Not a heartbreak

Wearing the old shirt that used to belong to her first love [who is now another woman's husband] when she needs to borrow strength.
Momentarily forgiving him and going on with her life, but getting weak and unsolid again every time someone she loves hurts her.
Blaming him for never really returning the independence he took from her after he met her.
Knowing that what she's going through is not a heart break, but an odd sneaky ghost feeling that never really left, which sometimes make her crave for hugs and make her want to hold a man's hand, and make her throw her heart at the sea.
Wanting to be treated just like how her first love treated her but getting frustrated every time.

Remembering a line he dedicated to her:
A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one?
--Goo Goo Dolls