Bois & gels, Relate! I just did. Thank you, Steve Martin! Excerpts from his bestselling book, Shopgirl:

He is on the prowl. He does not know her, he has only seen her. He has responded to something visceral. He only imagines the character that unites her clothes, her skin, and her body. He has imagined the pleasure of touching her. She is a feminine object that tweaks him at his animal best. Romantically, he is an adolescent. If he thinks he would harm her, he would back away. But he does not yet understand when and how people are hurt. His interest in her comes from the part of him that still believes he can have her without obligation. He believes that he can exist with her from eight to eleven and enter a private and personal world that they will create that will cease to exist in the off hours or off days. He believes that the world will be independent of other worlds he might create on another night, in another place, and he has no intention of allowing it to affect his true quest for a mate. He believes that in this affair, what is given back and forth will be exactly even, and that they will both see the benefits they are receiving. But because he picked her by sight alone, he fails to see that her fragility, which he smelled and sensed and is lured by, runs deep in her heart and is part of her nature, and cannot be separated out for him to fuck. He is now taking a remedial course in fucking 101, to learn how to handle the criticisms, inexplicable antics, insults, and misunderstandings that seem to him to be the inevitable conclusion to the syllogism of sex. But he is not aware that he is on such a serious mission. He thinks he is a bachelor having a good time.
***
When he told her he's not ready for a real relationship for the moment but wanted to keep seeing her, she believes he has told her that he is bordering on falling in love with her, and he believes that she understands that he isn't going to be anybody's boyfriend. "I'm traveling too much right now," he says. In this sentence, he serves notice that he would like to come to town, sleep with her, and leave. She believes that he is expressing frustration at having to leave town and that he is trying to cut down on traveling. "So what I’m saying is that we should be allowed to keep our options open, if that's okay with you." At this point, he believes that he has told her that in spite of what could happen tonight, they are still going to see other people. She believes that after he cuts down on his traveling, they will see if they should get married or just go steady. So now they have had the Conversation. What neither of them understands is that these conversations are meaningless. The sayer believes they are heard, and the hearer believes they are never said.
***
She is not sophisticated enough to understand what is happening to her and he is not sophisticated enough to know what he is doing to her. He tells her he is sorry he hurt her. And he is, but inside he doesn't know what he could have done differently. He is determined not to love her; she is not his peer. He knows that he is using her, but he isn't able to stop. And as powerful as their desire for each other remains, their conflicting goals stalemate them, and their relationship has failed to move forward. She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart. After years, it happens to him. Someone else breaks his heart, and only then does he realize what he has done to her, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both.

Handling a call center account is coming home just in time for your morning bowel movement.

I should be gettin' out of ma comfort zone. Tis is wut ma new shrink told me as I told him I was feelin’ a bit down and insecure 'bout ma'self lately. Like mebbe am not acting fully to wut should have been ma worth. Stop sulking and rebelling! Act and make things happen!, said tha shrink. So gettin' out of ma comfort zone, I am. I started by re-locating work stations @ tha office yet again to ma respective department where I shud've been in tha first place. Used to place self wedg'd @ d corner of tha room in tha IT Department where they alwez try to shoo me away anyways, and try re-locating me near Mon2 tha artist and Yaya, tha photographer. Tha corner of tha room, I've alwez told em, has alwez been conducive to ma writing/thinking process. Now I've re-located again but tis time in ma department so as not to be deem’d a rebel anymore by tha likes of Nykko. Still thinkin' of ways wherein I can be gettin' outta ma comfort zone. For tha three-day weekend, I try coming up wit fun thangs to do to combat boredom. As malling is too much an ordinary thang fo' me to do, almost as regular as breathing, I try thinking of other thangs to do, more in tha manner of Gettin' Out of Ma Comfort Zone League as per Nykko tha shrink. I thought of spontaneously going to faraway out-of-town places like Island Cove or Baguio. But am not too “Out-of-Comfort-Zone” yet as to be jumping up & down to travel by ma lonesome. So I tried asking Ruth tha gal best pal. She had deadlines for her Cheerdance article. Did not consider asking Allan as he had no monetary units. Ask’d Toyz to either go wit me to Island Cove or to schools like UST or U.P. He call'd me weird. Shot back @him that he shud be Gettin’\' Out of His Comfort Zone which had been tha gimik hang-out that is Greenbelt. Went back to bullyin’ Ruth to goin wit me, desperately tellin’ her she had no spontaneity in her bones for livin' life to a T and not goin wit me obediently when I ask her. Told me sumthin 'bout not compromising responsibilities fo’ spontaneity. So appeased ma’self for tha meantime in malling and planning a Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Party for friends. Texted everyone if they're up to it even if haven't have tha slightest idea wut a Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Party would be like. Got one confirm'd reply sayin' she’' in long as it’s “good, nice, clean fun”. Now am tryin’ to think of tha components of a good, rockin’ Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Party. If you have some ideas, holler.

