Boyfriend schmoyfriend
Except for really close friends, every’un always git tha crazy notion that I have a boyfriend. People would go “Swerte naman ng boyfriend mo!”, “Buti di nagagalit boyfriend mo!” [when I’d do sumthin bad], or: “Nasaan boyfriend mo?” witout askin first if a boyfriend really does exist. And when wit a straight face I’ll tell em that no, I do not have one, they’ll go, “Huu, ikaw pa!” as if I was born in tis world for tha purpose of havin’ boyfriends. Even church ministers would take one skeptical look at me then proceed to lecture me on the evils of having a boyfriend outside tha religion at our first meeting. So since no one believes me anyway, I’ve learn’d to give answers to their queschns depending on ma mood. Ma boyfriend lives in tha neighborhood. Or he lives far away. Boyfriend and me are to meet for a secret tryst when I’m seen goin home early. Seein each otha is bad for tha relationship. [on why they never see tha elusive boyfriend] I am actually getting’ hitch’d wit tha boyfriend y’all have created for me. [why I was leavin ma last place of employment before current bumhood.] And am havin his child. When I tire of a boyfriend, sometimes I have a girlfriend.
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Earliest birthday memory
I was standing fo’ tha longest time in front of our house’s window wit maver right behind me, her arms round ma shoulders. ‘Twas ma third b-day and about 4PM already and we were getting cold from tha wind. When it became clear that no one was comin’, she pull’d me close and kiss’d me, apologetic that her li’l gurl wasn’t having guests @ her party. I was fine until she did tis. Then I thought of all ma fave food [espasol among otha things], tha fancy utensils, and tha colorful party napkins she prepared and felt sorry for her, for feelin guilty @ failin’ to give me guests and how she wanted so much to make me happy but there she was behind me unhappy. A guest did came later… scrawny puny Igi-boy who was barely two and lives just across from us -ma only guest brought over by his mother
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