Tha Perils Of Bein’ a Bunso
1] no one takes you seriously. [i’m serious.]
2] ya git mocked for yer efforts.
3] evry’un laughs at ya.
4] ya oftn git ignored.
***
Diden know how I got tha clan together in tha car and diden know how I got em at tha hotel yesterday but I did and I don’t wanna talk no more ‘bout how when I tried to convince maver to git tha family to go wit me to tha mall, she juz went right ahead and slept; nor do I wanna talk ‘bout how she wuz jolted from her sleep when I fin’lly told her we’re goin’ to a hotel fo’ tha night, laugh’d her wits off, tried to sleep and then laugh’d some more til she told paver and then both were in hysterics; and neither do I wanna tell ‘bout how ma clan pretended not to know me ten feet away til I settled tha deposit wit tha receptionist of tha hotel.
***
I diden like tha orange light of our room. I diden like their sneaky way of chargin’ supposed to be complimentary [accdng to their pamphlet] local calls. I diden like tha shampoo. I diden like how they diden provide mouthwash or toothpaste. I diden like tha pretentious look of tha hotel’s restaurant. I liked tha bathtub. I liked their breakfast. I liked tha cleanliness of our room. I liked tha weighing scale. I liked tha hairdryer. I liked tha scroungy plastic thingy you put on your head. I diden like missin’ tha chance to use tha pool/sauna/gym but then that wuz entirely our fault.
***
You can call it Christmas week if you like, this span of days between Christmas and New Year's Day. But in New York City, this in-between season is really New Year's week. It has all the human frenzy of the days before Christmas but none of the pressure of a Santa Claus deadline. The clock is still ticking relentlessly, but toward a new holiday denouement.
In this in-between week, the main event is just trying to get around with your self-importance intact. It will come to a standstill tonight, when all eyes stare upward, when everyone gives up and gawks. -->anonymous