Beware of tha identity taker a.k.a tha garbage man. Buy a paper shredder.
Some people just throw their trash away witout second thoughts. Y’all shud know bet’r. Old test papers, documents, claim’d receipts, & anythin’ else that has yer name, address, phone number, or any otha personal info shud be carefully ripp’d across into teeny tiny bits before disposal. Or I suggest ya purchase an effective paper shredder. Tha inventors of tha paper shredder, my kumares & kumpares, are not witout purpose. Ya never know today might juz be tha day when tha garbage collector will break into his routine, decide to take yer identity and take over yer life.
***
Eek! Git that terrible animal away from me!
I am pro-‘roach killing. All ma life I have plotted cockroach genocide, urging housemates to be murderers and stomping on a few microscopic crawlers ma’self. Ma deep loathing springs from a deep fear for em so that I have develop’d a heighten’d sense for their presence. I cud be snorin’ thru tha night & still be able to wake up, turn on tha lights, and find a wretched ipis at some far end of tha room. I can even hear it walkin’ around. Tha roach knows I can only step on tha little ones. It wud display itself insolently to me, scamperin to and fro several times before maneuverin’ wisely under a cabinet once ma maver, tha real threat to its existence, is fetch’d from anotha room. Last night, there wuz lots of em around, even 3 in a room at a time. They were appearin’ everwhere so I decided to take precautionary measures. First thang I did wuz to git a glass of scalding water for cockroach scalding before entering tha cockroach realm/our kitchen. I wuz just smiling upon ma own brilliantness when I came face to face wit a big roach, causin’ me to jerk away & hastily flick ma wrist over and scald ma mum -who wuz sleepin’ on tha couch near tha kitchen. Good thang I did not spill tha whole content of tha glass on her. And I only got her leg.
Ma other cockroach precautionary measures for tha rest of tha night include:
1] Hunting for holes in house corners [I found only one hole] and wedging it wit newspaper chunks to prevent any cockroach emergence.
2] Pouring scalding water over bathroom & toilet drains for tha same reason.
3] Scaling tha heights of ma room’s ceiling-high windows to wedge newspaper chunks over tha holes to prevent a cockroach fly-in.
4] Puttin’ packaging tape at tha base of ma room’s door and cramming rags under any space still left so that no ‘roach cud squeeze under ma door and poke its ugly head at me.