Drugs don't work they just make you worse but I know I'll see your face again [A Focalin Review]

On a spur-of-the-moment dare by lunatic office mates insisting that I have severe ADHD, I took a supposedly ridiculously expensive ADHD pill [stolen from the crazy officemate's rich ADHD-infested friend] this morning.

Effects are as follows:

• Immediately after taking it, I felt a dull drowsiness spreading slowly over me.
• My head started feeling heavy and, reveling in this sensation [F na F!], I started to imagine my whole face weighed down by the grogginess so I let my head tilt towards the direction of my computer screen like a metal being attracted by a magnet.
• Just when I was enjoying my world-in-slow-motion sleepiness, later in the afternoon, hours after eating my lunch, I started feeling the heavy weight feeling of my head shift to my chest. I watched in fascination as I started to feel weighed down by a heavy feeling in my chest.
• After completing numerous tasks for the day, I suddenly had an urgent feeling emanating from my chest. The heavy feeling started to jitter me awake from my previous drowsiness. Suddenly, I'm wide awake. Every neuron seem to be up and about, and the feeling from my chest seem to be shouting at me and demanding commands with every downward thuds of my heart: "NOW! NOW! NOW!" What does it want me to do?? It wants me to act now on what?? Dismayed, I semi-frowned and ignored my ADHD heart as I took several trips to the pantry to refill water on my tumbler. This was alternated with several trips to the CR. It seems the ADHD drug has caused me to feel insatiable thirst and wipe out the company's water supply. Additionally, it also seemed to have transfer my ADHD from my personality to my heart. Thus the "NOW! NOW!" thuds of my heart. Aside from the urgent sense that I should do something immediately like put out a fire in some building, I also felt an imminent feeling, as if the world will come to end soon. My heart was jolting me and scolding me so much for God knows what that I started taking deep, slow breaths, trying to calm my "Aning" heart. It ignored me and continued with its urgent beating for 3 more hours until the drug's effects, thankfully, has worn off. 

Now I'm back to my ADHD self but with a normal heart. The trick of the drug, I think, lies in making the user worry so much about the proper functioning of her heart that it leaves her with no chance for spinning around too much or talking excessively for the time being.