A Letter to the New Owner

To Whom It May Concern;
My Dell Latitude D630 was just four weeks old when I took him under my care. I gently broke him in [and he me as he taught me how to be mouse-less], lovingly half-filled him with my files, entrusted my favorite mp3s, shared my private chat conversations, took minutes with him, browsed favorite sites with him, and personalized him with previous work and friendship stickers given by friends. For 1 year and 5 months, we got along just fine even though I gave him nicks and scratches, a few viruses, and knocked out his letter “Q”. I must admit, there were even times when I underhandedly tried to trade him in with a lighter, smaller brother but failed as deep inside I know my partiality for him will prevail.
And though parting time for us is near and your meeting him is a bit overdue, I don’t think I will ever be really ready to bid goodbye to him. Please do take care of him and love him. [sob]

Very truly yours,
Old Owner