A month and a half is over.

“It's him.” I say to myself and to everyone who has ears, excited and full of hope. I have met tha man who weakens me. Tha heart has chosen, reason broken. So special was he, I wanted to steal a kiss on his neck, tha nearest part of him, as he slept next to me on tha way home in tha jeep after our first kiss. So special was he, I resist impulses to hug him in public when we meet. So special, I try to give him good dreams and keep him safe every night by sheer force of affection towards him. So special was he that I speak to my Creator about him.

Me: Is this true? Are you really giving him to me?
God: …
Me: Isn't this wut you wanted? Isn’t it good that am feelin' this? And that I want to love him more than myself and I wanna put all tha greatness other people have said bout me and all tha good features You have infused in Your creation of me into a Crack at Loving him.
God: But he is not yours.
Me: …
God: You do know I gave him temporarily, didn't you? That I was prone to take him back from you eventually, as most things in this world are not permanent.
Me: I know. But give me, like, a month and a half.

Dating wisdom quotables from Carol Wolper:

1. Any guy who doesn’t call the next day is a skank.
2. Let your mantra be “next”.
3. Mr. Never’s idea of a commitment is a three-day weekend.
4. If dating applies some agreed upon pattern… an assumption of consistency, then no, I ‘m not dating.
5. The only faithfulness people have is toward emotions they are trying to re-create.

“I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.”

I give you back your heart. I give you permission. She is the sum of yourself and your dreams. Approach her like a monument, step after step. She is solid. She is your have to have. As for me, I am watercolor. I wash off. --Anne Sexton

One little tip for tha regular Internet dependent guy: Never ever make pa-cute, sad puppy dog declarations of unrequitted love to tha gurl you're still pining for on ym/friendster/facebook/what-have-you current means of staying in touch through public postings like shoutouts/status msgs/bulletin posts/blogs if you plan to keep on dating/sleep wit another gurl who's on tha same networking site list. Tha meantime gurl will catch on to it, leave you, and it will cause a temporary rift between you and wutz-between-your-legs. Blue balls are sad things to have.

When I was hanging out wit you, I was going through a bad time. Very insecure, very needy. It worked out for you. But now, I feel better. Closer to tha top of my game. Trust me, you don't wanna hang out wit tha new me. Don't call me 'til I'm weak and insecure again.

When we were together I was blown awayJust like paper from a fanBut you would act like I was just a kidLike we were never gonna lastNow Ive got someone who cares for meHe wrote my name in silver sandsI think you know youve lost the love of your life(and you said) I was the best youve ever hadBecause Im in demandYoure thinking of the way you shoulda held my handAnd all the times you said you didnt understandYou never had our love written in your plansBut now Im in demandDont ever think you saw the best in meTheres a side youll never knowCos love and loving are too different thingsSet your sites far too lowNow Ive got someone who cares for meHe wrote my name in silver sandsI think you know youve lost the love of your life(and you said) I was the best youve ever hadBecause Im in demandYoure thinking of the way you shoulda held my handAnd all the times you said you didnt understandYou never had our love written in your plansBut now Im in demandYoure thinking of the way you shoulda held my handAnd all the times you said you didnt understandYou never had our love written in your plansBut now Im in demandIts only when I fall asleepI see that winning smileWhen my dreams just move alongYouve lost the race by milesYeah yeah yeah yeah yeahYeah yeah yeah yeah yeahYeah yeah yeah yeah yeah(never had our love written in your plans)Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeahBecause Im in demandYoure thinking of the way you shoulda held my handAnd all the times you said you didnt understandYou never had our love written in your plansBut now Im in demandYou know Im in demandYou see Im in demandYou know Im in demandYou know Im in demandYou never had our love written in your plansYou know Im in demandYou see Im in demandYou need me in demandYou want me in demand

Lazy people doomed to bachelorhood/spinsterhood
Why being dynamic can even be more important than being faithful in a relationship

It has juz dawn'd on me that tha passive, lazy, people of tis earth has no chance of winning in love as compared to their more go-getting, dynamic rivals. Just take a look at scenarios of couples that've been together for years and years. One of em will usually git bored of tha other and think that tha other has lost his lovin' feelin' and has begun to take her for granted. Along will come Mr. Third Party who's fresh, lovin', and brimming wit new ideas on how to express his desire for Unattainable Ms. Long Relationship. If Ms. Long Relationship ain't strong enuf, taken in by tha fresh energy & courtship, she'll most likely be fool'd into thinking that Mr. Third Party is really whom she deserves more, regardless of her cluelessness on Mr. Third Party's track record of broken hearts or unfaithfulness or infidelity. Next thing we know, Mr. Passive Long Relationship is left hangin' in tha cold as Mr. Third Party takes his girl away, clueless of wut had juz happen'd, and still continuing in his pure, sincere, faithful love for his already taken away gurl, albeit passively.