hands. And I can live without sex. And I don’t really know how to need a man. So I live without. If I ever see someone or get into a relationship with someone, I say goodbye to him the moment that he: a) Gets really clingy. b) Frustrates me. c) Makes me cry. So please stop looking at me like I’m a fully grown woman who can love and understand you. I am just a 12-year old who needs hugs.
.

How I lost a toenail

Yesterday I went to the CR at the office to brush my teeth. As it was really hot and suffocating in there, I quickly finished and said bye to 2 other officemates in the CR, and darted hurriedly out of the room. Or so I thought.

When I swung open the door, I forgot that I had feet and opened the door inwards over my left foot. It just felt like a normal bruise I usually incur from bumping into tables so I cursed myself inwardly for unfailing clumsiness and continued to head out- until I happened to glance down and saw a pool of blood slowly growing on the floor from my foot. I stopped dead in my tracks and just kinda stood there wedged at the doorway blocking girls from coming in —or out— of the CR.

Remembering I had an officemate who is a registered nurse, I weakly said “Pakitawag naman si Oliver” to the room in general whilst looking at the ceiling and still blocking the CR pathways.

Good old Oliver came to the rescue with alcohol in hand [which scared me but which he ended up using just on his hands]. He cleaned up my toe [which at 1st glance looked like it had a nail scraped off halfway plus a crack in the middle of the remaining nail] and also thoughtfully cleaned up the pool of blood on my fake Melissa shoe. It took 4 pink checkered band aids to dress my wound as the blood was quickly soaking up the band aids and even when I got back I kept soaking up blood [with the tissues which I grabbed off the counter of the restaurant where we had lunch.]

Later, as I can’t get through a day without going to the CR [Small Bladder], imagine my surprise when the girl in the next cubicle called out to me:

Girl in Next Cubicle: “Shine?”
Me [looking uneasily at brown wall separating the next cubicle]: “Um. Sino ka? Kilala kita?”
We both got out and Girl in Next Cubicle reveals herself to be Luisa, my department mate.
Luisa: “Nakilala kita kasi nakita ko yung paa mo!”, she said, referring to my shoeless bandaged foot which she saw from her cubicle as I have been walking around without a shoe to let the wound heal.
At the bus home, the bleeding continued. The konduktor took one look at my tear-streaked face and charged me 4 pesos less than the original fare.

The next day at the doctor when I came to have my nail scraped off completely as advised, I was proud because not a peep came out from me after the 1st shot of anesthesia [which just felt like a shallow pinch at my skin]. I just smiled regally while the doctor wondered out loud why I was so quiet.

At the 2nd and 3rd shot which definitely pierced into my flesh, I screamed at her so much that according to my mom, people outside were craning their necks to see what the commotion was about. The doctor told me I was acting like I was being circumcised.

Afterwards, I didn’t feel any more pain, even as I hear her pounding away with what sounded like a hammer. [I didn’t look as I had my hand over my face the whole time] The pain kicked in around 30 minutes later which prompted me to swallow an Advil even without consultation, after which decided I have no patience for pain, and went to bed for siesta.