Ma first job interview [Interview wit a vampire]

Armed wit a bank on wheels [paver] and a direction guru [ikot-happy chauffeur Raffy], I set out on ma interview confident that I’ll never starve nor be late for ma interview. Indeed after takin’ a quick lunch, I still had thirty minutes to sit and stare at tha mestiza ladies and nerdy guys who were all waitin’ to be interviewed. I also had tha time to glance at tha identical leathered toes of tha female employees & interviewees, then at ma own bare toes. As three of ma companions were whisked away, I became quite impatient & ask’d tha guard if he could send someone out to talk to. That’s when Cianelle, tha fashionable HRD came. Clipboard in hand, she told me these words: “YOU DO NOT HAVE A SCHEDULE TODAY!” “YOU DID NOT CONFIRM IT YESTERDAY!” I wuz like, “No, really?” and her face goes “Really!” “Maybe you want to set it another time…when would you like it to be?”
But miraculously, she found me a schedule for 2:30 tha same day.
And so tha interview ensued… tha interviewer, to ma relief, turn’d out to be gay. I thought it a relief since gay people are so much easier to get along wit. Tha interview lasted TWO AND A HALF HOURS! [We were vampires who dried out each other’s blood thru detail’d questioning and wide of the mark, stupid answering.] Long enuf for poor paver to git a stiff back from sittin’ outside & long enuf for him to send me four messages. [Antagal!]; [TAGAL!]; [Ano ba? Pinagtrabaho ka na ba dyan? Sabihin mo bukas ka na lang mags-start!]; [Aakyat na ako dyan!]Tha interviewer wuz really nice, only he won’t quit laughin’ at ma serious answers. I really wish he’d quit especially when merely opening ma mouth gets him roarin’ like a hyena again. Somehow I got tha notion that he wants me to pass tha interview, wit him bein’ an alumni of our school and also his perseverance in squeezin’ out tha right answers to queschns seein’ that ma answers don’t always match his queschns. But he could only do so much. I expect that I won’t see him nor tha already familiar fat guard in barong again. All I really wanted wuz an experience at gettin’ grill’d anyway. Who knows? I might actually git a question right tha next time.