Birthday Thoughts

So. I just turned 33 recently. Having reached this age, here are some random thoughts/accomplishments/sentiments I have:

• My immense love for myself

          It may not be apparent but I love myself immensely. I don't mind being single because I have to be in control all the time. I don't take commands and suggestions from other people too well -especially if it goes against my plans. How it goes is a partner should try to please me. If I'm mildly pleased, he is allowed to make subtle suggestions on how I must live my life. If he's lucky, I will begin doing things for him and including him in my plans. If a partner fails to satisfy me in any way, I don't settle. There are no second chances. Not getting it right the first time means goodbye.

• Improvement of self-discipline 

          I have found out that one of the things that improve with age with me is my self-discipline. In the past, I had a hard time concentrating on some of the tasks that I need to work on. However, I have learned that it's easier to just delay my gratification and attack pending tasks to free myself later on to do as I please. It's really very simple. When I motivate myself with a reward at the end of each task, it makes everything faster and easier to do.

• Hypnosis, meditation and healing

          My mantra for 2015 is to be rid of as much negativity as possible... this includes mental, emotional and physical sickness, ill thoughts, bad dreams and so forth. To embark on this path, I have already started reading up on self-help books late last year. I also had my chakras balanced through an aura soma session and reiki healing session from a psychic/reiki healer I stumbled upon in one of my new age groups I recently joined. She was the one who told me that I was a psychic myself. 

Anyway, whenever I'm starting to feel stressed, what I do is turn the situation around immediately by stopping myself from thinking about the negative and starting to think about the positive. 

For instance, there was a night when it was raining very hard, I was carrying heavy bags of groceries alone, the bus I was riding missed my stop by miles and I have to climb the overpass which was flooded up to the knees. I was sopping wet and hated to imagine what was swimming in the dirty overpass I had to walk through. Just as I started to get mad at the situation, I stopped myself mid-thought and decided to change how I view things. 

I suddenly told myself: "Look! It's raining! Nice cold weather such as what you've always wished for when you were a child waiting for the rain to fall by the windows. Aren't you glad to be going home in a cool weather instead of the usual hot and humid climate that can be stressful on the nerves? And when was the last time you got to bathe in the rain? It's a blessing really to be able to walk home in such cool, relaxing climate!" I calmed down considerably after this and walked home in a better mood. 

Apart from this, I also started studying hypnosis and pranic healing, and I have used the method on myself, on my family and even on pets when not feeling well. I have rid myself of migraine, my mom of a stomach ache, my cat of flu and my dad of bad dreams and talking in his sleep. 

• Less is more 

       When you start to age, you stop being fascinated so much by material things and hedonistic pleasures. Last year I have lost a considerable amount of weight just because I don't feel my old need to gorge on so much sweets and junk food any more. Besides I have learned from research that too much sweets/salty food can be bad for my body and cause me sickness as well as bad skin, odors and so forth. Apart from weight loss, I have also stopped purchasing clothes, shoes, bags and accessories. What's the point anyway when my parents will just throw them away or give them to charity at church? I will just be wasting my money. My main concern now is to save up for emergency expenses and sure things in life such as emergency sicknesses or accidents and funeral costs for me and my parents. After all, I may not marry in this life but I am sure that I will die, along with my parents. 

• Travelling alone

   This is on my bucket list -if I ever have one. First suggested to me by my best friend who I suspect just don't want to come with me when asking her to travel with me, she said that travelling alone can really change the perspective of an individual, just look at one of our female classmates, she said. Because I have limited funds, a bit scared, and an ex told me that it's a bad idea and I'm better off travelling in pairs, I am still gathering courage/funds to accomplish this goal, especially since this was the exact thing that my brother-in-law did and the next thing we know, we found his lifeless body on a faraway island for us to claim and identify. 

• House repair

      It has been my life long dream to have our house repaired and renovated into a beautiful mansion, MTV Cribs-style! When I was still a little girl, I always beg my dad to have a swimming pool installed in our garden. However, I cannot achieve this dream without my other wish, leading us to...

• Stable job

     Being a writer/editor is really not what you may call a stable and secure job. Had I known that I will be the breadwinner for the family, then I would have preferred it very much if my parents had sat me down before college and told me: "Listen, you are free to choose whatever course you damn well please but know that you have to support us sooner or later so if I were you, choose a practical, reasonable course that will earn us lots of money and give you leeway funds to do the things you wanted to do." As it is, I am constantly looking for a stable source of income. I'm not sure I can tolerate studying again and what course I might take because I believe in facing the reality of job-seeking early on instead of just prolonging the agony by studying and then later on getting disappointed just the same (which is more painful because it cost you unnecessary expenses to boot!) So, yeah. I hope I can get a stable job in a stable company so less worries and more time to enjoy myself. Also, a stable job can propel me to save funds which I can ultimately use later on to build a side business for myself and also to repair our house and make everyone -elementals included- happy.