Don’t ask me for directions I’m asleep day
Can anyone not ask me directions in tha jeep? I’m sleepin’ ok? So wut if I look awake, I sleep wit ma eyes open. I do not know if you rode tha wrong jeep or if ya miss’d yer stop or if tis jeep is goin’ to yer destination. All I know is I’ll git off @ ma stop, alrighty? To tha two lost persons who ask’d me fo’ directions tis morn & evenin’, believe me, y’all are better off witout ma help. I'm as gewd as tha person next to ya sleepin! Directions, of all thangs! Sheesh!
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Givin’ manong his day’s supply of bente-cinco’s
When I was ‘bout to pay fo’ ma 2nd ride goin to work, I realiz’d all I have are coins. Purely twenty-five cent ones, wit ma next closest money bein’ a hundred. So I started countin out coins meticulously, wantin’ to hand tha exact amount & not wantin any coin to spill over tha muddy floor. It bein a crowded jeep, ‘twas only logical to first balance both ma bag & paperbag at ma knee where they lean’d towards ma seatmate while I counted coins. [I counted out 26, should’ve given 28 but I was 2 coins short] Then witout warning, ma seatmate suddenly sprang forward to sit on tha wider space a passenger had juz vacated across, causin’ ma white paperbag to fall on tha wet floor, tha male biatch! I had nuthin to wipe it wit so I juz let tha muddy side face away from me –and that’s when a new passenger in pale yellow shirt sat next to me & instantly acquired a brown spot on his sleeve courtesy of ma paper bag. Tha man kept lookin’ @ his sleeve & @ me but I was still sore @ tha man across fo’ droppin’ ma bag so I pretended not to notice. Sowee, not ma fault!