Gentleman [not tha opening doors for you type]

A big turn-on for me, probably next to being sexily courageous and aggressive, is being a gentleman. And when I say gentleman, it’s not tha opening doors for you carrying things for you type although that constitutes extra points for me only if he’s also tha gentleman I’m talking about. Tha gentleman I’m talking about is tha one not ruled by wutz between his legs. Tis gentleman will not try to get into my pants tha first time he gets tha opportunity. Tis gentleman will not try to paw me, or bring any part of his body close to me, or in any way try to get close to me without ma permission. Tis gentleman won’t try to take advantage that we are close or we are friends nor try to take advantage becoz I don’t get mad easily and I trust him not to act libidinous towards me. Tis gentleman will take tha front seat next to tha driver and allow me my space at tha backseat and will know better than to physically try to be close to me unless I have stated clearly to him that I like him, too. Tis gentleman CAN KEEP HIS DISTANCE. And so if you’re a man, and you’re reading tis and you’re hoping that one day I might respect you or even like you. I have tis to say for you. BE A GENTLEMAN FIRST.

How to spot a cheater:

1. He/she has a weak character. Weak characters are usually quitters who –instead of trying to work things out fairly and logically- will instead immediately lash out and plot revenge when their ego has been wounded. They’ll usually resort to tactics like going out with someone else just to get even.
2. He/she finds it hard to swallow pride. As mentioned, these people just won’t admit defeat. So wearing their proud hats with egos high up in tha air, they try to do things that will hurt their partners so that they won’t feel “agrabyado” coz they have upped and” evened tha score”.
3. He/she is insecure. When you’re insecure, you often feel that your spouse will cheat on you or does not really love you so you continue going out with other people in tha hopes of filling up that irreplaceable insecurity you’re feeling that only you alone can solve.
4. He/she is devious and sly and has tried one or two of the following: altered their time card log-in when no one else is looking, did not return extra change, bought a P150 worth exchange gift for a P250 worth. When you have a sly mind, you’re also likely to use it to cheat on your partner same as you’ve been doing with everything else.
5. He/she changes mind quicky. If your spouse haven’t had a stable job that lasts long, is impulsive, easily gets tired with stuff, doesn’t have a cause he/she strongly believes in, and is quick to change mind and opinion, then it is more probable that he/she is also constantly deliberating between liking/loving two or more persons at tha same time. And it’s just so easy to go back and forth, back and forth…

Signs you’re getting fat

Used to be that all tha junkfood… tha potato chips, Mr. Chips, Tortillos, cake slices, chocolate and strawberry cookies I ram into ma mouth don’t turn into anything ‘cept be burn’d down for some unfathomable reason [coz Lord knows exercise I do not]. That my flat 24-inch waistline would not betray tha restless mouth I have that’s prone to bouts of midnight snackin’. That I’d even make fun of ma high school pals’ seriousness at dieting by defiantly eating 2-3 Mars chocolate almond bars during lunch and leave ‘em wondering why I don’t get fat and my skin doesn’t break out. I thought all was fine and I could continue like this till old age & not be fat. Then I reach’d 23.
Because of a not-so-adequate earnings, a workplace that’s waay faraway from home, and a job that entails late night events, I tried to save by not eating much outside tha home and then stuffin’ ma pretty face full once I step’d inside tha comforts of my home -which would usually be around 10pm becoz of tha heavy traffic and tha natural farness of tha workplace or even later when there’s an event- and then proceeding to lie down & sleep even before I have completely digested my last bite. After a year of this kinda lifestyle, workmates begin to notice tha weight I was putting on, every pair of loose jeans I own suddenly begin to fit snugly, and t’was a constant struggle to put on jeans that used to be easy to get into. Suddenly I’m fat. And here are tha telltale signs:

1. During a bath, you try to look down straight at yer crotch and find that your stomach is obstructing tha view.
2. When you slip on a pair of panties, all open sides –tha waistband, and both leg bands seem to be digging a bit into your flesh and tha waistband seem to get semi-lost UNDER tha bulge that is your tummy where it USED TO just lie FLAT on your tummy and tha skin abuv tha waistband is level with tha waistband as if both are just of one flat, even surface.[not anymore!]
3. You wear a tight fitting shirt and notice that tha part covering tha stomach has creases and folds.
4. You find lines [if not full on cellulites]on your tummy.
5. You pinch your puson and find that you have something [a whole lot of something] to pinch.
6. You put a ruler from your navel straight down and find that there’s a space between tha ruler and your skin just three inches below your navel.
7. When you wear old slacks, you find that your crotch has gotten quite bulky and tha outline of your crotch is visible, not to mention tha hot, crowded, closed-in feeling your crotch is having.
8. At tha end of tha day, you’ll have red marks around your waist and tummy from wearing jeans that has gotten super snug.
9. You frequently get gas, “kabag”, ulcer and an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach that you get from insisting on wearing jeans that don’t really fit anymore.

Strange Fantasies, Engagement, Virginity, & Marriage
One of my strange fantasies has always been to be approached by a total stranger, be given flowers [doesn’t matter if it’s a single rose or a whole bouquet of flowers] without any prepared note, and then quick as he had arrived, the man will walk away from me without looking back. It shows three traits I want in a man: courage, impulsive extravagance, and the ability for doing a thoughtful gesture without expecting anything in return. The closest I’ve encountered is getting an anonymous note stuck in my Math book with my name and the words “Love your smile” penned in red in 1st yr. college.
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Since everyone is gettin’ engaged nowadays, might as well share my own engagement fantasy. I have always dreamt of being engaged at an early puppy-love age. Ideally, I would have luv’d gettin’marriage proposals in kindergarten. Since that isn’t exactly feasible anymore, let’s move on to my idea of engagement and marriage. If I were to get engaged and be married, I wouldn’t want it any other way than to be in secret. Secret engagement and marriage as in no one knows it ‘cept for me & him. Other peepz alwez ruin relationships that should only involve 2 persons and so why put up & be bogg’d down by bothering to tell other people?
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No man marries for virginity anymore. And honestly, wut virgin woman would want to get hitch’d to superficial thinking men who’ll only marry for intact hymen? This doesn’t mean that women should sleep around as they please. The following traits are traits I think that men should have to be able to qualify in sleeping wit decent women:

1. Should at least be paying for his own life presently [his rent, laundry, daily food, bills] if not owning a solo condo unit
2. Independent decision maker [one who doesn’t need to consult his parents or elderly anymore for mundane activities like driving cars or making decisions.
3. Should be able to book his own medical appointment etc. and buy his own personal toiletries/underwear.

Otherwise, boys, juz be content wit kissing us for tha moment. Or you could marry us first… Remember boys, kindergarten actions deserve just-as-juvenile intimate moments. Sex means you are getting ready to provide for a life being or two.