The Center Cannot Hold: A Book Review

 

The Center Cannot Hold, a memoir written by schizophrenic author Elyn R. Saks, is an account of an adult woman who has a mental illness and how she went through things a normal girl would --like going to college, going to law school, finding a job, making friends, handling relationships, and dating. 

After reading just the first few pages, I was immediately endeared to Elyn, much like how I was endeared to Ramona, the eight-year-old character Beverly Cleary created in her children's book series years ago. Even if Elyn is an actual person, Ramona is a fictional character, and they were decades apart in ages, both have similarities. Ramona throws tantrums while Elyn has episodes. In both cases, both girls strive to be understood by the world around them and they feel frustrated and alone when they are not and when their needs aren't met. My heart goes out to both of them when they are feeling helpless and can't do anything about their situations due to unfortunate circumstances in their thought or emotional processes. I was always rooting for both Elyn and Ramona as they struggle through their unique disorder that no one else around them has and even as the world sees them as someone spoiled, selfish and constantly blames them for something they can not control. 

"Have you ever killed anyone?' This is what Elyn usually asks anyone she is with when she is about to have an episode. She then proceeds to tell whoever is listening that she has killed thousands with her thoughts. Sometimes she also thinks and says out loud that she is God or that she used to be God. 

According to Elyn, the difference between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder is that schizophrenia is a thought disorder while bipolar disorder is a mood disorder. 

I liked how the author is honest with how she wrote her memoir, not filtering out even the most violent or absurd thoughts she had when she was having episodes, and it was a good thing that the editors did not cut these out as well. I think that for people to understand mental illness, it is essential to be absolutely honest about it so that people going through similar situations may find hope and be encouraged to get the help they need so that they may be able to lead --if not a normal life-- at least a life where they can be happy. The book gives hope to mentally ill people by making them think that like Elyn, they can also find the career, the love, the acceptance and the support that they needed.