A government employee
After waitin for maver to finish changin’ from her deaconess uniform one Thursday noon, I ask’d if we could use tha side door insteada main door to exit juz fo’ tha change in routine.
“No, I wanna see how many of my sakops went”, maver went and steer'd me to tha direction of tha tarhetas.
“You are such a government employee…”, I told her.
“What?!”
“Never mind.”
“Have you lost your mind again?”
*A government employee, by ma defn’tn, through 3 months of puttin’ up wit em, is a person who veers towards tha routinary way of living. They have tha urgent need to do thangs tha normal customary way and others can’t tell em othawise fo’ it will be a mortal error fo’ em equivalent to getting’ jail’d or sumthin worse, heaven forbid. Tis applies fo’ goin to werk [8-5 @ tha O. no matter if ya hafta do werk outside tha office & ye are better able to werk bcuz tha O. lack’d O. supplies], not bendin’ tha rules even a bit fo’ a special case [no, we can’t have a photo caption releas’d to tha media becuz it is not yet approved no matter if it’s juz two sentences and we are tryin’ to beat newspapah deadlines and tha mayor ain’t nowhere to approve], and bein’ ridiculously afraid of their amos, they won’t a] speak a word of mockery pertainin to em not even in a jokey way b] grant interviews or answer harmless questions needed to give meat fo’ press releases c] give copies of harmless statistical documents fo’ fear of losin’ their jobs.