An explanation of wut i've been lately by Chris:
Look to the audience. If there isn't one, beware. If it's you, unamaze yourself. Disenthrall. Whatever it takes. Or else you're going down, for good, and the waves will close silently over you, a tribute to her bountiful care and kindness. Her unparalleled, unquestionable beauty. The modern term is narcissism. From next to nothing, we construct a world, a world in which we are esteemed.Supremely. Without question. Unconditionally. That's what we want.That's what all of us want when we're two years old. Some of us don't get it. Some of us learned to compromise. Ambiguity, slop in the system, neglect, disorder. Life. Genuine acceptance. But there's another kind of "acceptance" which is supplied by others. Proffered willingly, love. Dangled as bait, desire. Doesn't matter. Makes no difference. All is taken as food. As fuel for an esteem of self that becomes an inverted religion. Disguised as spirit, a hunger so dark it remains forever hidden. So sealed, it admits nothing but itself.