She may not know it but every time she sleeps, her soul temporarily leaves her body to travel to a dimension where souls go when their bodies sleep. It is at this place where souls meet their soul mates to be together which they forget about when they go back to their bodies and wake up. It is where she converses everyday with the person closest to her heart, where she makes sure to find him wherever he is in the large dimension to be next to him before going back to her body, losing consciousness, and forgetting everything done or talked about in the Dimension.

She may not know it but they sleep next to each other everyday in this dimension –the only place where they can bond, talk about each other’s lives, each other’s current partners, and wish for the day when they will meet if they aren’t together yet. It is the only time when they feel closest to another person. It is the only time they are truest to themselves. The only time when they can talk about anything without reservation and know that they won’t be judged. It is undoubtedly their best time of the day and the reason why they will wake up in the morning in an inexplicably good mood. It doesn’t bother them that although they feel closest to each other, they do not know each other’s names.

Yesterday she went to the Dimension to find her first love. After searching for a long time amidst the sleeping bodies of soul mates floating next to each other in space, it broke her heart to see her first love floating next to someone else –his current love. She noiselessly moved close to the couple and hovered over them as they slept, wanting to take heart and tell him how he’s been feeling lately. Careful not to wake them up, she spoke to him through her mind.

“Hey there. I’m here to tell you I’m still lost. It’s just I’m still a bit upset that you let me go. How could you ever do it? Don’t you know I don’t know what’s best for me? Before you came I was strong. Unprotected but strong. You came and your love weakened me. I have become so used to your love as a constant shield. I felt I can do anything… I lean back on steep places cause I know you won’t let me fall. I trusted you to save me every time. And you did. I’m sorry I leaned too far back that last time and you let go. I was just acting strong. I thought I could still be strong like before… you know? Before I met you. Now, I’m so scared. I’m an angel with a broken wing. I take very very deep breaths and feign strength before taking flights but I always fall flat on my face and always end up bruised. I hate going to places. I hate doing things. What fun is it now when I don’t have a wing? Suppose something happens to me when I’m out? I’d rather stay home and sulk. I have so many scars now… do you see them? I collected them since I lost my wing.”

She saw how his arm was protectively looped around her and noticed how she, in turn, had her arm linked around him. This girl he was with loved him and treasured him, she can see this. Perhaps this girl never leaned back unlike her who was a horror when taken care of. She continued.

“It was only with you that I felt love overflow. Not only did you fill up my cup of need for love but you filled it to the rim and allowed some to overflow to the edge. With others I have always felt inadequate. They leave me hungry. They frustrate me with the feeling that something is lacking. Their love was never enough.”

She was crying helplessly now. “I am sorry I have been a nuisance to take care of. Sorry I rebelliously told you to let me go. You who have been the best to me. I am sorry I hurt you by driving you away but look who has more scars now. I just want you to know although I have never properly thanked you, I am really grateful for all that you have done for me. Your every action was a tribute to your unconditional love for me. And… I just don’t know what to do now.”

And with these last words she fell asleep with tears in her eyes, hovering above the couple, and with her hands wistfully above the space enclosing her first love, who had arms around another love. She does this cause she wants to give him good dreams and keep him safe for the night –this man who had so gently taken good care of her not so long ago.

As her eyes close, her soul mate finally located her drifting weirdly above a couple, a sad look in her face. A bit disappointed that she fell asleep already and they did not get to talk before she went back to her body but understanding that his other half is still going through the difficult times of transition now, the soul mate drew close to plant a soft kiss that took away the sadness from her face, and covered her with a blanket made from his favorite cloud. He placed his hands above him to give her good dreams and went to sleep himself, praying for the day they will meet so that her scars can start healing.