Thursday, December 18

Hello silence, my old friend

I guess you can say that I have always been clingy. Before internet was invented, I used to yap on the phone for hours with friends, calling one friend after another just to have some form of company, to exchange theories and jokes, gossip about others and ask how they were (which sometimes mislead guy friends into thinking that I have feelings for them when in fact I just don't want to be left alone with my restless mind).

During the era of cellphones, I would register for unlimited texting service to my provider whenever I feel lonely and bombard most -if not all- of my friends with text messages to somehow soothe my nerves.

Soon after the internet became a household essential, it quickly became my next mode of communication to talk to friends. Somehow I always feel the urge to talk to friends -an outlet to my hyperactive mind that doesn't seem to want to rest. It doesn't help that the first guy I entered a relationship with was clingy himself (calling and texting me every single minute of the day) and when I mirrored his actions, he happily encouraged it. As a result, I have demanded my boyfriends in the past to call me everyday and every night and when that doesn't seem feasible to an ex, I agreed to calls placed at least every other day.

Last year though, I met a very antipatiko man who doesn't tolerate clinginess and who won't communicate with me 24/7 even if I ask him to.  During weekdays, any attempt I have to communicate with him will be met with lukewarm, one-word and/or no replies. What we'd do was just see each other at the end of the week. At first, it seemed hard, but it has gotten so that even I don't lift my fingers any more to text him, call him or chat to him. Afterwards, a whole week can pass by with neither one of us hearing a peep from each other, and I have gotten used to it. I guess you could say that the experience taught me to keep to myself. Because now, I don't feel the need to talk to anyone any more. I don't make attempts to get me noticed, to voice what's running through my head and I don't mind if friends don't try to reach out to me, too. I have found ways to keep myself busy and that's why I've been pretty quiet, too. I have found a new interest/hobby that allows me to just  be quietly preoccupied without feeling the need to talk or write.

I have come to accept and embrace silence and it doesn't bother me any more.






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